Just What We Needed!
Okay, okay, don’t get too excited because he did pay for it himself. However, you can bet he didn’t. You can bet that somebody paid for it for him. You know, like a gift from Sheldon Adelson or something.
But, here’s the deal. Trump bought himself a new toy for $50,000. It’s a super duper deluxe fancypants golf simulator. And he needed it because he was running out of things to do during his Executive Time.
They pretty much figure that this is the one he bought. They say it takes about an hour and half to play a round of golf on your own using this toy.
He had it installed in their private living quarters so nobody would know how much he’s playing golf or kissing the teevee screen when Sean Hannity comes on.
Thanks to Jaime for the heads up.
I figure that all the time he spends with this is time he’s not ginning up some diversion and lying on Twitter.
However, it pisses me off to end about how much he criticized Obama for playing golf on the weekends. The few weekends he actually had a chance to play. I need to take some more blood pressure medicine.
1I always had a theory about golfing– when my peer group guys got serious about golfing, I figured that things had cooled way down at home (in the bedroom…). Me, I’ve only played a few rounds in my life, no time for it (IYKWIM)… ;]
2Please enter an alternate location course from the following:
– Border Wall Southwestern US
– Red Square, Soviet Union
– Venezuela, oil fields
– Nancy Pelosi’s office window, Washington, DC
3For that price it better have a hole-in-one software upgrade, for those bad news days. The game could then auto-link with a drone pilot stationed in Nevada, who would course correct the golf ball, and guide it into the cup. For authenticity, sometimes the controller might let the Titleist roll slowly, slowly across the green, then just as forward momentum halts, the ball plops into the hole.
Winning!
4On the plus side, it saves us money on AF1, Marine1 and Secret Service details that would otherwise be dumped at his various properties. We can also hope that sucker has some kind of cheat feature that will scream loud enough to scare Donnie into a massive coronary.
5He should have bought a White House simulator 2+ years ago
6This new toy for Rump might keep him distracted from playing with the red button of destruction. I’m all for that…
7I’m speechless. I thought we had reached the bottom of the barrel discussing the time-wasters this man utilizes. An f’ing golf game in the quarters is pushing into the muck below the bottom of the barrel.
8I’d love to hack into the damned thing, and code it so that
1. the golf courses are surrounded by 40-foot tall grey concrete walls
2. as play proceeds, more and more bystanders start crowding the player … and they all wear MAGA hats and constantly give the ol’ Heil Trump salute
3. the sun starts washing out the view, and sea level water starts rising to where the tee has to be 3 feet high to keep it out of the water.
In other words, to turn his simulated world into what he is turning our real world into. [Actually, I have a lab full of grad students who I need to warn about NOT doing this. Unless they have good cut-outs and can’t be tracked back here].
9He will return it because it slices in 3,2,1…
10Can a golf simulator be programmed to cheat? Otherwise, why would he want one? The pros he goes golfing with say he’s a lousy player.
11This is an upgrade on what Obama had.
12Would be nice if the megabucks ‘golf simulator’ came with random beaner balls (or whatever they’re called), quicksand sand traps, Aussie salties in the water traps, grizzlies/Kodiaks in the weeds, Crotalinae in the greens, Elapidae in the cups, Scorpiones in his golf bag…
13(had a dang scorpion in the bathroom a couple of days ago, got him with some ‘scrubbing bubbles’, heheh)