September 03, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized
Liberty University, the conservative Christian college for conservative Christians has just broken ground on an exciting new project! It’s a monolithic tower of manhood that will proudly stand at attention at the center of the University’s campus, straining as far towards heaven as its structure will allow.
Thanks to Chloe Bear for the heads up.
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My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district. It's nuttier than squirrel poop here.
I am honored and privileged to know Miss Juanita Jean Herownself, hairdresser extraordinary and political maven. Since she does not have time to fiddle with this internet stuff, I type her website for her and you can read it if you want to. If you don't, she truly does not give a big bear's butt.
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Oh my sooooo much material and soooo little time!
The buildings at the base should be geodesic domes of course. Two really really big geodesic domes.
or alternately.
There should be 4 shorter buildings, 2 on either side of the taller central tower.
1Are they mixing any Viagra/Cialis into the concrete for when the structure gets older?
2Free tuition to any nutjob capable of lugging Jerry Fatwell’s corpse to the top of the phallus symbol which is as close as Fatwell will ever get to heaven. If they drop him he will only end up in Hades where he belongs.
3So which will have the bigger phallic symbol Liberty U. or UT?
4Thrusting themselves forward into the world of tomorrow!
How long is the erection supposed to take and is it true that the work will be done to the theme song from “Shaft”?
5Will it have rush to the doctor after four hours?
6Looks a bit like Stanford’s Hoover Tower:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoover_Tower
7Looks like a phallic symbol to me.
8@Uncle Dave
If by “UT” you mean the Texas state university in Austin, then unquestionably UT’s phallic symbol is larger. Whatever that means psychologically.
9The threads are merging today. This could very well have been included in a Rand Paul selfie. Thinking the Liberty U students selected that design, after being subjected to little Randy’s mandatory listen to a blowhard speech.
10@pkm
Merging??? I thought if the threads even overlapped all life as you know it stopped instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploded at the speed of light. TWMDBSI is that powerful.
11Is it circumcised? Hard to tell. (Bad pun intended).
12Micr, it was a trap, sir. Miss Juanita Jean gave us two in a row with enough bait to keep Mama gleefully employed with a bar of soap to cleanse our comments and minds. In our house the words I fear are: “oh no you didn’t ….” That’s the thought that reminds me to keep my comments Mama safe.
13I can’t say anything bad about this. Glass houses and all that.
This is the skyline near where I live.
http://www.charterflightgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Winston-Salem-Skyline.jpeg
14Well, c’mon now, it is Libertine University. Uh…whut?
15University President Jerry Falwell + The Freedom Tower + Photoshop = Hours of entertainment
16Let’s face it, phallic architecture is all around us, from the Empire State building to the Hyde Park obelisk in Sydney Australia. The latter was covered with a hot pink condom during an AIDS awareness campaign. It perfectly represents the conservative message of (white)male domination.
17I hope at least it comes with a co… Sorry, I meant comes with a clock. You know, so it’s useful for telling the time.
Not sure I should even be using the word “comes” in this context.
Where’s Georgia O’Keeffe when you need her?
18Let’s call it Temptation Tower. Remember the story about not eating the fruit from that one tree in the garden.
Now for the garden, I’m thinking flowering crabapples, cherries and tulips.
Legend to follow. If a virgin graduates, the tower crumbles.
19What is it with the obsession or compulsion or whatever to use only perpendicular structures to honor the memory of dead men?
Oh, I see.
They get the shaft.
20They’re going to put a water fountain on the top, like Bilaggio’s.
21Just plain ugly and in poor taste.
22If it stands more than four decades, call your architect…
23It sure looks religious to me.
24Mama will hate me, but why are you’ll calling it a phallus, it’s the symbol of the religious right, a giant penis.
25… of the other religious right’s symbol, a giant middle finger at what is actually constitutional.
26@Henry
Yes they are. It’ll randomly spray every day for about 30 years. Then randomly every couple of days thereafter.
27Don’t ask me how I know this, but it looks like a large dildo. I’ve seen pictures, umkay?
28Is that a minaret? I think it’s a minaret. Isn’t it against Right-wing nut-baggery ideology to be building a tower at a RWNB college that either looks like a penis, or at best, like a minaret?
I mean, either could constitute a “graven image.”
29@LynnN
I love the idea of G O’Keefe working this monstrosity into a flowers painting. Too bad she’s not with us today to paint this badly needed piece.
30I’d say it’s circumcised, myself, based on my husb–oh I better hush and be quiet.
31Mama, look away: I can’t think of a better symbol for Liberty University than a giant dick. Or prick.
Martha Washington: “Washington slept here! Washington slept there! And look at that monument they built you!”
32It will be called the Viagra Tower – “I’ve got a heart on for Jesus”
33Ohhh, myyyyyy! That seems an . . .unusual. . .architectural choice for a conservative Christian university which considers even thinking about what that tower pretty clearly brings to mind to be a sin. Liberty University is promoting sin? Or just hubris?
34If they will just rename their athletic teams “The Trojans”, the irony would be complete.
35There was a mid-twentieth century ancient languages linguist who speculated that YHWH meant (um… stood for?) “The Erect One”. Seems fitting.
36My first thought? Liberty U has forgotten Genesis 11 re: Tower of Babel. My second thought — what everyone else thought.
37this is a damn good hoax. Not the Onion, but just as good.
http://jezebel.com/is-liberty-universitys-new-freedom-tower-just-a-big-ol-1728242855
38maybe they will call it Koch Tower. The vanity address could be 1 Big Koch.
39Sometimes a tower is just a cigar.
40austinhatlady — that was also my first thought! (I’m getting awfully slow in my old age.) Either way, it’s a strange monument for a “Christian” university. Sheesh!
41they will have to put blindfolds on all these innocent girls and offer therapy for all the boys who don’t think they measure up!
42Pink. Really, pink?
With a red tip – er, dome.
How about a couple of veiny blue exterior elevator shafts, just in case anybody missed the rest? And a nice little observation deck circling it near the top, for a knobbier effect?
I don’t know what these people worship. But it don’t look like Jesus to me.
43Here’s what it really looks like:
http://www.liberty.edu/news/index.cfm?PID=18495&MID=165013
http://www.liberty.edu/archives/public/photos/freedom-Tower-night-00g.jpg
44My first thought on seeing this drawing, “Where will they find Batteries?”
45@Cole, too funny! I bet they invite pRick Perry to the building dedication.
46Is that what the tower of babble.
47Oops, I meant is that what the tower of babble looked like?
48