So, Northwood Temple Academy is a private Christian school who had themselves some sort of tent revival last week at school. The school is in Lubbock, Texas, home of diddle squat and sand. My dear friend Dirt Janochek say that Lubbock exists because the devil spit it up outta hell. Dirt ain’t far from wrong.

In language worthy of a Republican congressman on the witness stand, the head of the school, Renee McLamb told this story … on Facebook.

“I feel it in my bones, You’re about to move! Today we had over 100 middle and high school students spontaneously declare their faith and get baptized today. We will have more pictures of these powerful moments posted over the next couple of days!”

Three kids were scheduled to be baptized that day. Now whether the holy spirit or teenage hormones were involved, 100 kids got the Jesus itch and that fire needed put out by holy water. Now, I dunno if Northwood Temple Academy are dunkers or sprinklers but water has got the be involved. Lubbock is in a desert and temperatures have been well over 100 degrees all summer.

Okay, some parents were thrilled but some were mad, double mad. Usually a baptism is a big thing with a cake and Aunt Polly’s jello fruit salad and a ham or something.

And then there was another problem.

McLamb said that most of the parents that contacted her were glad, but some were unhappy with the move. Some of the children had already been baptized, and at least one family was concerned that a second baptism could undo the first.

Oh good Lord, why do they even bother with school. It doesn’t seem to be taking.