It Just Got Real Personal
Okay, so this Ted Cruz thing just got personal.
I know everybody is picking on Ted Cruz, from his college friends saying he’s a complete jerk to Dana Milbank in the Washington Post calling him nasty.
Oh, Honey, he’s worst than all that. He’s done picked on me, personally.
I came home last night and there’s a letter from U.S. Senator Ted Cruz in my mailbox. Plus, oh great manna from heaven, there’s a “check enclosed.”
A damn check. From Ted Cruz.
Anyway, I figured that Ted sent me money. Wouldn’t you? I mean, it says it right there.
Now, why Ted Cruz would be sending out checks like bread on the waters to Democrats, I dunno.
But, wonders never cease, so …
Of course I opened the damn envelope.
Well, sum-of-a-damn-sumbitch. Look at all this crap.
But, oh my goodness, there’s a check for $45.
It took me a full 15 seconds from being excited to fully and totally believing that Ted Cruz is so full of caca del toro that we need to name a disease after him. You know, the Cruz Virus: you don’t get sick but you sure get totally pissed off.
Oh sure, it’s a check. Made out to Ted Cruz.
I mailed it back. I wrote “Big Check Enclosed” on front. Enclosed was a $.02 check made out to me.
Admit it, you’d do the same thing.
And …
Speaking of checks, thank you to those who sent them. You will get a proper thank you note after the election. For those who want to help Hazel hire some help for an enormous literature drop she has planned for next weekend, yeah this is a gratuitous plug.
JJ – The check is in the mail to Hazel. Thank you for all you do!
1I always open these GOPicky mailings and return them in their postage paid envelopes. Makes work for my favorite agency: the USPS!!
Notice that detesTED sent this to the man in the house assuming that the wimmon folk don’t need to worry their purty little heads about politics or high finance.
2It’s a wonder Ted didn’t claim you would be “in violation” if you didn’t give him some money. The weasel.
3For some reason (my voter registration?) I never receive any fund raising requests from the RKlan, but I would delight in mailing them back as you have done. I might, however, be tempTED to scrawl something obscene on it, so maybe it’s just as well.
4I could ‘warm’ up to the topic with despicable rodent, but why, when a picture will suffice:
https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nT41ceXkTRQ/VrVJsDwLg_I/AAAAAAABZVo/GscCJdt4q9w/s640/2%2Bdavid%2Bhorsey.jpg
5If the R’s send me anything with a pre-paid envelope, I always mail it back with information from the Friends Committee on National Legislation enclosed. I figure they could benefit from the Quaker perspective on peacebuilding, pentagon spending, climate change, incarceration, racial justice, and so on. Maybe it will have an impact on some low-paid mail-opening staff person, you never know.
Sadly, the R’s now seem to have figured out that I’m a lost cause, though it did take them quite a few years. But I’m happy to share Quaker literature with Democrats, too, as some of them could benefit.
6JJ, you sent too much. You should have had your hubby cut a penny in half, taped it down, and mailed that to him.
7That’s what our Social Security will look like under a President Cruz.
8We’ll get an envelope that says “Check Enclosed” asking us for money to pay for his invasion of Cuba. For Daddy. Like George W, Iraq, and George H.W.
Sounds like he did some extra studying at the Karl Rove school of nasty, unethical campaign tactics. I’m sure he got an A+
9Whichever nacilpubeR wins their nomination, Cruz is out in front in the Dirty Tricks category so far, and may be building a lead no one else can close. He’s the one who implied that Iowans didn’t need to vote for Carson because he’d dropped out.
10The sad thing is, when Trump and Cruz are defeated, guess who is next in line? Marco! That is not a great comfort.
11I’d have attached the label to a big package of bricks. Make them pay the postage.
12He said right out in front of God and everyone that he’s in favor of doing whatever it takes to get people to vote….
13Good for you, Laurel! I love FCNL.
14Everyone hates Ted:
http://crooksandliars.com/cltv/2016/02/bill-maher-republicans-release-attack
15Did you send one of your own actual personal checks? With all your banking info on it? Hope not…
16How to reply to this kind of mailing:
1. Take standard piece of paper, make big ‘check’ mark on it in black marker, fold up like a letter, insert in return envelope.
2. Like JJ, write “Check Enclosed” on outside of envelope. Drop in mailbox. Smile and whistle as you return to house.
Enjoy.
17PKM … love that video!
JAKvirginia … Love that idea!!
18Laughing, JAKvirginia. And if everyone hates Cruz so much, why do they vote for him? A friend in NY says the GOP will NOT let him be on their ballot. What do you think?
19PKM, I loved the CROOKS AND LIARS….
