Okay, there’s this conservative think tank (which seems like an oxymoron) in Dallas called the National Center for Policy Analysis (NCPA). It is run by a 68 year old guy named John Goodman, but not the famous John Goodman.  This one is only semi-famous.  He thought up the Republican plan to counteract Obamacare and basically keeps Texas Republicans riled up enough to send money to Republicans.  He is paid $587,000 a year to think.  But not wisely.

John got ousted for “sexual misconduct and breach of fiduciary duty.”

Of course you want to know the back story.  You know there’s gotta be a great backstory.  It’s Republicans.  It’s money.  It’s power.  There’s gotta be some perverted hoochy koochy involved and this story does not disappoint.

The Players:

The Plot:

The NCPA hired a part time clerk named Sherri Collins from a temp agency without doing a background check on her.  Come to find out a tad too late, she “had multiple brushes with the law for theft, assault and criminal mischief.”  Then last June she assaulted her current boyfriend with a fake plant.  In my mind, that’s just kinda dumb.  Fake plants rarely make good weapons and I’ve never known anyone who had to go to an emergency room with a silk spathiphyllum protruding from any part of their torso.  However, I suspect if that does happen, it will happen in Texas.

Anyway, the minute Sherri arrives she catches the eye of John Goodman.  In 2011, things got weird between the two.  A former employee says,“He would rub her leg. She would smile. It seemed like two people in a relationship.”  You know, I have the same relationship with my dog.  I only said that to let you know that this could be a platonic thing.  It could be.  It wasn’t.

In 2012, John divorced his wife.

By 2013, however, things had gone sour enough between the pair that an apparent physical confrontation erupted between them in the California hotel room. Goodman reportedly choked Collins in the course of a violent argument that left the hotel room “torn up.”

You know what happens next, right?  Sherri gets a big promotion.  She went from a temporary clerk to director of Human Relations, which is kinda funny if you think about it.  See what he did there?  Relations?  Human?  Yeah, which is why I brought up the whole dog thing in the first place.

Next, someone points out that Sherri might be good at a certain kind of relations, but business ain’t one of them.  She is accused by other employees of being “hostile, combative, and disrespectful.”

Trying to get rid of her was not easy.  Sherri is not the kind of woman who goes away quietly.  She blows the top off the place and both of them get fired by the board of director.  She’s hired lawyers so now all this Republican money is going to pay writ twits.

See, there’s always a happy ending.

Thanks to Deb B. for the heads up.