Jade Helm Was A Russian Job
Mot of y’all will remember Jade Helm, a army training operation that every damn nut job in Texas was convinced was a cover for Obama coming to take our guns and put us all in re-education camps. They stormed city council meets and went to the State Capitol to scream and holler.
It was the end of the damn world, y’all.
They even got governor Greg Abbott to send out the Texas State Guard to monitor the army to make sure they didn’t sneak around stealing guns.
Oh Good Lord. Even the day after the training was over and everything was okay, the nuts said it would have happened if they hadn’t been watching. And, you know, scaring crap outta each other and emptying the food shelves of Walmart.
Well, this is gonna make you so happy.
Austin, TX – Yesterday, Former NSA and CIA Director Michael Hayden revealed that Jade Helm 15 was a test-run of the first Russian disinformation campaign.
The former NSA and CIA Director reveals that Russia engaged in information warfare to convince Texans that Jade Helm 15 was an Obama planned military exercise to round up political dissidents. The story drew massive controversy as Texas Governor Abbott lent credence to conspiracy theorists by calling in the Texas National Guard to monitor our own U.S. Military.
Y’all, I personally know some of the idiots who were convinced that Obama was gonna use the military to take our guns. And, for your entertainment value, the internet machine is filled with pictures.
They got pranked. By Russia.
And the head dope? Texas Republican Governor Greg Abbott.
We’re gonna enjoy this.
Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.
“the head dope? Texas Republican Governor Greg Abbott.”
Not that proof is necessary because he provides more than necessary, but yes, this is nice.
1The idiots and fools who believed Jade Helm 15 was real WON’T believe that they were duped by the Russians.
2There’s no dumber animal than a conservative Texan.
3I started chortling last night when I heard the Ghouliani story and haven’t stopped. (Well, I did sleep some.) But I just love this story! Texas Dems started right away rubbing Abbott’s face in it. But just like when you’re house training the dog, I doubt it’ll teach the guv anything at ‘tal.
4Once the Russians figured out easy it was to fool a governor, they no doubt thought, hey, a presidential race should be a piece of cake.
First, let’s see if we can get them to wear goofy hats…
5A Russian disinformation campaign? That’s almost too good to be true, it’s such a gift to Texas Democrats. C’mon Texas, you’re better than this! Vote the idiots out!
6If the Russians had some proto-social media back in the 1960’s, they could have gotten that group of dolts to chant:
Better Red than dead! Better Red than dead! (wait, is that right? let me check Uncle Floyd on my Bell Telephone, operator please…)
Yep, that’s right. Better Red…
7And the wingnuts all responded in lockstep (because that’s how they roll): FAKE NEWS!
8“It’s easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled.”
(Frequently attributed to Twain, there’s no evidence he ever said or wrote it.)
45’s minions
WILL
*NOT*
CARE.
They have their own little tune to dance with, and it isn’t the one that allows a return-of-reality party. Faux Corp. has done it’s job, and it has been hijacked by a gleeful Putin…
9Such a target rich environment…
Is “head dope” conceptually similar to “giant shrimp” or am I misinterpreting one or the other or both?
RE: “…put us all in re-education camps…” For some Texans, those who voted for Spanky Drumpf or A-butt or Handsome pRick Perry, EDUCATION would be a d*mn good start. Please soon…
RE: “… coming to take our guns …” CLEARLY for some Texans this is a dy-no-mite idea. After assessing an inmate’s criminal history and current charges, Texas jails label an inmate Assaultive. In the jails in which I have personally worked, this label never goes away. On subsequent incarcerations, the label follows along with other demographics like height and eye color. These people should lose their firearms the moment they commit assaultive offenses. If a subsequent trial returns a finding of not guilty the court could order law enforcement to make the firearms available for return. If the defendant pleads nolo or is found guilty the firearms should be destroyed along with firearms taken in as evidence but never claimed by their rightful owners.
10I HATE my PC today.
After assessing an inmate’s criminal history and current charges, Texas jails CAN/should label an inmate Assaultive.
11I’ve always wondered how this kind of sh*t get started (apologizes to your Mamma).
12And I can just imagine those Russians sitting around stoned, trying to see who could come up with the most absurd story that Texans would believe. Kinda like a Russian version of The Onion’s writers room.
13The winner was the guy who said “Wait a minute, I read somewhere that Wal-Mart is closing some stores. Let’s get it out that Obama’s deep state is gonna dig massive underground prison camps for gun owners and republicans. That would be epic.”
Except in Russian, of course.
And the wing nuts will never believe this. They will blame this “cover up” on Hillary or Obama or both.
14Just watched Michael Hayden on the PBS Newshour, he was asked (among other things) about how he thinks Putin views Comrade Donnei, as an “asset” or what?
Hayden, our former top spook, responded that when thinking of this relationship (multiple times), he usually thought of a Russian word (which I didn’t write down and couldn’t even pronounce) that fit how Putin regarded Trump: ‘a word meaning “useful idiot” ‘, said with a wry grin.
Suggest y’all catch a rebroadcast of the Newshour this evening to see it (or DVR it), the Hayden interview starts about 20 minutes into the hour (yes, he’s humping a book, like Comey; I want to read Mueller’s book when all this crap settles out).
Most PBS stations rerun the Newshour at least two times on one of their subchannels later on (my local station first airs it on channel 9.1 at 6PM, then at 7PM on channel 9.2, then once or twice again later on/overnight).
Just push the damned buttons, put us out of our misery…
15I’m damned tired of watching ‘news media’ types on the mainstream networks (OTA) handling Trump, GOPervs, and minions with kid gloves. If -any- Democrats were pulling even 10% of the shit these Rethugs do day in and day out, the howling on TV, radio, and in print about it could be heard on Uranus. Rethuglikans? Mostly crickets and softballs.
My favorite comment from the JafrvHelm archive remains the wit who observed that the easy way to round up all the gun nuts in Texas would be to post s sign saying “Clearance Sale – 50% off all ammunition.
16Damn – I knew I should have voted for Costello!
17Texas is goverened by idiots. And the majority of voters who continue to vote them into office are embraced in their cloth of idiocy. Just the way it has been, is, and probably will be in the future. I moved here from Colorado, but I sure as poopies can no longer afford to remove back to my home state….. So. It goes….
18Mike Huber:
19As funny as that is, talking to some of those RWNJ’s is about as useful a conversation as Who’s on First. Only much less amusing than nauseating.
So the Russians fooled a lot of Texans including Gov. Abbott…next question is, who are they actually connected with. Like, you know, with financial strings?
I know who didn’t want to answer any questions about possible Russian intervention in the election, back in the fall of 2016…Senator Cornyn. Because Russians weren’t a threat anymore, they wanted to be our friends, they were just upset with Obama and Hillary, we had nothing to worry about with the Russians…etc.
20I refer you to the picture shown. Is that nosepicker in the middle left examining his most recent discovery?
21“Just watched Michael Hayden on the PBS Newshour, he was asked (among other things) about how he thinks Putin views Comrade Donnei, as an “asset” or what?” makes me immediately think of “liquidating an asset”. Thanks, Sandridge.
22Jade Helm? Wasn’t that the porn star that trump didn’t pay after not having sex with her?
23i’d like to know what the woman in the photo with the Bush t-shirt and the smug look on her face thinks about this.
24