I Never Have Any Fun

July 06, 2023 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I have a game with several of my girlfriends. When we see another female behaving in outrageous stuff or weird things, our code phrase is, “I never have any fun.”  It is said in a dramatic voice with a slight eye roll.

This all started when a long-time local police officer’s wife chased him down a residential street, shooting at him with his own firearm. She unloaded the weapon on him but missed every damn time.  But, the clincher was that she was mostly barefoot all over when she did it, causing us all to say, “I never have any fun.”

Please meet Laura Olson, 50, a four-time-divorced mother of two.  Olson is the mistress that Texas Attorney General was mattress thrashing with and she is named in the indictment of Paxton because he was using his influence to get her jobs closer to him.

Well, come to find out, Olson has a kind strange taste in men.  She likes bad boys. Not only was she doing the wild thing with Paxton while he was indicted on seven counts of stock fraud, but she was dating a San Antonio councilman who pretty much defines “legal problems.” He’s a mess.

I guess I need to add that neither man would fit the traditional definition of handsome. I guess when you’ve been married four times, you eventually run out of the top picks.

I never have any fun.

 

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0 Comments to “I Never Have Any Fun”


  1. BarbinDC says:

    EWWWWW!!!

    1
  2. slipstream says:

    She seems nice.

    2
  3. chester says:

    Favorite old saying from somewhere: Whole lot of things I never have done, but I never have had too much fun.

    3
  4. Grandma Ada says:

    BarbinDC took the words right out of my mouth – I hope this all comes out in the Senate and we get to see some of them squirm a bit!

    4
  5. Steve from Beaverton says:

    Them are some well traveled lips there.

    5
  6. It takes two to thrash, tango, bare nekked target practice…

    6
  7. chester says:

    To her credit, her four marriages are pretty good indicator that she does not believe in premarital sex. It appears her more recent forays on the dating scene are consistent, as both politicians were married, n’cest pas?

    7
  8. Grandma Ada @ 4,

    Years ago, a midnight romp with a naked stripper in the fountain or an illegitimate child, or fooling around with juvenile females/males, would be enough to get a someone tossed from office. Im not so sure what would get a person booted from office these days.

    8
  9. The Surly Professor says:

    Now, this is what I come to this fine Salon for. Dripping, juicy gossip, followed by folks like Papa to remind me of a name I’d forgotten for 50 years: Fannie Flagg.

    9
  10. Author Peter DeVries wrote “Woman are quite choosy about who they will date, but they will marry almost anyone.”

    10
  11. The Surely Professor @ 9,

    I think you mean Fannie Foxe. https://timeline.com/wilbur-mills-tidal-basin-3c29a8b47ad1

    11
  12. I never have any fun either (really big eye roll). PS: I’m still here. We’ve had a nice period of no wind, the fire has not come closer to me, the crews have been working on the east end fire lines. Here’s hoping they hold, the westerlies are due to pick up. Stay tuned.

    12
  13. Buttermilk Sky says:

    This is the opening chapter of a great novel. Who’s the Texas equivalent of Carl Hiaason?

    13
  14. Malarkey says:

    Bless her heart!

    Do I get to say that now I’ve moved north of the Mason-Dixon line?

    14
  15. Malarkey: Yes, complete with a huge eye roll. I never have any fun either.

    15
  16. Will Wheaten says:

    Okay, I’m kinda old, but is Laura taking a selfie in front of a mirror with her flip phone, or did someone take a picture of Laura taking a picture of herself?

    16
  17. I never have any fun either.

    But that kind of fun never appealed to me.
    I guess Christianity has changed. Adultery is OK now??
    I did not get that message.

    17
  18. Old Fart says:

    I’m sorry, but:

    “I NEVER want to have any of that kind of fun!!!”

    Give me a Law abiding lady *any* day!

    18
  19. Elizabeth2 says:

    Papa, Professor, it makes me think, not about Wilbur Mills, but about John Tower. How did a homely little pipsqueak like that ever get a name as a womanizer?

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  20. Harry Eagar says:

    Same way Henry Kissinger did.

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  21. Elizabeth2 @ 19,

    When they’re that damn homely, they have to pay women for their company, personal services, etc.

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  22. Steve from Beaverton, your comment is my favorite.

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  23. Yup! Fannie Foxe and Wilbur Mills! And the reflecting pool! Damn! I have to scour my brain everytime when that reflecting pool comes to mind or I even drive by it! I never thoght anyone would ever pull off a stunt that would make Fannie and Wilbur’s event look like a tea party!

    23

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