It’s Highly Likely That Ted Cruz is Talking About Me
I have mentioned before that I am a woman of faith. Ted Cruz says that isn’t true and would like to take me to task about it.
“Today’s Democratic Party has decided there is no room for Christians in today’s Democratic Party,” he said at the Iowa Faith and Freedom Coalition summit in Waukee, Iowa.
“There is a liberal fascism that is going after Christian believers,” the 2016 GOP presidential candidate continued.
I have to admit that my God is real, real, big. Far too big to dance on the head on a pin like Ted Cruz’s God.
And I have a question. What the hell is liberal fascism? And how would that work? Aren’t those two things kinda like opposite?
True story: a guy here in town just hates me. Seriously hates me. I’ve never really completely understood why and the really sad part is that I frankly don’t care enough to find out. So one day I run into him at the grocery store on the paper products aisle. He looks at me and says, “Fascist.”
Okay, so I stop and smile that sweet smile of mine and say, “No, Darlin’, you’ve got your names mixed up. You’re the fascist. I’m the socialist.” See, he didn’t know what the hell fascist meant. He just knew it was a bad thing and probably from France.
His witty comeback was, “Whatever.”
So I put some paper plates in my basket. By the coffee aisle, he notices that I have a sign tied to the front of my cart made from a paper plate, a marker I had in my purse, and a twisty I cut open with my pocket knife. The sign says, “Darrell McCoy has a small fascist.”
Little spittle things formed at the edges of his mouth and and he cussed a blue streak before storming out of the store and informing the manager that there was a crazy woman on aisle 9. By the time the manger got there, the sign was gone and the manager asked if I had seen anything unusual. “Yeah, a drunk guy talking to himself,” I said with a wrinkled brow.
Don’t mess with me. I am fresh out of clucks. I have not one cluck to give.
You could have explained that, no, you were a *fashionista* — but your method worked pretty well too.
1Poor old McCoy started a battle of wits, not remembering he was unarmed.
2Oh Juanita, you shouldn’t mess with the poor challenged republicans. It might become so much fun you’ll have to start a blog or something to make fun of them on a wider scale– as there are so many of them.
Wink.
3there is a woman in West that takes her religion very seriously..one day while in grocery store she grabbed my arm with a death grip and asked me if I had found Jesus..I slapped my forehead and said, damn, is he lost again?..I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was my turn to watch him…all I can say is you Christians sure have a problem with keeping up with your deity…she was spitting and sputtering like an old ford..not a happy camper..I on the other hand laughed my way thru the store and went home still laughing.
4JJ, I luv yew!
5Hah hah hah!
6As a liberal, I have not declared war on Christians, conservatives or Koch brothers. I’ve got nothing against creepy duck codgers or cretinous draft dodgers. I don’t care if you have a straight marriage, gay marriage, plural marriage, open marriage or ex-marriage. I don’t care what you take into your body, or how it enters: liquor, drugs, tar, nicotine, carbs, calories, caffeine, someone else or Santorum.
What I won’t abide, what I will fight, deride, eschew, lasso and drag kicking and screaming into the disinfecting light of day is this: oppression in the name of God, hypocrisy in the disguise of rectitude, injustice on behalf of monied interests, and the apartheid of phony victimhood.
Ted Cruz’s “religion” is a perversion of the higher ideals found in all faiths: feeding the hungry, comforting prisoners, healing the sick, caring for the young, supporting the old, and recognizing, validating and living the beauty of love in all its forms.
The religious persecution that the early settlers to this country fled was the persecution of their religion by other so-called Christians. By Conservatives. By statists in both the religious (i.e. Church of ENGLAND) and economic (e.g. the East India Company) spheres.
Thus Cruz: A single belief structure mandated for all, with zero oversight of an out-of-control industrial oligarchy, sprinkled with state-supported oppression of fringe groups, glorified with a jingoistic nationalism, fueled by non-unionized labor, tinged with persecution of Semitic religionists as an existential threat, capped by an earnest desire to usher in 1000 years of peace and prosperity under a messianic cult figure.
And WE’RE the fascists?
7Juanita Jean, you are indeed a special lady!
8JJ, you have more fun at the grocery store than I ever did! When my kids were very, very young and I took them grocery shopping with me, the minute I turned around to get something off a shelf or out of a freezer, they were taking off their clothes!
Good for you! We get the occasional crazy here. Mostly they will unwittingly blab something they heard on Hate radio or Hate tv. The minute you start with, “OMG, you didn’t get the latest memo, did you” and start listing all the good things Obama has done, they literally fade into the woodwork. Cousin Bessie found Jesus and kept him in one place by practicing blatant Matthew 25 even if it meant going to the Mafia to get warm blankets for the poor during the winter. That was decades ago! Miss her. Sigh.
