Most of you are familiar with Texas Republican Congressfool Dan Crenshaw. He is also know as The Pirate of Rejected Marvel Characters.

Crenshaw is a particular brand of weird, picturing himself as the Jack Ryan of cartoon characters.  He cuts commercials where he’s a rambunctious threatener of all things progressive.

Okay, so knowing how much Dan thinks of himself, I stumbled on this and found it to be … uh, not a whole bunch odd.

Knowing how much guys like Dan want to return to their glory days instead of being stuck as a “I get no serious respect” congressman seems attractive.

And being as how Republicans dream of the sublime days of Herbert Hoover, wanting a time machine is certainly frisky inducing.

But here’s my problem. If you rent it, how do you get back? It seems to me that you’d want to take it with you just in case a slight miscalculation ends you up in Pompeii on volcano day. Or in Hitler’s bunker? I mean, it would be no problem socially for Republicans but if I recall correctly and I think I do, things do not end well.

Anyway, I looked it up and Dan spent also $2,500 to rent a DeLorean, which certainly seems like a legitimate campaign expense.  I kinda feel certain that we’ll see it in one of his commercials pretty soon.

I think our best hope is that Dan will calculate his trip back in time with all the efficiency of a MAGA administration. We can always hope he’ll end up fighting Grant at the Battle of Shiloh, which oh dear god, would be just ever so fitting.