It Was Her Christian Duty To Shoot That Bitch
Okay, I’m gonna take you to West Virginia today to see Christian in Action. Honey, the devil is loose and on the prowl at the New Life Apostolic Church in Oak Hill, West Virginia.
I need to let you know that this happened on May 11th, but news is slow getting out of West Virginia because … well, probably because they operate under the 1955 regulatory information act or something.
So, here’s the deal. A long-simmering intellectual disagreement ensued between the wife of the pastor and the wife of the youth pastor. Apparently the trigger was something about a tee-shirt that the youth minister’s wife was wearing.
Now, not that I want you to take sides in this argument, but this is minister Earl Toney and his wife Melinda. Melinda is the Annie Oakley of fundamentalist religion. I just want you to know her if you see her. So you can duck.
So, while this tee-shirt argument was going on and the husbands were trying to get the wife to call down, Melinda just had all she could take and went out to the car to get her pistol. I think what she had in mind was for the Youth Minister’s wife, Lori Haywood, to get to see Jesus first.
Earl decided to go see if he could go pray with his wife in the parking lot and get the damn gun away from her. So right there in front of God and Sweet Jesus, a physical altercation began between Earl and Melinda. There was an “accidental” gun shot.
The bullet didn’t hit anyone because the parking lot was empty. So, three of the Christians went home that day and Melinda was toted off to the jailhouse for reckless endangerment.
Thanks to Craig for the heads up.
The prayers were wrong: they should have been for her hair.
1I’m with Linda, the scariest thing about this story isn’t the handgun, it’s the big hair. Forget an assault weapon ban; let’s have a big hair ban. There’s no telling what she is storing in that hair, but it’s a certainty she isn’t keeping a brain or common sense under it.
2Since this *is* a beauty saloon (ok, salon), maybe someone can tell me: what is that horizontal line stretched across her forehead? The attachment point for that woodland animal perched on top of her head? The seam where hubby hinged open her head and scooped out whatever rancid soup was sloshing around? Or something less frightening that beauticians know about but us cranky old guys don’t?
3Another entry in the NRA’s “an armed society is a polite society” files…
Somehow, allowing folks with anger management issues to have easy access to firearms doesn’t make me feel safer.
4The Surly Professor @3: I think that’s a headband.
I want to know what the t-shirt said.
My theory is that it said “Dump Trump” or similar and Melinda took exception.
5What did the tee shirt say? Or was it just too damn tight? Does the Apostolic Church have a New Testament translation that says something along the lines of “if you see the straw that will break thy camel’s back when it push, push, pushes at the eye of a needle, shooteth thou the camel?”
We don’t need a psychiatrist’s report, we need a photo of the tee shirt.
6Heh! Wimmin! Nearly as bad as men – hoodathunkit?
7She’ll try to get off by claiming the fumes from her hairspray damaged her brain and she couldn’t help herself
8I think it’s a pom pom on her head or something possibly scarier. How does one “style” their hair to get it to do that?
9I am seeing a Real Pastor’s Housewives TV show from this. You see the Good Lord works in mysterious ways his wonders. Or something. Anyway, I don’t watch “the electric TV” but I hear tell there are shows with similarly inclined (afflicted??) women folks who gather and . . . . and . . . . hell, I don’t know what but as a premise I think this idea has legs.
10Bank on it, these are the people [and it’s not just Melinda of the Big Hair] who clutch their pearls and faint dead away when they hear about gang members gunning each other down for wearing the wrong color shoes.
Because the gangs aren’t arguing about what Jesus would do or who Jesus loves [and hates] while they’re about it. And we KNOW that’s what makes all the difference, right?
11AK Lynne @9:
12Nah. I’m guessing it’s a live creature of some sort. Maybe a stoat? Or a badger.
Now that texas gun laws permit guns in churches if she was in Texas she wouldn’t have had to go out to her car to get a gun she could have done her quick draw mcgraw imitation and shot her oppenent right there in the meeting.
New state motto
Texas – on the cutting edge of enableing murder.
13More West Virginia: 14 percent of babies are born with opioid addiction.
14https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/07/opinion/sunday/babies-opioid-addiction-west-virginia.html
christANULs shooting at each other! The only down side is that they miss!
15Juanita Jean, just how long has it been since you offered this hair do in the salon? I think that is one problem with these “Christians” – their hair is sucking out their brains.
16Oh yeah, that was once a living, furry creature. If you look closely to the left, you can make out his pointy little black nose; and near the top, slightly to the right, you can see an ear. I think the line across her forehead is what keeps that thing on her head. Maybe it was rabid, and it bit her before she killed it. Dunno.
I too want to know what the t-shirt said.
17Preys the Lawd and pass the ammo… WWJS, Who Would Jeebus Shoot?
18Sure hope Ms Melinda hasn’t ‘multiplied’ yet, she just missed neutering her hubby in the struggle over her gun, pity.
Certainly wasn’t an “accidental discharge”, no such thing.
Anybody think that she’ll lose her ‘concealed carry license’ and/or do slammer time? Me neither [WV, preacher’s wife, white/Anglo, xtian, ‘pillar’ of the community, etc].
Not incredible. Kinda sorta expected from these “Christians “ nowadays. But, what the heck is on her forehead?
19I snorted coffee up my nose when I read the dust-up was attributed to an “…intellectual disagreement….”
20What would Jesus do?
21I just realized she is channeling Charles II.https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=Charles+II#
22I blame video games.
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