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Most of you know that Justice Jim Sharp is not Juanita’s favorite Texas Democrat.  He’s also pretty much not her favorite anything right now.  You probably recall his swanky fundraiser invitation just a week ago that should win the Whoa, Hon, That’s Tacky Commemorative Award.

Well, now he’s outdone himself.  Big Jim gave an interview to the Austin American Statesman where he whined that Texas Democrats need far more old white guys on the ticket because Texas is “ostensibly” a racist, sexist state.  And then, to put some jelly in that donut, he said that Bill White is not qualified to be Governor. And he said it all on tape.  No, seriously, that’s the trifecta of the ignorant jerk contest.  You can’t pull stunts like that sober and smart.

Juanita is not shocked. She contends that Jim’s theory is a whole lot like saying, “Martin, I don’t think you should march down there in Selma …. It’s a very anti-black environment.  It’s ostensibly racist, you know.  We better not go there.”

“Jim thinks the voters should not have put Linda Chavez Thompson on the statewide Democratic ticket because she’s …. well, not white and male.  I’m sure that Linda apologizes deeply for that, along with  all the other non-white males in the state, for all the bother we cause you, Jim.”

“Jim,” she says, “gets elected because he has a name a whole lot like a politician who is very beloved in this part of the state – John Sharp.  Jim thinks this makes him the smartest man on earth.”

“Jim thinks that Bill White shouldn’t be Governor because he hasn’t held statewide office.  I know Bill White,” Juanita announces. “He’s been in the White House.  He’s qualified to be President of the United States.  Tomorrow.  Give him 20 minutes of Hebrew lessons and he could perform a bar mitzvah.”

“Governor?  Oh, please.  Best I can tell, the duties of Governor consist of sitting in a $20,000 a month rent house and threatening to secede.”

“Bill White as Governor will probably have time to coach a little league football team and make several guest appearance at the Midland / Odessa Community Theater.”

“So, Jim, it’s not the first time I’ve told you and I’m sure it won’t be the last — Kiss my big blue butt, you arrogant son of  goat.”

She means it.