Iguana Poop
Two things have collided in my head.
1. Texas teacher are underpaid and overworked. They are also being fired in record numbers.
2. You could lock the doors on every school district administration building in Texas, send everyone who works there home, and Texas classrooms would go on just fine, maybe better. No, probably better. Oh hell, a whole lot better.
New Dallas ISD Superintendent Mike Miles has set annual salaries for four chiefs in his cabinet — with one in particular raising eyebrows.
Chief of communications Jennifer Sprague will have a base pay of $185,000 — making more than Dallas Police Chief David Brown and the city’s top communications officer, Frank Librio. And on a national scale, it’s more than White House spokesman Jay Carney’s $172,200 salary.
Sprague currently makes $86,652 as public information officer of Harrison School District 2 in Colorado Springs, where Miles is superintendent. Miles officially starts in DISD on July 1, but is working in the district on a part-time basis. He has spent part of his time building his staff.
The four chief salaries under Miles range from $182,000 to $225,000.
And guess what – he still has 3 chief positions to fill. Let’s see, 7 times an average of $200,000 is … a goldarn helluva lot of damn money, by gawd.
They even have “a newly created position of chief of talent and innovation, [who will] will get $182,000.” What’s this guy gonna do, play the banjo in the hall and write experimental slam poetry?
Now here’s the clincher. You hear Rick Perry whine and moan about overpaid teachers, but do you ever hear him pitch a fit about these “administrators?” No, you do not.
But we have a woman coming from Colorado Springs, doing the same job for an extra $100,000 a year. I want to know if she’s also going to teach AP chemistry and coach the debate team. Hell, for an extra hundred grand, she ought to play linebacker on the football team.
You know what she is being paid $185,000 for right? To cover up administration failures and mistakes. That’s what.
I will tell you a true story.
Our vet, Dr. Joe, is a good family friend. Little Bubba’s pet iguana (Little Bubba was kinda a strange kid) got sick. So we took the iguana to see Dr. Joe. About $100 later, the iguana gets well. Big Bubba is looking over the bill and see that there was a $35 charge for “feces examination.”
About a week later, we run into Dr. Joe at the movie theater. Bubba says, “Hold on there a minute, Doc. You charged me $35 to look at iguana poop?!”
Without missing a beat, Dr. Joe replied, “Tell me, Counselor, what do you charge to look at iguana poop?”
Bubba has never complained about a vet bill since that day.
So, the way I figure it, the communications officer has to look at administration poop all day. Still, I’d do it cheaper than that.
In my heart of hearts, I really, truly believe that firing half the school administrators in Texas and hiring back the teachers would be a good idea.