9It is strange how the Republicans seem to throw out terms they know nothing about. They threaten each other with liberal sharia law, while mandating legislation based on their faith. They call Obama a fascist and Nazi when they are the ones chasing out anyone different or dissenting. They demonize what two consenting adults do in private while turning a blind eye to what a priest does to a kid in his rectory. Basically the Republicans have not said one bad thing about anyone else that they don’t do themselves and then some.
10Also, as a Cuban and Canadian, Ted Cruz is part Communist part Socialist himself.
Susan DuQuesnay Bankston — 1
11Religious Idiot Nutjobs — 0
Way to go, J.J. The paper plate ploy was ingenious. The more often we liberals confront those “little” fascists the better.
12The Repugnicants strategy of hate and fear has been winning over the uninformed voters of this country far too long. Humor is a great place to start and we all know true Republican’ts don’t have a sense of humor no how.
Wow. Great stories.
13I admit, my God, one of love, mercy and justice, is not like his, but only God can decide who isn’t and is a Christian. Were I him, I’d be very careful about making decisions for God. Fire and brimstone will hurt.
14Juanita you made my day. I had a good laugh from reading your post. Thanks so much.
15If you hear something egregiously wrong and/or stupid in America, look around. Ted Cruz is somewhere near you.
16There’s a really good essay at: which addresses this very subject. Take a minute to read it and you’ll see that the self-righteous right are whistling past the grave yard. They’re scared, and they’re scaring themselves, and now we know why.
The essay is entitled: Take That, Christian Right — Americans Go to Church About As Much As Godless Europeans
17America is not a Christian nation. We’re a secular nation that suffers a small but vocal minority of theocrats.
Years ago, I saw a ruthless converter working a crowd, stealing people’s fun, and I could tell that he was coming my way. For once, I had time to plan a reply. When he asked, “Have you been born again?” I answered, “No, I haven’t. I was born right the first time. I was born a Presbyterian.” It actually shut him TFU. He went away.
18“I have to admit that my God is real, real, big. Far too big to dance on the head on a pin like Ted Cruz’s God.
And I have a question.”
I have a question too JJ. Does Ted Cruz’s God really dance on Ted Cruz’s head? Cause I’ll pay $5 cash to see that! If it’s all closeup camera shots of course.
19Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
A few years ago here in good ole liberal, well-educated Minneapolis, I was called a fascist. The young woman riding in the car next to me had apparently read my liberal bumper stickers. When the car stopped beside me she stuck her head out the window and screamed Fascist!” at the top of her lungs. Then the light changed and she was gone before I could explain to her that’s I am a Socialist while she is the Fascist.
They really don’t have a clue.
20Someone please tell Ted Cruz that HE DOES NOT SPEAK FOR DEMOCRATS AND HE SHOULD SHUT UP ABOUT IT.
21daChipster: EPIC!
22Miss Juanita, you take the cake!
23@Katie Johnsonius, we feel your pain!
My whole life these Bible thumpers have jumped in my face and screamed “Have you found Jesus????” In my sarcastic teens I finally screamed back, “Didn’t know the dude was lost.” It stopped that one in his tracks. Oddly enough it has mostly worked in the same circumstance since. These guys just don’t learn that fast, I think.
24He’s using verbiage like “liberal fascist” to head off Sarah Palin’s challenge. At least he’s proven beyond any doubt that Princeton students don’t have to read any essays by George Orwell.
25You rock!
26I need to find out where you shop. I was at the HEB today and nothing remotely amusing happened.
27I’ll just say that I am very Christian and very Catholic and that I’m not a liberal in spite of my faith. I’m a liberal because of it. I love our new pope and notice how much conservatives hate him. He speaks of loving your neighbor and feeding the poor. They can’t stand that. I honestly don’t believe Jesus was a political animal. He’d likely have simply gone out and helped people today in lieu of fighting for legislation or what not, but it baffles me how anyone can watch his public ministry and come away thinking Christianity is about conservatism. Old Testament sure.
28ROFL JJ, you are such a treasure!
29And what are the chances that Texas will re-elect Ted to the Senate?
30I can just see it. LMAO :))
31Thanks I needed that!
So, according to Ted Cruz, “Today’s Democratic Party has decided blah, blah, blah.”
Conservatives love to make statements about what I think, or why I think it, what Democrats think, why atheists don’t believe in god, etc. The list goes on and on.
They are always making statements about what is going on inside my own head. And they are always wrong. Why can’t they just ask if they want my opinion?
Granted, they would just lie and put words in my mouth anyway.
32What’s this,no mention of the great American thinkerer, Doughbob Loadpants?!! Y’all need to read up!
Liberal Fascism by Jonah Goldberg (no link and you can’t make me)
Well done,JJ!
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