20What a jackass
21Rhea says:
February 6, 2016 at 12:57 pm
Whichever nacilpubeR wins their nomination, Cruz is out in front in the Dirty Tricks category so far…
Rhea and y’all, don’t forget that Teddy Ooze snuck into his Senate election win by a whole lotta financial tricks in paying for his very first run for office. A major illegality (yet to be prosecuted) was a $1.5million+ ‘loan’ from the ‘investment’ (hint, hint) bank that detesTed’s wife work(s/ed) for (Goldman-Sachs, the prime “vampire squid” outfit)).
22Living here, I watched his political career start from nothing to somehow aim for and win a US Senate seat; usually a plum prize for a long serving pol who works their way up the ladder (although HRC and others have done it too, but Hilary did serve in an unelected political capacity for a long while, earning her stripes/bars IMO).
The whole thing was surprising, eye-opening, and scary to see. This SOB has scared the chit outta me ever since, what with the ‘hidden/under the radar’ theocratic Dominionist goals he and his handlers have.
Absolutely the most dangerous threat our nation ever had (well, after practically any of the other clowncar creeps), IMO (because the threat is from within, driven by RELIGION, and thereby insidious, coercive, and pervasive if ever released here– history is replete with examples).
I feel like I learned a bit from this article about why this guy is creepy – his brain is disconnected from his heart, perhaps. In more scientific terms:
“Neurologist explains why it’s hard to look at Ted Cruz’s creepy ‘unsettling’ face”
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/02/neurologist-explains-why-its-hard-to-look-at-ted-cruzs-creepy-unsettling-face/
23Uh…isn’t that check illegal? Is a Superpac sending them out and then saying the donation came from you (if you send it back)? Something smells worse than 3-day-old fish left out in the sun.
24Sister Artemis, good one! Folks that article is a must read. Too many good quips to just bring back a few to share.
😀 Teddie’s college roommate is receiving hate mail for not having smothered Teddie in his sleep back in 1988. That one I HAD to share. Read and enjoy the rest of the article.
25I once worked at a radio station in Mobile, Alabama. We had a radio preacher on Sunday mornings. He would come in, pick up his mail and if it looked like check or money he would open it. Otherwise he just tossed it in the trash. We set him up. Partially burned one with part of a five dollar bill in it and showed it to him. He opened every letter every week after that.
26Ain’t just his creepy cara, Sister Artemis, detesTed is nasty to his core.
What’s been crackin’ me up, is that this is a Puke you never saw in public in anything except a $6000+ suit*.
Come corn n’ cows Iowa and sleazzammbammma’am, here’s Creepid waltzing around in a brand spankin’ new pair of Cabelas bluejeans, a fancy new belt (but not a TX style one), with a friggin’ flannel shirt to boot (didn’t see his footgear, probably shined up barnboots).
* (oh yeah, I never even thought of stratospheric clothing until a certain wedding and I ‘needed’ a new suit (a fitted $1600 RL job, -have a look at the Ralph Lauren website, man, they even had $24,000 sport jackets-; that’s more than I paid for either of my first two houses (not inflation-adjusted though))
27Oozy Croozy’s college buddies didn’t really care for the Ooze either. “Before he was a spectacularly disliked senator, trying to leverage his colleagues’ disdain into “outsider” status, he was a comically unpopular college student.”
And “I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone. I would rather pick somebody from the phone book.”
The Jezebel story is here:
http://goo.gl/YmVYIb
Reading these stories about the Oozy one is one of the few bright spots of the snacilbupeR clown car.
28I got the same thing today. I wanted to send it back, but I don’t want to waste a stamp since he couldn’t even cover the postage. He bought mailing lists from The Daily Caller, because I’m even getting emails from him.
29My usually apolitical cynical son informed me today that he had seen a video via his computer about Cruz. Result: it was probably an over-honest bio of Cruz as now son is even more apolitical and cynical.
30Just add it to your list of scams and write them and tell them that the check is in the mail, but you wrote it to Hillary.
31Mark Schlemmer & Laurel – I always include pages from Sierra Club magazines (without any identifying information) in their postage-paid return envelopes…and I make sure it’s over 2 ounces, so they have to pay even more to receive it…especially when their mailings come to my late mama.
32The R’s have gotten the Ds to send me surveys anymore, even though I am registered R to cost them as much $ as I can. They figured me out too.
I voted for Eldridge Cleaver (against Pete Wilson) in CA Gov primary; can’t beat that.
But the best part is those really slick surveys. They get real nasty with those; “Do you believe in Muslim Obama’s Plan to Eat Your Children?”
They get every ounce of material they sent, back in the return envelope, including the envelope. No time wasted in even trying to respond – they will never look at anything but your check – but they paid for that slick mailer, postage to here and postage right back to them.
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