I Love Yew, Texas
Regulars around here know that every so often I bring you stories sent to me by my real life friends Vickie and Cecil from a pretty small town area. Pretty regular they have good front page stories in the Fayette County Record.
But today they hit the Trifecta of Journalist Magic. I’m gonna put the front page here, but you’re gonna have to open it up in another page to read it. Go on. I’ll wait here for you.
Welcome back.
First off, I cannot believe that there is a place called the Lucky Leopard Lounge in Smithville and I have never been there. I also am dubious about it taking a three month investigation to arrest three people for gambling. Honey, this is Texas. Any damn food knows you wait until November 27th when Texas A&M plays LSU and you can arrest a standing room only crowd. You’ll probably get the snot beat out of you but that’s the price you pay for law and order.
Then ya got the Daredevil Mayor of LaGrange (where the actual Best Little Whorehouse in Texas was located) riding in the Lickskillet parade last Saturday. Honey, it takes a daredevil just to be mayor of LaGrange. Vickie, who is far more cultured than I am, explained to me that Lickskillet festivities come from the saying that if you show up late for dinner all that will be left for you is to lick the skillet.
But the reason she sent the newspaper is about the books in schools. A fourth grader’s mom was upset that her daughter brought home a book about LGBTQ because the child didn’t know who LGBTQ means. The mom was sad because the school usurped the opportunity for her to have a sensitive conversation with her child about … well, that. The mom said, “in a world where this is plastered everywhere, I felt like the school library would be a safe place for her.” Safe from what? Ignorance?
And the use of “plastered” doesn’t lend itself to a sensitive conversation.
And then she dives head first into the shallow end of the art world. Last year her daughter came home with an art history book that had nakkid women in it. Nakkid, I tell you. She pitched such a fit that they transferred the book to the high school, where in her words, “I am sure the high school boys are loving it.” And, Mom, maybe even some of the girls. And let’s not forget students who like art.
To his credit, Vickie says the superintendent seemed shocked by it all and the newspaper ran an editorial about the inadvisability of censorship.
By the way, if you’re ever in Fayette, don’t forget to stop at Hruska.
Did she also complain about the statue of David?
1“plastered everywhere… the school library would be a safe place for her.”
A woman who sees LGBTQ everywhere, but instead of wondering how they can simultaneously be in the minority as well as in all places at once, she’d rather put minorities in their place. Which is definitely not the library.
2Plenty of bad things in the Bible.
3re: ” I also am dubious about it taking a three month investigation to arrest three people for gambling.”
Might have taken 3 months to make certain to arrest 3 people WITHOUT arresting a variety of others.
Now, I’m not a lawyer and I don’t know the details of Texas law, but it seems to me that every gambling organization I know about has more than 3 people involved — and that’s before adding in those wagering their money.
Might ask locals for their take on the professional connections between the County Sheriffs and the Smithville Police, and whether the former police chief had any political aspirations, like running for county sheriff.
4JJ,
Tell us more bout those Kolaches…..and which flavors are the favorite??
Thanks for giving me another good reason to visit Texas!
5Hruska was a magat sinator in DC from Nebraska and died in 1999.
6Kids are more aware than we think, probably because many things are no big deal to them. Is the Cottonwood Inn still there? Perhaps mom should go over there, have a cup of coffee and a piece of pie, and get over herself!
7Wow an amazing ‘journalistic Trifecta!’ When I opened it I thought I was reading an old copy of Mad Magazine.
8Lucky Leopard Lounge … lol
The requirement for anybody traveling hwy. 71 to stop at Hruska’s is a mandate I could get behind.
9You gotta love an establishment that clearly identifies the 5 year koache famine of the 90’s as the low point in a history that includes burglary, high speed car chases, shots fired and, well…,fire.
And it sounds to me like that La Grange school board meeting was Ms. Kellen’s unofficial announcement of her run for the school board.
Finding a trump tower caliber escalator in Fayette County proved problematic.
ROFL As parents of two preschoolers who will not be attending public school any time soon, we’d like to give a shout out to “Karen Mom” and all the other anti-vaxxer maskholes and generic Qcumbers in their war on truth. We are not afraid for our sons if they learn about ALL the others whether from a book, compassionate teachers or ourselves. But indeed yes, we do not want them exposed to Karen Mom or her budding little bigot. We’re funny that way – we expect to send our sons to school for an education, not a trip to fact free fantasyland.
10What books students can be required to read has come up in the Virginia gubernatorial race–which ends next Tuesday to the great relief of all in the Greater Washington Metropolitan Area who have had to put up with the TV ads for the better part of SIX MONTHS, even though those of us in DC and Maryland have no say in the matter–involving some poor snowflake who was traumatized after reading Toni Morrison’s “Beloved”. Turns out that he was a senior in HS taking an AP English class in 2013. He is now a lawyer working for the GOP. I’m sure this comes as a surprise to one and all.
11Do you mean to tell me that actual ‘Arteests’ used NEKKID models to paint from? And then they painted them (painted ladies, anyone?) showing that they had no clothes on? What HAS the world been coming to (for the last 400 years)??
12Ormond, you can say that again. Being a Catholic kid I didn’t have much to do with the actual bible, but when my son was in 8th grade I got roped into helping out in his CCD class. They were going to enact some scene or other, and someone picked the story of Lot. But then we turned the page, whooo boy!
13I hereby volunteer my humble self to be a judge in a bake-off competition between Hruska’s Bakery in Ellinger and Naegelin’s Bakery in New Braunfels [or any other notable bakeries, such as Vannie Tilden’s in the Valley].
A thoroughly comprehensive contest of all the baked goods offered.
No greater sacrifice could be expected, no matter how long it takes.
“THE OLDEST BAKERY IN TEXAS, SINCE 1868”
http://naegelins.com/
I’m as unbiased as a Rethuglikan election judge, honest, pure as the driven flour and powdered sugar. [Strudel class must be omitted as none better than Naegelin’s:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strudel ]
.
14Next up, BBQ duel.
Granzin’s BBQ in New Braunfels, versus any and all others. Ready at an instants notice to serve as a judge.
Opinionated Hussy @12, “(for the last 400 years)”
15Newcomers, I’ve seen nekkid pictographs and sculptures dating back thousands of years BC.
Now THAT is so precious! Teenage boys checking out the naked art picture books in their school liberry is right out of the 1950’s. Must be because they’re sick and tired of all the porn they see on their Ipods.
16I always stop at the bakery and I’ve seen rainbow items for sale.
17https://www.wonkette.com/texas-state-rep-gonna-purge-schools-of-books-that-make-white-kids-feel-icky
18Hruska’s Bakery, I hope doesn’t worship at the shrine of mediocrity that ol’ Roman did.
Referring to his support of Nixon’s nominee to the US Supreme Court, Senator Hruska said “Even if he [Carswell] were mediocre, there are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are entitled to a little representation, aren’t they? We can’t have all Brandeises and Frankfurters and Cardozos.”
Roman’s dream court took a while but it has now come to pass.
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