I Need To Say Something About Paula Deen
I need to say something about Paula Deen and this is it.
Screw you, Paula.
Okay, here’s how Paula Deen hurt me personally. All week long I have been hearing commentators on teevee say that using the N word should be expected from “Southern white women of a certain age.” I even heard one say it was “understandable.”
Hell, no. I don’t know where these commentators got that but they need to put it down right now and never touch it again.
I am Paula Deen’s age and I live in the South. I have not used the N word since I was 6 years old (I heard it at school) and my Irish grandma swatted my bottom for saying it. I was told that words like that do not come out of a lady’s mouth and that Jesus loves all the little children — red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight. I was told to say “colored.”
I never said it again. I was 17 years old when Dr. Martin Luther King won the Nobel Peace Prize. So was Paula Deen. So, if she used that word after 1964, shame on her. She knew full well that she should not be saying that.
But now, when people look at me, they think I talk like Paula Deen, but should be forgiven for it based on my age and my birthplace. No.
Paula Deen knew for a damn fact that those words were hurtful and not acceptable. My grandmother, rest her precious soul, would have stomped her said indignantly, “And she calls herself a lady?”
My friend Laura sent me this to read. You will feel far less sympathy for Deen after reading this.
So, Paula, screw you. Not all Southern women of a certain age are a bunch of classless witches.
That’s what I have to say about Paula Deen.
Bless you, Susan and amen! My sweet grandmother was born in Tennessee, in 1894. When anyone asks me who was my favorite teacher, I say ‘Mama’. She would have reacted the same way as your grandmother. She ‘raised me right’, and I hope she is still proud of me. I am a Southern woman of a certain age, too, and I raised my son the way I learned from Mama.
1Agreed 100% – we were never allowed to use the word either. No pass for Paula.
2Different regions, different experiences. West coast raised (Hollywood) and never heard the word, ever while growing up. My Irish/Italian Mother and Russian/Jewish Father used some profanity when “discussing” various topics, pretty tame by comparison to today. Just never heard anything really bad, lead by example I would say.
I read the complaint and deposition and noted that Paula’s “memory” was pretty lax, most every denial was the standard . . . I don’t remember or . . . I can’t recall. But, I guess that is the best defense under the circumstances. She may very well lose the law suit. Think an out of court settlement might be in order.
3I grew up in a white bread town in NE Ohio, with very few black families, and we never said that word either. Never. Do not give this hateful woman a pass. She is no lady, and no representative for the Southern belles, either.
4I agree 150% that there is no excuse for Paula Deen’s crass behavior, and she is guilty of far more than what falls under the “law”.
However, I do take offense at your use of the term “witch”, because most of us pagans/witches would neither talk nor act like Paula Deen.
5I think a lot of women (or men, for that matter) “of a certain age” are and should be insulted by that excuse. We may have grown up in an era where we heard that word on a regular basis, but we managed to develop into human beings with respect for other human beings.
6My parents were both born and reared in Louisiana, so I heard that word many times in my home as I was growing up. But even as a child, I could hear the sneering tone of voice that was used when that horrible word was uttered. It spoke to me of hatred and bigotry, and even though I didn’t even know the meaning of those words, I understood well the nastiness they conveyed. The only time I have ever personally ever used that word was when I told my children, “There is one word that we do not allow to be used in this house, and that word is n_____r. If you DO use it, then God help you.”
7Wow, if you want to see pissed, wander on over to Food Network’s Facebook page. Their wall is infested with bigots. Amazing.
8Bravo! Ultimately, Paula became a victim of her own cluelessness and stupidity. She never saw fit to climb above her deeply imbedded but casually tossed about racism. Sadly, she probably even sought out people who made her comfortable in it. And as far as her age is concerned—-her apologists can take a flying leap.
9THANK you for writing this. I too am around Deen’s age, grew up in the South, and have never used that word. I also have been ranting a version of your post on every website where I read that old Southern women talk like that. Bullshit.
10Thank you, Susan. I grew up in a very bigoted family – I remember my grandmother darn near yanking my hair out when I was about 5 for drinking out of the “colored” water fountain (I thought colored water was going to come out).
