I’m Hunting a Lawyer, Y’all.

August 16, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Somebody in Mississippi stole my bidness plan.

(Click the little one to get the big one.)

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Thanks to Mary for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “I’m Hunting a Lawyer, Y’all.”


  1. Wa Skeptic says:

    It’s a franchise!

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  2. So you can get all purty for yer weddin’ – and then be able to post bail, when the reception gets out of hand.

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  3. Marge Wood says:

    That’s funny. Reminds me of deregulation of electricity production when they said folks could have shops like JOE’S BAR AND GRILL AND ELECTRICITY.
    I really think you oughta enlarge that purty pitcher and print it out and hang it in the dining room, Juanita.

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  4. Sam in San Antonio says:

    Just need a delivery room so the groom can get out of jail, the blushing bride can get her big hair done, and have the baby after the ceremony.

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  5. HairyNation says:

    Old, old Johnny Carson joke about a bidness in the San Fernando Valley..
    “Real Estate and Transmission Exchange”

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  6. Elizabeth Moon says:

    RayS: All grooms should be inspected prior to the wedding to determine if they’ve been properly taught how to clean off the nether regions…at least in Scotland. Probably by the bride’s male relatives. If not, scrub ’em off with a hog-cleaning brush (the kind used to clean hogs up for a livestock show, y’know) and I’ll bet they’d learn pretty fast.

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  7. I see we have various ideas about whether the bail bond action will be needed before or after the ceremony… or perhaps both.

    Was that Scottish groom flashing the crowd? I think most of us sit on the back of the skirt or kilt when we sit down, rather than flipping the back up, especially if commando underneath.

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  8. Very Proper Lady: “What do you Scots wear beneath your kilts?”
    Scot: “I’m a mon o’ few words, ma’am. Gie me your han.”

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  9. oldymoldy says:

    When I was in high school in the mid 60s I had a friend that lived in a small desert town a few miles up the road. His Aunt Juanita owned a liquor store/bar/card room called “Juanita’s Liquors”. We used to do clean up there early mornings before school. Occasionally we’d have a little nip just to prove what men we were.
    Mr. Google tells me it’s there although by a different name. Guess Juanita gave up the ghost a long time back.

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  10. I thought about preaching and radiator repair in my post-retirement reality: The Church of All Worlds and Radiator Repair Shop.

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  11. oldymoldy says:

    Well, who knows, maybe she up’n moved off to Mississippi! It’s been a long time.

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  12. The lady ask the Scot what was worn under the kilt. Came his reply, “Beneath me Kilt nothing is worn. Tis all in perfect working order.”

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  13. “What’s worn beneath the kilt?”
    “Och, nothin’s worn. It’s all in pairfect workin’ order.”

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  14. Marge Wood says:

    Or how about adding a Payday Loan to the bidness? and Massage Parlor. They’d have to buy the store next door and expand, though.

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  15. UmptyDump says:

    Bridal salons have a spotty record of failing, closing their doors and leaving brides-to-be in the lurch without their dresses. If this store goes belly up, JJ, be careful that it doesn’t get confused with you!

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  16. UmptyDump says:

    @Marge: Hmm … Massage parlor … an opportunity for brides to earn their dresses through the barter system …

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  17. Better call Saul.

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  18. Oh geeeezzz! This doesn’t even come close to imitation so I really don’t think its a compliment! The concept, however, of multi-function has been growing up here in the Socialist Republic of Northern Virginia as in gift/card shops + florist + liquor store with a primary focus on vino. And I think that at least one of these outfits is owned by a Justice of the Peace.

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  19. Rufus Firefly says:

    Add wedding chapel and you have a vertical integration business. Buy wedding dress and tux, get spiffy for the wedding, get hitched, bail spouse out of jail after domestic dispute.

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  20. Coprolite says:

    I don’t know what the Scots wear beneath their kilts, but my Scooby-Doo boxer shorts are very comfortable.

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  21. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Micr, my I suggest a sign for your retirement establishment?

    Religion and Radiators: best place to take a leak!

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  22. What does a Scot wear below his kilt? His boots.

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  23. daChipster says:

    “I’m hunting a lawyer, y’all”

    Didja steal that line from Dick Cheney?

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  24. Elise Von Holten says:

    LOL, daChipster!

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  25. @pkm

    Oh myyyyy!

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