So, you go to Russia to talk about the Boston bombing.  Who would you send?

The kickboxer who knows more than most Republicans

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, a California Republican who led the six-member delegation, described discussions with Russian parliament members and security officials as productive. Some of the meetings, he said, were made possible by American actor Steven Seagal.

Yep, that Steve Seagal, the maker of the best kick boxing movies ever to grace the big screen and serial sexual harasser.

Rohrabacher thanked Seagal for arranging the meetings so they could bypass the US Embassy and the State Department because, after all, those people know diddle squat about kickboxing.

Not surprisingly, on this trip Republicans heard what they wanted to hear and Democrats heard what was said.

Rep. Steve King said Russian security officials told the delegation they believed that Tsarnaev and his mother had been radicalized before moving to the United States in 2003. “I suspect he was raised to do what he did,” said King, a Republican from Iowa.

His account of the meeting at the FSB, the successor to the Soviet-era KGB, was disputed by Rep. Steven Cohen, a Tennessee Democrat, who said he understood that the radicalization took place much later, when the family was living in Boston.

Yeah, but if what Cohen heard is true, you can’t blame the commies for this and – all kickboxing aside – that was the whole purpose of the trip being arranged outside normal channels.

The best part of the trip is that Steven Seagal wanted to take them to Chechnya, but Cohen refused to go because of Ramzan Kadyrov, Head of the Chechen Republic, a weird guy who the Kremlin adores.  Kadyrov has been seen in some wild hoochy parties, has approved of honor killings on the basis that wives are the property of their husbands and has participated in rape, kidnapping, massive torture and murder.  Seagal, of course, loves him because that’s the exact plot of every Steven Seagal movie.

“All these accusations are thrown around,” said Seagal, who was given a lavish welcome in Kadyrov’s palace. “Is there any evidence? Has he been indicted?”

Yeah well, dude, Stalin was never indicted either.

I read the article twice but there appears to be no mention of Seagal kicking anybody so, at least to me, this diplomatic mission was a complete failure.

Send Dennis Rodman next time. He’s good at this stuff.