It seems that the State Legislature of Virginia is looking after their citizens.  A whole lot.

They are voting to protect Virginians from the Mark of the Beast.  “There is to be no 666-ing in Virginia,” Juanita warns all who were pondering doing it.

The House of Delegates is scheduled to vote Wednesday on a bill that would protect Virginians from attempts by employers or insurance companies to implant microchips in their bodies against their will.

It might also save humanity from the antichrist, some supporters think.

“And, as everybody knows,” Juanita informs you, “the devil is mortified of the Virginia state legislature.  Can’t say I blame the devil, being as how I’m like a rabbit in a coyote’s back pocket when it comes to people like this guy,” Juanita says as she points to words she cannot bring herself to read aloud.

David Neff, editor of the magazine Christianity Today, said that some fundamentalist Christians believe that bar codes and implanted microchips could be used by a totalitarian government to control commerce — a sign of the coming end of the world.

“This is part of a larger attempt to constantly read current history in the light of the symbolic language of the Book of Revelation,” he said.

“Now, somebody fix me if I’m wrong about this,” Juanita offers, “but aren’t the Super DeLux Brand Christians rooting for the end times?  Aren’t they looking forward to watching God toss our liberal butts into the fires of hell?”

“You’d think they’d be first in line to get a ringside seat for that!”

And what are those wacky Democrats in Virgina doing while the Republicans are trying to trick the devil?

“We’ve got a $4 billion hole, and we’re spending time on microchips,” said Del. Albert C. Pollard Jr. (D-Northumberland). “At least when Nero fiddled, they got good music.”

“I can dance to that tune,” Juanita grins.