Iguana Poop

June 06, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Two things have collided in my head.

1.  Texas teacher are underpaid and overworked.  They are also being fired in record numbers.

2.  You could lock the doors on every school district administration building in Texas, send everyone who works there home, and Texas classrooms would go on just fine, maybe better.  No, probably better.  Oh hell, a whole lot better.

Dallas Morning News.

New Dallas ISD Superintendent Mike Miles has set annual salaries for four chiefs in his cabinet — with one in particular raising eyebrows.

Chief of communications Jennifer Sprague will have a base pay of $185,000 — making more than Dallas Police Chief David Brown and the city’s top communications officer, Frank Librio. And on a national scale, it’s more than White House spokesman Jay Carney’s $172,200 salary.

Sprague currently makes $86,652 as public information officer of Harrison School District 2 in Colorado Springs, where Miles is superintendent. Miles officially starts in DISD on July 1, but is working in the district on a part-time basis. He has spent part of his time building his staff.

The four chief salaries under Miles range from $182,000 to $225,000.

And guess what – he still has 3 chief positions to fill.  Let’s see, 7 times an average of $200,000 is … a goldarn helluva lot of damn money, by gawd.

They even have “a newly created position of chief of talent and innovation, [who will] will get $182,000.”  What’s this guy gonna do, play the banjo in the hall and write experimental slam poetry?

Now here’s the clincher.  You hear Rick Perry whine and moan about overpaid teachers, but do you ever hear him pitch a fit about these “administrators?”  No, you do not.

But we have a woman coming from Colorado Springs, doing the same job for an extra $100,000 a year.  I want to know if she’s also going to teach AP chemistry and coach the debate team.  Hell, for an extra hundred grand, she ought to play linebacker on the football team.

You know what she is being paid $185,000 for right?  To cover up administration failures and mistakes.  That’s what.

I will tell you a true story.

Our vet, Dr. Joe, is a good family friend.  Little Bubba’s pet iguana (Little Bubba was kinda a strange kid) got sick.  So we took the iguana to see Dr. Joe.  About $100 later, the iguana gets well.  Big Bubba is looking over the bill and see that there was a $35 charge for “feces examination.”

About a week later, we run into Dr. Joe at the movie theater.   Bubba says, “Hold on there a minute, Doc.  You charged me $35 to look at iguana poop?!”

Without missing a beat, Dr. Joe replied, “Tell me, Counselor, what do you charge to look at iguana poop?”

Bubba has never complained about a vet bill since that day.

So, the way I figure it, the communications officer has to look at administration poop all day.  Still, I’d do it cheaper than that.

In my heart of hearts, I really, truly believe that firing half the school administrators in Texas and hiring back the teachers would be a good idea.

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0 Comments to “Iguana Poop”


  1. Right! Start the firings with that new superintendent.

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  2. Gramiam says:

    Seems like there is iguana poop in piles all over this country.

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  3. daChipster says:

    I don’t know what the extra $100k per year is for, and I’m sure she’s extremely qualified to be making more than the White House Press Secretary, but somehow, I knew when I went looking, that she wouldn’t be haggard and careworn by her previous work under Supt. Miles.

    In fact, she looks bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, bless her heart.

    Call me cynical.

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  4. That is some serious disparity in salaries between the chiefs and the indians. Makes me wonder what the superintendent is paid? Me thinks it is too much if this is his best decision-making in action.

    Delete 2 chiefs and redistribute those savings for programs that directly enhance the kids, and either redistribute their function over rest of chiefs and the superintendent or offer to have teachers volunteer covering some of those duties for bonus salary.

    Hell, fire all the chiefs and distribute the salary as bonuses to volunteers amid the teachers for covering those duties. I bet that would be a very effective restructuring of that budget.

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  5. Gramiam says:

    daChipster, up in Anchorage, Alaska there is a gal like this one who makes beaucoup bucks as a “party planner” for Mayor Sullivan. Same difference methinks

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  6. There’s something in the wind y’all.

    JJ agrees with Peyton Wolcott, the darling of the Eagle Forum who lives up in Marble Falls. Get them together and this school mess will be cleared up in 6 months.

    Peyton wants the districts to post their check registers online so folks will know where the money goes. She has been very successful in Texas and the nation. Klein ISD still will not. Been asking for years.

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  7. As the saying goes, “You can’t make this stuff up”

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  8. The question is not “what” the new Chief of Communications will be doing, it’s “who” she will be doing for that big salary.

    Does the Dallas ISD School Board have something to say about this?