That – and many other incidents – made me painfully aware of racism and the damage it can do to others.
My sons – and step-sons – were never allowed to use that word in our house.
Having said all of that, Paula Deen can kiss my big Southern a**!!!! She is wrong and she knew that she was wrong. I don’t buy her bullsh*t.
11I am also a Southern woman of a certain age and that garbage never fit in my mouth, despite by father & his family’s bs. The media insults us all.
I never could figure out Deen’s celebrity.
12I am appalled at giving Paula Deen a pass on her bad behavior due to her “age” and southern upbringing. She’s not that old; she came of age during the Civil Rights Movement. People of that generation do not deserve a pass for casual racism.
I grew up in Texas, too, and am old enough to remember when some white people used the “n-word” as a matter of course. But we didn’t use it in my family and I’m pretty sure that everyone who did use it knew better but figured they could get away with it.
13Thank you JJ. I get tired of people trotting out the old excuse that they might talk like a racist, but they have a good explanation for it. Sorry. The only explanation for why a person talks like a racist, it’s because they are a racist.
Now that said, people can change, but they need to be very, very clear about what they did wrong, how they now understand the implications of their actions, and how they will conduct themselves in the future. Especially when they hear other “non-racist” racists speaking.
14I grew up in N. Illinois and never saw any colored folks in our town but a few across the river would come to the park to the swimming pool … as a kid, I would stare at them! A girl I went to school with and was a friend with actually called me an “N” lover and I had no clue what she was talking about and, of course, said “Am not!” In 1961, after my Mom was killed in a car accident, my Dad sent me to WV to live with my Aunt & Uncle and my Aunt told me “You can go to school with “them” but don’t you dare associate with any of “them” outside of school! Well, Carolyn Thomas was the sweetest girl and her and I use to go out and try selling ads for the school newspaper and we’d go to Woolworth’s and have a soda … I never told my Aunt that I did that! She would not have liked Carolyn because she was one of “them!”
15I never used the N-word and neither did either of my boys … I would have whupped them if they had of.
I have never liked Paula because all of her syrupy y’alls just set my teeth on edge … for me, she will NOT be missed at all!!
Same age, same geography, same opinion.
16Paula Deen is a stereotype. We are not.
Certain media people need to understand that difference and stop talking about us like we are all in the Tea Party or the KKK.
I agree with Susan. I am 63 – NEVER used that term. But then I grew up on Iowa and was 16 when we moved to Texas. Only bigots use that term.
17I read that she’s a diabetic, and foisted that food off to folks who never should have thought it was ok. So besides being all the above, she’s an unrepented, medical liar. Double shame on the Food Network. Sentence is wrong, but you know what I mean!
18(I never watched the show due to all of the above anyway)
I am curious to hear what Anthony Bourdain has to say about all this. He was never a fan of hers , I keep checking his blog but so far nothing. Should be good when it’s posted.
19Here’s what Anthony Bourdain has to say about Paula:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/anthony-bourdain-slams-paula-deen/story?id=15386289
20It’s amazing she was able to get as far as she did passing herself off as some culinary expert. It seems like all she does is add butter to everything.
21The article your friend Laura sent was nothing but a hateful hit piece by a sports writer, I’m sorry.
22That scene in Total Recall (the original) when Arnie’s character is at immigrations on Mars
dressed as a woman
with the robotic head
that he then takes off and throw to the guard and it then explodes and all hell breaks loose.
Yeah, that woman’s face.
23The two HUGE racial comments in the link ‘video taped interview’ are just disgusting!
No passes here! In this day and age, there is no excuse not to know better!
24The link Marcia provided is not any commentary from Anthony Bourdain about the latest bigotry charge against Ms.Deen. It’s a Jan 2012 article about her diabetes. Don’t know if something’s been done on the internet to make a click on Marcia’s link go to a different article than what was originally at that link. I’ve seen it happen before when someone famous is trying to cover up and prevent people from seeing what was written in truth about them.
