If I Could Turn Back Time
Most of you are familiar with Texas Republican Congressfool Dan Crenshaw. He is also know as The Pirate of Rejected Marvel Characters.
Crenshaw is a particular brand of weird, picturing himself as the Jack Ryan of cartoon characters. He cuts commercials where he’s a rambunctious threatener of all things progressive.
Okay, so knowing how much Dan thinks of himself, I stumbled on this and found it to be … uh, not a whole bunch odd.
Knowing how much guys like Dan want to return to their glory days instead of being stuck as a “I get no serious respect” congressman seems attractive.
And being as how Republicans dream of the sublime days of Herbert Hoover, wanting a time machine is certainly frisky inducing.
But here’s my problem. If you rent it, how do you get back? It seems to me that you’d want to take it with you just in case a slight miscalculation ends you up in Pompeii on volcano day. Or in Hitler’s bunker? I mean, it would be no problem socially for Republicans but if I recall correctly and I think I do, things do not end well.
Anyway, I looked it up and Dan spent also $2,500 to rent a DeLorean, which certainly seems like a legitimate campaign expense. I kinda feel certain that we’ll see it in one of his commercials pretty soon.
I think our best hope is that Dan will calculate his trip back in time with all the efficiency of a MAGA administration. We can always hope he’ll end up fighting Grant at the Battle of Shiloh, which oh dear god, would be just ever so fitting.
And you will note that Wesley Hunt is there with Dan; TX-38 was drawn for Hunt. Sadly after many years in TX-07 I’m in that new district. It’s a big red balloon over Tomball with a little string that dangles down to the Galleria area where I live
1He needs to act like a top gun to compensate for his shortcomings- and I don’t mean his eyesight.
2Time Machine?
3Republicans haven’t screwed up enough in the present? Although, I would pay $5 to watch Dan explain to Richard Nixon that a TV reality show character would some day sit at his desk.
“You mean like Monty Hall on Let’s Make A Deal?”
“Yes, but all the doors are goats and stuff.”
Danny Boy ain’t the only one yearning to turn back the hands of time.
This article about how more than two-thirds of present day Rethugs are pining for a return to 1950s ‘Murika pretty well says it all:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/10/27/2131647/-Two-thirds-of-Republicans-are-still-mourning-the-death-of-the-1950s
What gets me is that most of them weren’t even born until way after that era. And I’m fully qualified to comment on it since I was there, what I remember is that the ’50s had good times and bad times, like any other decade. Mostly fond kid memories [~3-14yo/kinder-8th], but yeegads, how much simpler life was back then.
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4Now for an amusing tie-in to the DeLorean reference: I’m supposing that the DeLorean got mentioned because it featured in some old movie about time travel. Well, DeLoreans are noted for their all stainless steel bodies and gull-wing doors, and crap everything else.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DMC_DeLorean
So I just recently bought a gorgeous classic luxury car [today’s equivalent cost= ~$125K+, MSRP was $62K decades ago; like new, 20K miles, literally driven mostly to church by a little old lady], just dripping with stainless, chrome, and gold trim, and options out the wazoo. Kinfolk have dubbed it the ‘pimpmobile’, and want me to will it to them…
— This beootiful vehicle has really wide/tall, mirror-like, flat stainless-chrome rocker panel trim between the wheels [by itself a $995 option, have all the paperwork].
— Well, the barncats have discovered these big ‘mirrors’, and can be found at random times just sitting alongside the car and admiring themselves in those long low mirrors a few inches off the ground, and at just the right angle to amaze the puddytats. I scared the hell out of the barncats when I first realized what they were doing and burst out laughing from forty feet away.
JJ, I read this morning in comments to a blog post (and I might be able to find it again if you want me to) that at least three people reported having their ballots marked for Beto and they were flipped at the last minute to Abbott. I wouldn’t put it past the Repubs to have fixed the machines. Have you heard anything about that? It could explain why McConnell and several others are winning their elections “easily” when polls say they are extremely unpopular.
5Yikes, since John DeLorean is mentioned in this thread, here’s an interesting connection illustrating that tRump really is a bottom-feeding vampire squid.
In his later years, the very talented engineer and auto executive DeLorean drifted into financial difficulties.
DeLorean and his wife owned and lived at their large Bedminster, NJ estate, and were eventually forced to sell it under ‘distressed’ conditions in 2000.
Guess who the vulture was who glided in and feasted on their misfortune?
Of course, it was the Rufous Ratbastard, sucking the lifeblood out of still some other hapless victims.
And now you know yet another piece of the rest of the sordid DJT saga.
And the vermin even recently squeezed more money out of the now-a-T-golf-course property, weaseling tax advantages by burying his ex-wife on the premises [DeLorean is probably at redline rpms].
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_DeLorean#Personal_life
6“In 1999, DeLorean declared personal bankruptcy after fighting some 40 legal cases following the collapse of DeLorean Motor Company.[24] He was forced to sell his 434-acre (176 ha) estate in Bedminster in 2000. Donald Trump bought it and converted it to a golf course.[50][51][52]”
Why DO they wear an eye patch – to make them look tough ?
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