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  9. Bud Malone says:

    As an ex Director of a state college/university system, I could write a paragraph or two about the ills of the compensation methodology. A word will suffice – disgusting.

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  10. Susan the Neon Nurse says:

    I’m sorry we Colorado Dems are passing one of our problem children on to you guys. I’ve actually met him, when he was running for one of Colorado’s US Senate seats. He’s an interesting guy, I have to say. You would have thought that a guy with so much life experience from good sources would have anticipated some difficulties trying to move from a school supe job to US Senator in one jump, but hey, sometimes dreaming big works….

    The group that kept on after his primary bid didn’t work out is called Be The Change. On the whole they are well-meaning folks, but you usually find them on the ‘WAY more liberal than thou’ side of issues, and if it divides the party or provides the GOP side with stuff to mock us with, well, they don’t mind because they know they’re RIGHT and that’s all they care about.

    Kind of funny that a guy who took his personal slogan from Gandhi has gotten so into the big bucks. But it’s a funny old world, eh?

    http://btc-usa.org/wp3/2012/04/mike-miles-lands-top-job-with-dallas-school-district/

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  11. Nurse Susan, sounds just like the Nader folks to me.

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  12. Cindy D. says:

    JJ,
    Looks like she’s got a pretty expensive highlight job on her hair. Maybe she’s a “high maintenance” woman and need that extra cash to keep up in BIG D.

    With all the problems Dallas ISD has you would think they would be more discrete about stealing the cash.

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  13. I have a student who was thinking of switching from my engineering department to education, but when she realized she’d go from a probable $95k+ first year income to more like a third of that, she settled on engineering.

    Now, if we could take some of that $185k and offer people with her brains a decent career in education, we might not have quite so much need for people to cover up what we don’t do so very well….

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  14. I’m with daChipster and June.

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  15. June,
    I’d say we already know “who”

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  16. Michele says:

    Same thing happened in my district! They increased class sizes and laid-off good teachers, i.e. me! Now this year the crazy superintendent has created six new district admin positions at about 100k a pop. Meanwhile, the teachers left are given one ream of paper each semester for copies. You end up buying your own if you want more, because “good teachers don’t rely on worksheets.”

    Well, yeah, but good teachers do rely on printing out progress reports, field trip info, etc

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  17. Get rid of those 7 parasites and re-hire 30 or more teachers.

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  18. TexasEllen says:

    If these “chiefs” had to spend at least four days per month as substitute teachers (getting an up close perspective on the district) I’d be slightly less repulsed by the big bucks. Right now it looks like they are mostly interested in theirownselves.

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  19. God I love you people!

    I’m a retired teacher and I read this laughing, thinking that the more things change the more they stay the same! Honest to goodness, if it were not so damned sad, it would be funny because the same s**t happens everywhere. Administrators are top heavy (pun intended daChipster) and over paid. Teachers are over worked and underpaid. But most importantly like Mike says perky little things with dubious work related skills always follow their paramours, oops I meant bosses to their next jobs.

    If I had a damn dime for every time…

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  20. Mike, you’re correct; there really is no question in this article. It’s like the married coach who hired his young girlfriend as an assistant. Maybe these two will have a wreck on a motorcyle like the coach, who got fired.

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  21. Mimi Diane says:

    For several years I kept a Mike Royko column on my refrigerator. It asked – Why do you think there are substitute teachers, but you’ve never heard of a substitute administrator? The answer? For the same reason you’ve never heard of an appendix transplant. They’re totally unnecessary.

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  22. BarbinDC says:

    On a more serious note: The Mainstream News had stories this evening about how several municipalities in California were cutting pensions for state/local employees (teachers, police, firefighters). When I was a youngun, the deal was that you worked for fairly low wages in exchange for a secure retirement. The military was based on this idea. Now, not so much. I am just sick at the greed-heads who want to renege on this implicit bargain.

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  23. Susan the Neon Nurse says:

    @Sarah Yep, that’s the type, all right.

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  24. Marge Wood says:

    Let’s go after some iguana poop for our gardens. Y’all are ALL right.

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  25. aggieland liz says:

    Lord y’all, she looks just like one of Murdoch’s Maidens – betcha her retirement could land her at faux noise!!

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  26. MCPO RET says:

    Every teacher in the state of Texas should be knocking on every door in their districts shouting “Vote the B——s OUT!
    Disgraceful Texas Pols!

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  27. Beth Fitzgerald says:

    The new superintendent will also be bringing in their golden parachute from Colorado!

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