25I was raised pretty much north of the border. Yeah. That border with the maple leaf flag. Have lived south the M-D LIne for more than 40 years. Never used the N word nor did I ever hear it from a very wide circle of people and my children were taught never to say it. Married a man from bayou country and he also made it law in the house never to say that word. If Paula has to limp along on stereotypes, maybe its time to pack it in, both with the language, the excuses and the heart attack cooking.
26Being young & stupid and choosing to remain ignorant past age 25 are two very different things.
I never liked her but didn’t know why. Guess my instincts were right.
27Went to school in Nashville, TN “58-60”
28Involved with lunch counter sit-in’s, and street protests.
Left the South, returned to civility.
My first reaction to hearing that her racial slurs were due to her being a “white woman of a certain age,” was NO do not pass this off as age b**ch. I too am 66 and I refuse to keep company with you in the gutter.
29I don’t like Paula Deen much for a lot of reasons. The “n” word thing is just the latest.
Her pushing sugary crap at people while she hid her diabetes, was another one.
Another reason is that she’s a phony. Accent is phony, her “culinary” skills are also kinda phony.
The “frosting on the cake” as it were is that she is the face, and spokesperson for one of the most awful companies in this country. Human rights violations. Pollution. Fighting union organization. You name it.
This is an old article, but it explains her relationship with “Smithfield” … and how she kept selling their damned pork, despite the way they treated people.
http://baltimoresnacker.blogspot.com/2007/12/has-paula-deen-sold-her-soul-to-those.html
I’m not surprised at anything that’s happened to her. Everything that goes around comes around.
30Obviously, this is the way she has treated people all her life.
Her teeth always scared me.
31Now that the genie is out of the bottle, even though my cholesterol count is in the 150 range, looks like I’m going to be facing the music and giving up some of my favorite tasty Paula Deen recipes:
* Baked French Toast Casserole using 2 cups of half & half.
* Corn Casserole with one cup of sour cream and a stick of butter.
* Smoky Portobello Soup with a quart of heavy cream and a white roux made with a stick of butter.
* The Lady’s Chicken Noodle Soup with 3/4 cup of heavy cream and one cup of grated Parmesan.
* Country fried steak with a gravy using a quart of whole milk and biscuits made with 3/4 cup of Crisco.
* Mexican Chicken using one can each of cream of cheddar cheese, chicken and mushroom soups, plus 2 cups of shredded Cheddar.
* Low Country Cookies using a total of two sticks of butter.
* Seafood Dip incorporating a half can of cream of shrimp soup and a cup of mayo.
In other words, gotta stop now before they have to call the Roto Rooter man to ream out my arteries.
32Just my humble opinion, of course, but this was straw that broke the camel’s back. The business about her diabetes–and only disclosing it when she had a diabetes drug endorsement deal in hand–appears to have soured a whole lot of people on her. And, were therefore not in the mood to give her another pass on anything.
I’ve been trying very hard to eat a healthy diet. What I need is more people coming up with tasty food that won’t kill me. I already know how to add fat, salt, and sugar to everything. Finding a way to eat in way that promotes good health, that won’t bore you to death, is the real key. Paula Deen is no help there, at all. And, I got over any kind of ethnic joke decades ago. Why didn’t she?
33I couldn’t agree with you more. She’s a disgrace and as a southerner raised in the same culture she was, I am insulted by her attitude.
34Paula Deen’s sins go well beyond saying the N-word and fantasizing about a slave-theme wedding. Her business establishments are hostile workplaces rife with racial discrimination and sexual harrassment. This is not new information. These allegations have been circulating for years and Deen has passed up many opportunities to set things right with her employees. I believe in redemption, but so far I’ve not seen nor heard anything fom Ms. Deen that is worthy of it.
Anthony Bourdain is being quiet through all of this because he hangs out with racists like Ted Nugent.
35Paula Deen’s age is such that she is old enough to know better.
36Dear Umptydump,
37I think gained five pounds just reading your post.
Guess it’s a good thing I never watched an episode of Deen’s show….
During the early 60’s my family used to drive down to Florida for vacation.
I remember going into restaurants with black only bathrooms and water fountains. and not understanding what it meant.
We were never, ever allowed to use racist language.
