by Primo Encarnación

Oh, everyone is agog over the viral video showing Chris Christie taking a courageous stand on drug treatment. Before you start thinking Chris Christie has shown his softer side, and his sob story about his mother is just about the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen, and really shows him to best advantage, just remember the story of the scorpion and the frog.

(about 8 minutes in) “I watched her as a kid growing up she tried everything she could to quit: she tried the gum, she tried the patches yadda yadda yadda…”

Oh, boo-frickin-hoo, you liar:

Chris Christie born to smoking mom: 1963
Chris Christie turns 18: 1981
Gum not available until the 80s
Patch not available until the 90s

With Christie, as with all these evil klowns, the lie isn’t a bug, it’s a feature. Whaddya know! A Con cons Cons again! He can’t help it, he’s a scorpion: his entire nature is to sting; he doesn’t care whom.

Update:  Christie’s “pro-life for life” schtick apparently doesn’t extend to actual, you know, people.   What does he think really about addicts?  Let ’em starve.

UPDATED AGAIN BREAKING NEWS:  I honestly have not seen this reported anywhere else but here! The name of Christie’s dead friend appears to be Guy Thomas Lytle, late of West Orange, New Jersey.  Evidence to follow.

Evidence:  I found this article from May, 2014, where Christie appears to describe the friend the first time.  Christie says he had attended his funeral three weeks earlier. So looking back a few weeks in April, 2014, I located an obituary from Saturday, April 5, 2014 including the mention of 3 daughters.  Christie:  “Year and a half ago on a Sunday morning…”  His attorney profile discloses details which match Christie’s description: Seton Hall, cum laude, ’87;  Partner.  I don’t know that it was ever meant to be so all-fired a secret, but I found it curious that we had never seen the man’s name before.

Note:  between the first time he told the story and now, the amount of time poor Mr. Lytle’s “odyssey” lasted went from 8 years to 10 years. (listen to the story on the njspotlight site, it has richer details).  I don’t doubt hat the whole thing happened.  I just doubt Christie’s sincerity.  He was your best bud, your families vacationed together.  The wife was your family doctor.  And you can’t recall whether it was 8 years or 10?  Or does 10 make a better story?

Anyway, that was a WMDBS breaking news, exclusive.