.

“This is exactly why Sweet Jesus threw the moneychangers out of the temple,” Juanita announces.  “Lookie here.”

“Here’s the deal,” she continues, “Anybody see anything wrong with the vice chairman of a Swiss bank implicated in a major tax evasion criminal investigation raising money for a 501(c)(4) that will spend it to elect members of Congress this fall without disclosing its donors?”

“Well,  Phil Gramm is the “Swiss” banker, otherwise known as the unindicted vice chairman of UBS,”  she explains.

“And here’s how it works,” she continues.

To jumpstart fundraising, the pro-Republican American Crossroads 527 group is reaching out to powerful politicos such as ex-Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas and aggressively using a new money-collecting entity that can give donors more privacy.

Lackluster fundraising in April and May pulled in only a total of roughly $1.25 million, prompting American Crossroads to recently set up a 501(c)(4) nonprofit arm that is also allowed to get involved in political campaigns, but is less transparent in reporting requirements. Deploying both entities, American Crossroads raised about $8.5 million in June, says Steven Law, the group’s president. Politico first reported the $8.5 million total and some details about the new 501(c)(4)

“And Crossroads has some high falutin’ plans in the works.  They are ‘trying to corral more than $50 million this year to run television ads and conduct get out the vote drives to boost the fortunes of a few dozen GOP Senate and House candidates in November.'”

A recent portrait of Phil Gramm

“Thank you, Phil Gramm, for your help in securing American democracy with open and honest government,” she says and then adds, “Sarcasm is just another of our friendly free public services.”

“So, the plan is to raise money from unidentified sources to elect Republicans.  As far as we know, this money will come from international drug cartels, the Illuminati, Osama bin Laden, and the Boys from Brazil.  If you would help us get this word out, we would appreciate it,” Juanita winks.