Jammie Boy Still Jammin’
Okay, so disgraced Congressvarmint Blake Farenthold, the closest thing to Jabba the Hutt we have in Texas, is in a spittin’ match with Governor Greg Abbott, the closet thing to Darth Vader we have in Texas.
But, instead of it being monumental, it’s like hair pulling in the second grade.
Darth Greg says to Blake the Hutt, “You should have to pay for the special election we’re having to have to replace you for the three months left in your term.”
Blake the Hutt says back, “No, you twit, you called this special election. We didn’t have to have it. You made that choice so you pay for it.”
Meanwhile, the good folks on Alderaan, who were devastated by Hurricane Harvey and have zero money left in their coffers, are stuck with having to pay the $157,000 this special election will cost.
Additionally, Darth Greg wanted to have this special election so a Republican would win and get to run as an incumbent. The Darth isn’t concerned with good government; he’s concerned with sounding like James Earl Jones.
So, there ya got it. They are both ten maturity points away from being socially acceptable in second grade. That’s how Republicans fight.
And, bygawd, Jabba the Farenthold is not going to pay back the $84,000 he owes us for sexually harassing his clerk because his lawyer said not to. Oh yeah, Buddy? Well, my hairdresser said I should kick your ass back to Washington, DeeCee, and dump you in the Potomac River.
Thanks to Pia for the heads up.
No, no! Please don’t bring that fool back here! We have enough problem people from foreign states already. Besides, he would pollute the Potomac–just as it’s getting cleaner.
1Jammie boy needs a large helping of public scorn and vocal shaming at the next all-you-can-eat-buffet and pajama modeling show. Maybe he should take his buddy Jeff Watts…
2Well goodness!
What guy *doesn’t* want to sound like James Earl Jones?
3Old Fart, good question: “What guy *doesn’t* want to sound like James Earl Jones?”
Answer: Probably any sane person who isn’t a snacilbupeR and/or confused by movie persona and informercial guy.
Meanwhile, Jammie in a Jam persists in the narrative that his attorney is telling him not to pay. Moral to that story: don’t hire attorneys who graduated from right wing nutjob universities or Trump U. Seriously, dude. Pay the money and move on.
4No, no! Don’t bring him back to DC. Bring him over to Great Falls, in Virginia. It’s not all that far away, and the current is swift and he’s, um. . .substantial. He’ll go right over.
5Jama the Hutt.
6What a crap lawyer! His advice was to not pay the $84,000? Jammie Boy needs to find himself one of those classy attorneys who make disbursements FOR their clients. No muss, no fuss. But don’t forget to wash the sheets.
7That Other Jean, in al due respect, be careful of “what you wish for.” Realizing what logjams or beavers can do to a creek, there is no potential engineering answer for what a load of that size would do.
And, Ms. Juanita Jean Yerownself, if you can please restrain Thelma from estimating if Ducky Boy can still fit into his old pajamas. There are some images that the eye bleach budget cannot cover.
8http://1980s-90sgifs.tumblr.com/post/110845645915
9http://1980s-90sgifs.tumblr.com/post/110845645915
10If Ducky Boy is going to be chucked into the Potomac– and really, don’t you have rivers in Texas? we’re just getting this one cleaned up– please do so just upstream of Little Falls, a.k.a. “the drowning machine.” If he gets caught and rolled, he’ll stay under for quite a while.
11I’d dump them both in the Ptomaine River.
12Well, if the people of Alderaan voted for the two of them, I don’t feel too sorry. My Christian charity genes have weakened since Trump got elected.
13Since I got nuthin, I want to repost a couple of comments from a previous story about Wichita County commissioner and nacilbupeR, Jeff Watts that hold some weight here as well.
First, this delightful post by Papa,
“Carrying that double width will get him a table with a funeral director.” (In you mind, here the brief drum roll and strike on the high hat.)
And then this, by Lunargent,
“Jeeze – when this guy goes to buy a new suit, does he need a tailor, or a building permit?”
Yeah Jammie Dodger the salon has your number too.
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