It’s That Time IMPORTANT UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM
Here I am, hat in hand.
I’m here with Glen Maxey asking you once again to donate to send Ballot By Mail applications to Texas voters over the age of 65. There are small counties in Texas where voting in person means a long drive and facing a prissy election official who sleeps in a Donald Trump tee-shirt just to piss you off.
Grandma and Grandpa need you to send them a vote by mail application. $100 bucks will put an application in 420 senior mail boxes. $50 gets 210. $25 gets 100. Adopt a whole rural county for $50 bucks!
You donate here and you know exactly what you get. There is no overhead. There is no waste and it’s all done by volunteers. Your $25 gets 100 ballot my mail applications mailed to seniors in Texas. That’s the best bargain you’re gonna get this entire election season.
If you had rather mail a check, send it to:
Glen Maxey
PO Box 116
Austin, Texas 78767
Click here and let’s get this sucker done.
Here are the counties that need adopting. Pick one (or more) and make a comment that you’ve done a Texas County Ballot By Mail Rescue!
| Reagan | 5 | $2.10 |
| Armstrong | 6 | $2.52 |
| Sherman | 6 | $2.52 |
| Loving | 6 | $2.52 |
| Oldham | 7 | $2.94 |
| Ochiltree | 8 | $3.36 |
| Hemphill | 9 | $3.78 |
| Borden | 11 | $4.62 |
| Hartley | 11 | $4.62 |
| Kimble | 15 | $6.30 |
| Shackelford | 15 | $6.30 |
| Lipscomb | 18 | $7.56 |
| Cochran | 19 | $7.98 |
| Real | 20 | $8.40 |
| Irion | 22 | $9.24 |
| Briscoe | 24 | $10.08 |
| McMullen | 24 | $10.08 |
| Menard | 25 | $10.50 |
| Wheeler | 25 | $10.50 |
| Motley | 28 | $11.76 |
| Dallam | 28 | $11.76 |
| Edwards | 29 | $12.18 |
| Dickens | 32 | $13.44 |
| Martin | 32 | $13.44 |
| Mills | 34 | $14.28 |
| Yoakum | 34 | $14.28 |
| Collingsworth | 36 | $15.12 |
| Coke | 36 | $15.12 |
| San Saba | 37 | $15.54 |
| Parmer | 40 | $16.80 |
| Carson | 41 | $17.22 |
| Kenedy | 41 | $17.22 |
| Cottle | 44 | $18.48 |
| Donley | 44 | $18.48 |
| Concho | 45 | $18.90 |
| Somervell | 49 | $20.58 |
| Garza | 50 | $21.00 |
| Jack | 52 | $21.84 |
| Kent | 53 | $22.26 |
| Childress | 56 | $23.52 |
| Callahan | 58 | $24.36 |
| Baylor | 58 | $24.36 |
| Bailey | 62 | $26.04 |
| Winkler | 63 | $26.46 |
| Moore | 67 | $28.14 |
| Archer | 68 | $28.56 |
| Hamilton | 70 | $29.40 |
| Knox | 71 | $29.82 |
| Mason | 71 | $29.82 |
| Sutton | 76 | $31.92 |
| Clay | 81 | $34.02 |
| Crane | 81 | $34.02 |
| Foard | 82 | $34.44 |
| Gaines | 83 | $34.86 |
| Schleicher | 83 | $34.86 |
| Stephens | 86 | $36.12 |
| Coleman | 87 | $36.54 |
| Gray | 91 | $38.22 |
| Rains | 91 | $38.22 |
| Hall | 92 | $38.64 |
| Floyd | 93 | $39.06 |
| Hutchinson | 93 | $39.06 |
| Franklin | 94 | $39.48 |
| Montague | 97 | $40.74 |
| Lynn | 97 | $40.74 |
| McCulloch | 98 | $41.16 |
| Runnels | 101 | $42.42 |
| Terrell | 103 | $43.26 |
| Scurry | 109 | $45.78 |
| Andrews | 112 | $47.04 |
| Stonewall | 121 | $50.82 |
| Hockley | 126 | $52.92 |
| Eastland | 127 | $53.34 |
| Hardeman | 129 | $54.18 |
| Hudspeth | 137 | $57.54 |
| Young | 145 | $60.90 |
| Castro | 149 | $62.58 |
| Leon | 153 | $64.26 |
| Sabine | 153 | $64.26 |
| Upton | 153 | $64.26 |
| Terry | 168 | $70.56 |
| Blanco | 169 | $70.98 |
| Erath | 170 | $71.40 |
| Mitchell | 171 | $71.82 |
| Deaf Smith | 172 | $72.24 |
| Comanche | 174 | $73.08 |
| Lamb | 180 | $75.60 |
| Madison | 181 | $76.02 |
| Brown | 187 | $78.54 |
| Jeff Davis | 205 | $86.10 |
| Haskell | 223 | $93.66 |
| Lavaca | 225 | $94.50 |
| Bandera | 234 | $98.28 |
| Culberson | 238 | $99.96 |
| Live Oak | 241 | $101.22 |
| Austin | 243 | $102.06 |
| Crosby | 244 | $102.48 |
| Cooke | 245 | $102.90 |
| Wilbarger | 245 | $102.90 |
| Wise | 268 | $112.56 |
| Palo Pinto | 269 | $112.98 |
| Swisher | 269 | $112.98 |
| Tyler | 271 | $113.82 |
| Bosque | 272 | $114.24 |
| Delta | 273 | $114.66 |
| Jackson | 277 | $116.34 |
| Jones | 277 | $116.34 |
| Kinney | 278 | $116.76 |
| Dawson | 284 | $119.28 |
| Lampasas | 286 | $120.12 |
| Crockett | 294 | $123.48 |
| De Witt | 299 | $125.58 |
| Fannin | 307 | $128.94 |
| Trinity | 311 | $130.62 |
| Llano | 314 | $131.88 |
| Goliad | 321 | $134.82 |
| Howard | 324 | $136.08 |
Thank you, thank you, thank you. With your help, we’ll flip Texas!
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
Honey, So many Republicans are jumping ship that Celine Dion’s going to sing the theme song.
So here’s the deal: We are having a lottery on “When Will Donald Trump Resign Off The Republican Ticket?” The lottery is open to any who donates to the cause – even $2.10 for poor little Reagan County where’s there’s only 5 Democrats over the age of 65 and you should feel real sorry for them, dammit.
From now on, post that you’ve donated and what date you pick between now and election day that Trump will withdraw. If you’ve already posted, repost with the date of your choosing.
First Prize: a Donald Trump tie.
Second Prize: two Donald Trump ties.
First prize may be exchanged for a tee-shirt I will order for you have have delivered to your front door from this joint.
There ain’t no second prize so go for the gold, Honey!
Thanks to Charles for the good idea.