38Just saw on teevee that Dean has lost her show. Yes, she has defenders but between the lawsuit, Smithfield, her secret diabetic diet and a few other things, it was too much for her sponsors.
Heck, there’s a flood of these cooking shows anyway. None of them are unique any more.
39I grew up in the northeast, working-class neighborhood, in the 1970s. I remember ethnic and racial jokes with all kinds of words, including that one, out in the ‘hood. I didn’t use it at home, and I never called anyone one of those names, but I remember jokes and slang terms.
But I remember letting slip a slang term for something else that included a racial epithet as a teenager, and a teacher heard me. She went up one side of me and down the other, and when she asked me why I would use a word that hurt so many people, the lightbulb went off. Just because I never called anyone that didn’t mean the word itself didn’t cause harm. I didn’t want to hurt anybody. And that was that. No more. And when I learn that something else I thought was harmless isn’t, I work like the dickens to get rid of that one, too.
She’s old enough to know the word hurts people. I get that we can occasionally miss a crumb of something ugly in a corner of our brains when we’re house-cleaning all that garbage out of our heads, but her transgression doesn’t strike me as one of those times. It strikes me as someone who couldn’t be bothered at all.
40When I was a newlywed we lived in beautiful Albuquerque, NM. My Texas grandfather visited us once and said he didn’t like NM – “full of n***ers and Mexkins”. I nearly died of embarrassment. My father, his son had never once make a remark like that, though I am sure her heard it all over the years. My Dad, now 89, learned a lot in his life starting with a good education and the U.S. Navy. If every Texan was like my grandfather I’d say “adios”, happy to see them secede.
41I am also a Southern woman of a certain age but unlike Ms Dean I was raised to treat people with respect. As such, I found the links in the articles suggested by JJ and many of these commenters enlightening and depressing.
I’m going to take exception to one aspect of all of this. In the link to the initial article Mr. Bernstein attacks Dean as a woman and repeatedly comments on her physical appearance. Let’s not give him a pass on either sexism or ageism which, like racism are also ugly but apparently more socially acceptable.
Surely Dean’s attitudes towards people of color and people of different faiths are reprehensible enough that we don’t have to desend to attacking her physical appearance or even her age, such arguments detract from the importance of the root issue – there is no excuse for racism, period. But that’s what Mr Bernstein’s comments did, they left me wondering if her appearance would have been mentioned if she were a man?
As I said, I’m a Southern woman “of a certain age,” so perhaps I’m just overly sensitive to the depiction of any person as an “unattractive woman,” or “ugly on all levels: the woman…”
I guess I just find sexism and ageism to also be ugly, then again one need only look at the actions of the preponderance of the Texas Legislature this week to discover that those isms are alive and well.
42Great link. That Bernstein article was righteous.
43I was born in 1950 in the South. I heard the “N” word throughout my childhood. I was raised by a single mother who was the product of her time and place. We were not so much racist as ignorant. But guess what. We grew up. We learned. We were exposed to different people and different ideas. As a college student in the late 60’s I, like most, became a different person. My brothers and I became hot-headed liberals. We taught our mother. She learned from us. So Paulas’s lame excuses don’t fly. I’m not so concerned with who she was as who she is.
44I am not entirely familiar with Southern etiquette, so can someone help me out?
At what age are ‘Southern white women of a certain age’ required to stop being racist? Fifty-five? Fifty? What is the cut-off?
45The four primary ingredients in her cooking are flour, butterfat, sugar and salt. Why would anyone think this does not equate to stupid?
46LynnN, I’m 69 and had to tell my father in law he would not be permitted to see his pre-school grandsons if he ever used that word in our house again. I’m willing to give a pass to all Southern women who are over 95 and stricken with Alzheimer disease. Everybody else should grow up and join the human race.
47I would love to take anger out on a known racist (The Food Network knew about this for a couple of years at least). Paula Deen got the swift kick so that the facts of what happens off-air are kept from public eye. The real offense is the lack of black employees at the Food Network and other cable channels. Employees are 99% white. Blacks represent 15% of the US population. How about reaching that number in terms of those hired? How about directing public attention at that?
Al Sharpton!! Where are YOU?
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