In Case You Missed It
My own personal congressvarmint, Pete Olson – the man who does diddle squat and does that without making a sound – is retiring.
Two years ago, this safe GOP seat, once occupied by Tom DeLay, saw a 5 point victory margin due to changing demographics. Pete may be an idiot, but he knows shrinking numbers.
Troy Nehls
His replacement on the GOP ticket will likely be Sheriff Troy Nehls, who is about 5′ 4″ and is armed with a degree from Liberty University. He cannot say the words President Obama so he calls him, “that clown in Washington.” He is to the right of Donald Trump but with far less education. He also has strange blonde hair. However, we expect the Republicans to have a blood letting in their primary.
Democrats will likely nominate Sri Preston Kulkarni to herald our ticket. Sri was our nominee two years ago and turned out Asian voters like we’ve never seen before.
I guess he thinks he’s a 4-Star General instead of a County Sheriff with that uniform.
1But then Republicans usually have delusions of grandeur.
I wouldn’t show this photo to to the Rump and minions at the WH, because they’ll all want one to wear to feel special.
2Normally I would be keeping a list of “retirees” but I have a feeling that there will be a tsunami of such this time around and hopefully, a cyborg will do all the data collecting!
3What’s with all the stars on his shoulders? He’s nothing more than the sheriff from Podunk Texas!
4Fred Farklestone @4, Troy Nehls is not the sheriff from Podunk, but rather from Fort Bend County, a large and diverse suburb of Houston. What he IS, is very fond of publicity. He loves to get on the teevee, and recently commissioned life-size cardboard cutouts of himself, which he placed in a few areas of our neighborhood, supposedly as a warning to people not to speed. It was pretty disconcerting at first, because I’d be driving down the street and think, “what’s that guy doing standing right on the edge of the street”, only to realize it was Cardboard Troy.
5Jill Ann@5: that kind of life-sized cutout lends itself readily to hijinks and purposes the Sheriff likely would frown upon. Years ago a similarly self-advertising politico up north here found his being dressed up in various ways (sombrero and poncho, or a French maid oufit with fishnet stockings, or Leatherface and Freddy Kruger masks) and repositioned in places that were more commonly associated with wide stance U.S. Senators.
And when he got his Sheriff buddies to keep an eye on the cutouts to protect them, the deputies found themselves being reported to cops as lurkers, loiterers, and peeping Tom perverts. Although he ended up picking up and discarding the remaining ones, some enterprising college students retained on and made copies to continue the fun.
If it’s a cut-out of a Sheriff wearing a uniform, the number of amusing possibilites grow exponentially. Not that I would ever suggest one of us here would do such a thing. In my experience, just pass the idea on to high school and college students, and they’ll take it from there. And Liberty University graduates have zero sense of humor, especially when it comes to their own self-image.
6“Sheriff Troy Nehls, who is about 5′ 4″ and is armed with a degree from Liberty University.”
so he’s both physically short (not that there’s anything wrong with that, Napoleon was a short guy), but intellectually bereft. so very, very much to troll on there!
7Whoever that photo is looks like an ‘Evil Tintin’.
8What is with the hair in front? Does he crimp it or what? And it looks like it’s about a two inch square of crimped hair right in the middle of the top of his head with baldness all around it. Maybe he should just shave it off. It couldn’t look any worse.
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