Just When I Thought That Maybe “Crazy” Was It’s Own Political Party …
Public Policy Polling proved that The Crazy Party and the Republican Party have officially merged.
A new survey from Public Policy Polling finds that one-third of Republicans believe the Jade Helm 15 conspiracy theory that “the government is trying to take over Texas,” and another 28 percent of GOP voters haven’t made up their minds yet about the matter.
If my math is correct, and most times it is, that means that 61% of Republicans believe that it is or could be true that there are large underground tunnels connecting WalMarts all across the country, put there by the United States military and prepared to be used by President Barack Obama to take away your guns, your beer and your air conditioning this summer starting in Bastrop, Texas, with 60 troops, two Humvees, and a helicopter.
Sixty. One. Percent. So if you’re a Republican and you’re not wacko or at least edging up on it, you’re not in the big tent. If you’re a Republican and you’re at a family reunion and ten people are there, six of them should not be allowed to have knives or matches.
I heard one guy on the electric teevee insisting that Obama was going to brainwash them all. Well, they damn well need it! Hell, in the alternative, their brains don’t need washing because there’s nothing there to get dirty. President Obama could just braindust them.
I have for the life of me been trying to figure out what Obama is going to do with all the people he’s herding into WalMarts. A girl’s softball league with players of all genders? A rock band: Guns and Tribulations? A special army to invade Hawaii to destroy his birth certificate?
Beats the hell outta me.
True American Patriots in Florida are safe, because down there all the Walmart connecting tunnels are flooded with sea water.
That’s also true in North Carolina, but please don’t give the Gov there my contact info, because talking about sea-rise in NC is illegal.
1You know, Guns and Tribulations does sound like a good rock band name. Certainly beats Trials and Roses.
2The matter of the US taking over Texas was settled in 1865. Texas was taken over, and that hasn’t changed, to the chagrin of many Texas residents then and now.
3Maybe PBO will use the empty Wal-Marts as factories to manufacture cheap junk to export to China via the tunnels?
4Is that why we don’t have as many Walmarts around here? Because we’ve already been taken over (by ourselves)?
Maybe heavy metal poisoning due to handling so many bullets?
5Check out the 76% of Perry supporters who believe this crap.
6Why Walmarts? I can’t figure out why these idiots would pick the one place that actually supports teatard policies.
7@Barb I noticed that the Cruz n Perry supporters were the nuttiest and the JEB n Christie supporters the sanest. Interesting…
8My sister in DC called last night cackling over a Bill Maher piece she had just seen re: Jade Helm 15. Hadn’t heard it myself, so jumped on the Internet machine to take a listen and ended up giggling myself.
Maher ends his rant with this:
“[Texas is] the white Somalia. Stop worrying about being sucked into the new world order, you’re barely in the current world order. And the only reason we conduct military exercises in your area is there’s no chance of accidentally damaging anything anybody cares about.”
Said sister is retired federal law enforcement and currently is under contract to provide training for current federal agents.
Oh and I have some very sane friends who live in Bastrop who not doubt have been doing some active facepalming!
9The tunnels under the Texas and Oklahoma Walmarts will soon (if not already) be filled with rubble due to earthquakes caused by fracking. The Iris Seismic Monitor shows a 4.0 earthquake in Texas on May 7 and two 4.1 level earthquakes in Oklahoma in April. http://ds.iris.edu/seismon/
10James C. Moore (author of “Bush’s Brain: How Karl Rove Made George W. Bush Presidential”) says:
“As POWs (Prisoners of Walmart), we expect to be put to work in the sporting goods department against our will while earning below minimum wage.”
11Isn’t that about the same percentage of sure and not-sure Republicans who think Obama’s a Muslim? (Or, in at least one case, “Muslin.”) Or was it the percentage of sure and not-sure Republicans who think he was born in Kenya? Or who think he’s going to unzip his skin like a Doctor Who creature any day now to reveal the human-eating alien within? (No, that’s Dick Cheney.) Or who STILL think he’s “coming for their guns”?
I’m quite sure myself that these people should not be allowed to vote because their heads are too far up their (seat cushions) to have any clue what the sam hill is going on. Their hound dogs would have a better chance of making an intelligent voting choice.
12So do you think there have always been this many dumb people or do we just know about them now because of this internet thing?
I see a Stephen King book where the dumb is a virus and takes over the country.
13I just took a looksee at the survey details. They surveyed both Rs and Ds, but only asked the self-described Rethugs the Texas question.
14Very smart of Public Policy Polling. They wanted to make sure they actually had some Democrats respond in the survey. Any reasonable person (um, fill in party name here) confronted with that question in a “poll” would just hang up, thinking the caller was some RWNJ instead of a real polling organization.
Whenever possible, we run trains on top of the ground. This is because if you run a train under the ground, a tunnel must be dug. Tunnels are very expensive.
The Republicans just cut Amtrak’s budget by 20% because we don’t have enough money to run trains on top of the ground.
If we don’t have enough money to run trains in the least expensive way possible, where do we get the money to build tunnels that connect Wal*Marts all across the country?
BONUS QUESTION: Will Obama also build these tunnels all the way to the Mexican border and rent them out, or sell time shares to drug lords so we can defray construction costs?
15It is pretty scary. It is getting harder to write satire all the time…
DoD Admits Invasion of Texas Associated with “Jade Helm 15”
16http://www.theniladmirari.com/2015/05/dod-admits-invasion-of-texas-associated.html
Pretty sure Fat and Nasty (C Christie) wants to take over the food supply.
17Q: Where are all the piles of dirt excavated to make these tunnels? Where are they hiding the earth moving equipment? Inquiring minds want to know.
18OOPS! That was Fat and Furious. Nasty,too.
19The people being rounded up and taken to Walmart for ‘processing ‘……..they process deer ,I wonder if they are being turned into Soyent Green……Wait a minute……That’s it…..we are grinding up detainees to feed to the Poor! Jade Helm 15 rocks…….
20Should the rest of the citizens of the Union placate these “delicate” souls by removing OUR military hardware and personnel?
You know, let these folks relive all of their Alamo fantasies on their own dime.
21when I was a kid and my daddy was stationed at Bergstrom AFB the entire base (except for people in the hospital) was evacuated to Bastrop for the weekend as a maneuver in case of nuclear attack by the Russians…wonder what they would have thought today if they saw the entire base being evacuated? dumb ones.
22Yeah but those 60 guys are all like Rambo so that makes it like a whole Division coming after us… oops them.
23Ya know, I’m aware that this whole thing is a paranoic’s prom, this ammo-erotic fantasy that an invading socialist army is planning a Red(neck) Dawn roundup that Must. Be. Stopped.
But I’m starting to think it might not be a bad idea. It was Reagan’s emptying of the psycho wards that got us here in the first place. So call it Jade Butterfly Net, and parcel these paranoid “Patriots” into padded WalMarts.
24I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
25Seriously, we need some member of the joint chiefs to say – before a camera – that these people are loons. Some unambiguous, non-politically correct statement that the media will pick up and run with. “These people are absolutely stupid.” would do the trick.
Humoring them, or tolerating them,or placating them will just make them stronger. You’re the friggin’ Pentagon! ATTACK! (You know,with words . . . )
26Just how hard would it be to get low-information folks into a Wal-Mart? It makes perfect sense. Just advertise a sale on snack foods and ammo, and the job just does itself. That President, he’s a crafty one.
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