It’s The Challenge of the Year
Okay, the kids over at Political Wire have given us a heads up on who is running for President of the United States by their upcoming books.
January 13: American Dreams: Restoring Economic Opportunity for Everyone by Sen. Marco Rubio
January 20: God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy by Mike Huckabee
February 3: You Have a Brain: A Teen’s Guide to T.H.I.N.K. B.I.G. by Ben Carson M.D.
May 5: Times of Challenge, Moments of Grace by Carly Fiorina
May 12: Untitled by Sen. Ted Cruz
Oh y’all. Ted Cruz’s book doesn’t have a title. I feel is our ordained duty to give that sucker a name.
Ready, Set, Go!
Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.
Appearing Manly, A Dream Unfilled.
1Untitled, Unhinged and Unimpressive.
2“Verbal Vomit”
3Daffy: A Recollection of Me, My Family and My Voters
4“Memoirs of a Micrognath.”
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003306.htm
5Cruz Control; When I Am Elected God’s Righteous King
6“Momma, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Me” by Ted Cruz
7The Mouth That Roared. A Cracked Fairy Tale…
8Carnival Cruz: My Cuban Canadian Journey
9“My Struggle (to Change the Constitution and Let Immigrants Become POTUS)”
10Paisley nightmares –
The life and disappointments of Teddy Cruz
Just saying……
11When Windmills Attack
12The moving story of a Junior Senator who saved the universe from non-existent threats.
“LOOK AT ME!”
“I Am Amazing, And You’re Not!”
“Ted Cruz’ Excellent Adventure from Cuba to Canada to Freedom!”
“How I Learned To Bribe A Border Guard”‘
“My CRAZY Dad”
“Jesus Isn’t Coming Back, But I’m Here!”
“Delusions Of Grandeur and Other Mental Health Issues”
“The Human Zoo: Congress”
“Bibles, Books and Bathrobes: My Days At Harvard”
Shall I go on?
13Loon
14Casa Blanka
All the Koch’s Men
The Bad, the Bad, and the Ugly
One Lives in the Cuckoo’s Nest
15The Benefits of Good Listening – To Me
16by Ted Cruz
Delusions of My Father.
17“Mad, Bad & Dangerous to know.”
18“Breaking From The Past: How To Get The Government We Deserve.”
19If you’re gonna write an autobiographical manifesto what better title to coopt than My Struggle (Mein Kampf). Sure it has been used famously before but that author is dead and of another generation of nationalism worshippers. I see no problems there.
Or … To Kill an Economy, about the Tea Party’s economic platform
Or … All Quiet on the Tea Front, about the days following the 2016 election
Or … A Tale of Two Teds, Ted’s multiple personalities and bi-polarness
Or … The Lord of the Things, Ted’s acquisition of things to assuage his spiritual emptiness
Or … The Little Prince, self-explanatory!
Or … He: A History of Failure, with apologies to Ursula Andress and H Rider Haggard.
20ME, ME, ME!
21Intellectually & Spiritually Constipated, Ted Cruz
22Atlas Laughed
23“How Crazy Are You? Crazy enough to vote Cruz?”
That’s all I have.
24I had a suggestion, but gabberflasted tripled it.
25“Because God Said So”
26How Joseph McCarthy’s Sperm Entered my Uterus, by Mama Cruz (A Cautionary Tale)
27I think Lorraine in Spring has a winner in her line-up … they are all excellent suggestions!!
28Otto. It reads better in the original German, no?
29The Grinch Stole America: Filibustering to Dr. Seuss
30Obama is Kenyan but I’m American
31Cruzing to America: Why Immigration Is Okay When We Do It.
32“The Greatness of Me” Forward by Glenn Beck.
33Aye, it gets lost in translation slightly, dachipster.
Hey Juanita Jean, you gonna call a winner on this one?
34All I can say is, he has a lot of nerve (as usual) to offer to produce a book, like the kind printed on paper and rewritten a dozen times and advertised and mistakes found and corrected and laws found that keep him from selling it (oh, I forgot, he isn’t self publishing) and when he does he only makes $8.49 per book plus shipping.
They ain’t no titles I kin think of thet y’all hadn’t already topped. How can we UNmarket his book?
35“Rebel Without A Clue”
“Always Wrong, Never Silent”
36I gotta throw this in somewhere. Anyone heard of FREE ENERGY party? Take a look. Great ideas, some rather strange but heck. My opinion: not enough to win a major election. If you know anything about it let me know. Sounds suspicious to me esp since guy who cornered me was very vague. Is it the Greens? Libertarians? ??? Koch bros. undercutting national stuff? Ah. Ted Cruz. Nah, he would never hang out with these guys. He’d have to cooperate.
Free Energy Party
37http://www.freeenergyparty.org/
We are asking loyal Democrats and Republicans to boycott their parties in 2016 and vote for the FEP. This is the only hope for saving your party for the future, …
“When I pontificate, you can see all my fillings.”
38Is that Louie’s (or Cruz’s) nickname?
39I Wrote A Book: Maybe Someday I’ll Read One
40“Dreams of a Narcissist” by Ted Cruz. Thanks Juanita. This is fun!
41Cruzin’ for a Bruisin – Why I want to be spanked by the American people.
42Green Eggs and Ham: A New Interpretation
The Far Out Side
Unhinged: Me and My Dad
43“King of the Koch Suckers” by Ted Cruz
44Otto – I cant. Don’t make me.
45“A Layman’s Guide to the Internet and Net Neutrality” by Sen. Ted Cruz
46“How Stupid Are You?” by Ted Cruz
47True Lies:
The story of Texas and Ted Cruz
The Ted Cruz Story:
48Megalomania run amok
The Idiot’s Guide to Ted Cruz
How the universe should look as explained by a delusional, right wing, presidential wanna be.
God Loves ME, Not sure about you!
The Ted Cruz story
Deep in the Heart of Crazy
Ted Cruz and the Republicans of Texas
The Wizard of Nuts
Texas Republicans and the rise of Conservative right wing crazy people. By Ted Cruz
The Bible
Reinterpreted by conservative Republican, Ted Cruz
The New Constitution of the United States for a Christan Nation Under God.
49Dedicated to the people of the US who are white, ChristiAn, not gay, good Republicans who carry guns and are conservative to the core.
By Ted Cruz
I happen to have it, on good authority, that Ted Cruz’ forthcoming book will have one of the following as a title:
“The A-B-Cs of Dual Citizenship”
“The Key to Pissing Off Everyone in the Senate in Only One Year”
“Shut It Down!, a Nihilist’s Guide to Brinksmanship”
It’s one of them, I swear….
50