I Love Yew, Florida

February 09, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Only in Florida would you have a drive-by gatoring.

Screen Shot 2016-02-09 at 10.24.38 AMFish and Wildlife Commission officials say 23-year-old Joshua James pulled up for his order and after a server handed over a drink and turned around James reached into the back of his truck and tossed the 3-and-a-half foot gator through the drive-thru window.

The incident report showed a picture of the gator inside the restaurant.

I guess he wanted to biggie-size that.

But justice is swift in Florida —

During his first court appearance Tuesday morning a judge ordered James to stay out of all Wendy’s restaurants, to avoid contact or possession with any animals other than his mother’s dog, to undergo a mental health evaluation and to avoid possessing any weapons. If he fails a random drug and alcohol test his bond will be rescinded. Bond was set at $6,000.

I’m sad to report that his mother’s dog hasn’t been seen since Joshua got mad at the Hello Kitty store at the mall.

Thanks to Sam for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “I Love Yew, Florida”


  1. So assault by alligator is now the benchmark criterion for infringing the otherwise absolute right to any and all weapons for any and all people. Where is the NRA when you need ’em? Next thing you know, the judges will be taking guns away from anyone who just happens to bring a rattlesnake to McDonald’s.

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  2. Apparently, Mrs. James considers her 23 year old “baby” entitled to play dangerous pranks on the unsuspecting sons and daughters of other people without suffering the consequences.
    And the judge must have agreed ’cause Joshua got off with a veritable slap on the wrist.

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  3. So he had a clean record prior to this. Thats mostly where the judge is coming from. However, where was the U.S. Wildlife Service in regards to the treatment of the gator? If they got into this it becomes a federal offense. Then the ‘rents might believe it wasn’t a prank.

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  4. @Laurel

    Alligator assaults are apologized for by the NAA, the National Alligator Association. 🙂

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  5. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Where was the “good” guy with an alligator when this happened?

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  6. Marge Wood says:

    I hope the mama made him do a year’s worth of chores to make up for it….

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  7. Animal cruelty trying to feed an alligator a Wendyburger.

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  8. WHAT AN OUTRAGE AND TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE!!!!
    HIS 2ND AMENDMENT GATOR RIGHTS WERE VIOLATED!!!
    WHAT PART OF ‘KEEP AND BEAR ALLIGATORS’ DO THEY NOT UNDERSTAND???
    PROOF THAT OBUMMA’S COMING FOR YER ALLIGATORS!!!

    {Message brought to you by Billy Bob’s “Gunz Gold & MRE Shop”, standing up for your ‘gunz n’ gatorz’ rights since 1-21- 2009; conveniently located at 666 Redneck Ave., tel.: 710-GUN-GOLD, open 24/7}

    (snark/satire disclaimer: I’m a medium level K&BA/CCW gun owner)

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  9. Perhaps his mistake was in going for open carry of his alligator. Maybe Florida only allows concealed. He should have kept it tucked in his waistband.

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  10. Tucked in his waistband head downwards.

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  11. JJ, is that “I Love Yew, Florida” because they make Texas seem sane by comparison? I’m still not sure they do. Even if the people may be crazier, I hear worse (often from y’all) about the Texas government and elected politicians.

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  12. LynnN @ 9&10, heheh, CHOMP!

    If ever there was a justification for restricting access to the gene pool/involuntary sterilization, whackjobs like Gatorboy are it…

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  13. Marge Wood says:

    Hehehehe

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  14. JAKvirginia says:

    And people still ask why I left that state.

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  15. Is the alligator all right?

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  16. Sam in San Antonio says:

    When alligators are outlawed, only outlaws will have alligators..

    “They can have my alligator when they pry my cold dead hand from its mouth.”

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  17. georgieporgie says:

    HA! Good one, Sam! Was that one of them there vegan alleygaters? Those parents looked like they are probably related to the Bastrop Jade Helm people… No wonder that boy (man?) had no common sense at all.

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  18. e platypus onion says:

    Technically,he was not in a Wendy’s restaurant when the alligator leapt to its freedumb. It’s final words were give me liberty or I’m a Gucci handbag.

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  19. But where’s the comment from Ted Cruz, regarding the maltreatment of yet another one of his relatives?

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