Hawkins, Texas, is in east Texas between the towns of Hoard, Texas and Hideaway, Texas.  I could not make that up.

Here’s the mayor of Hawkins, Texas, standing in front of the sign welcoming you to the city.

I do not believe that the mayor thinks he’s Jesus but I’m not a expert on this subject.  And as far as I know, Jesus is not a member of the Chamber of Commerce.

It seems that the mayor is adamant that this sign is gonna stay, dammit.

But if those sissy librul east coast snotty atheists make him take it down, he says …

A Texas town is heatedly debating what to do with a large sign on public property that reads, “Jesus Welcomes you to Hawkins,” with the town’s mayor this week stating if their sign comes down, so do all signs across the country referencing Superman.

“If you don’t believe that Jesus existed then he would be fiction,” Hawkins mayor Will Rogers told local television station KLTV. “If he’s fiction, and you want to remove his name from everything, then you have to remove every fiction name from across the country. That means we couldn’t say ‘Superman welcomes you to town.’”

Okay, I just have a couple of things to say here.  First, I believe that Jesus existed and is not fiction.  However, I do not think he welcomes you to Hawkins.  And I’m just wondering why God and the Holy Ghost got short shift of this deal.

Second, why the hell would Superman welcome you to Hawkins?  I mean, if you think about it, and you probably shouldn’t, Superman would be even less likely than Jesus to even know where Harkins is or have time to welcome you.

1,320 souls abide in Hawkins.  Maybe we should move that down to 1,318 since we have deduced that neither Jesus or Superman live in Hawkins as previously advertised.

Thanks to Anne for the heads up.