I Know It’s Hard to Keep Up, But Here’s a Brave Try
Someone was brave enough to step out there and tried to rank the Ten Worst Texans on 2012.
So many options, so little time.
Personally, I don’t know how you can have this list without Joe Barton or holy-crap-what-were-they-thinkin’ Louie Gohmert, but it’s a try.
Any comments?
Hey, my kid is in from the foreign state of California and the even foreigner Los Angeles, so I’ll be spending time with him today. A have a friend approving comments so y’all entertain yourselves.
Oh, lordy. We need a Top Fifty. Of course Gohmert. And Stockman. And John Carter-unfortunately-not-of-Mars, who misrepresents me in my district. We need to rewrite Gilbert & Sullivan to “I’ve got a longer list…”
1Not being shy, I’ll jump in, suggesting various catagories.
Most inept: Lt. Gov. Dewhurst, easy choice.
Worst obstructionist: Cruz, another easy choice.
Biggest Embarrasment: Tough call, first it takes a lot to embarrass Texans. Collectively, we are as easy to embarrass as a nine year old tom cat. But, names do come to mind, Farenthold, Stockman, Laubenberg; oh hell, the list is endless. Perry could be nominated for any catagory.
Most insane: Another endless list of nominees.
Biggest whore: Where to begin?
Biggest coward: See Biggest Whore.
Suggestions, anyone?
2Yep. Too many for a top ten list. Since Macy’s is a corporation, you could create a second list of bad corporatepeople in Texas (I bet we could come up with nine more), and have room for one of the other individual nutcases.
3Juanita Jean, you’ve left us a monumental weekend task. Stuffing 100 piles of steaming gohmerts into a ten pile sack isn’t easy.
Rick Perry
Ted Cruz
John Cornyn
Louis Gohmert
Joe Barton
Randy Neugebauer
Blake Farenthold
Pete Sessions
Steve Stockman
OK, OK, that’s only nine. But the sack was full with a heavy load of lunacy. Estimating 12 more sacks to clean up Texas. That’s a conservative estimate.
4Greg Abbott reminds me of Ray Gricar — the Centre County Pennsyltucky District Attorney who disappeared without a trace a few years back. Not a really good likeness, but enough to make me do a double-take. Maybe Greg will disappear just as mysteriously — if we can only figure out how to say the magic words that open the portal to that other dimension.
5Y’all got the usual suspects covered. I see Greg Abbott made #1.
I guess others made the JV team. Maybe that crazy lady from Tomball, Debbie Riddle?
And how about those racist wackos from the “King Street Patriots/True the Vote” gang that went National?
Oh, Texas…. your bench is so deep.
6Maybe we need to do a grey water system at the Capitol and run it from certain offices to water the lawn. Or we could start at the Guvner’s Mansion.
7I’m gonna toss in the district court judge(appointed by Perry) that sentenced a wealthy.16 year old kid to 10 years probation and rehab for being drunk(he and seven friends stole beer from WalMart) and smashing his speeding truck(50 km/h over speed limit) into a disabled car alongside the road killing the car’s driver,a mother and daughter from nearby who stopped to help and a youth minister who also stopped to help. Kid’s BAC was .24-3X legal limit 3 hours after the wreck. He also had valium in his system. Two passengers in his truck were paralyzed,one can only communicate by blinking his eyes. The killer’s attorney blamed affluenza-being born into too much money and the fact that no one ever held him accountable. Jail time is a sickness and he already suffers from affluenza. He said kid is emotionally retarde,yet he graduated high school at 16.
8Y’all seen this Twitter post from Steve Stockman (RT’d by Evan Smith at Texas Tribune):
Rep. Steve Stockman @StockmanSenate 3h
Liberal John Cornyn voted to kill Ted Cruz’s filibuster and fund Obama’s “Lie of the Year.” #tcot #teaparty #texasgop #txgop #txsen
Stockman’s so full of it the pastures for miles around are clean enough to walk in with white suede shoes. He also doesn’t know what “liberal” means.
9How about adding the Texas judge, Jean Boyle, who let the 14 yr old rich boy off with probation after having killed 4 people, drunk driving. In addition, the name of the psychiatrist who made up the term “affluenza” to excuse the kid’s behavior is Dr. Dick Miller. BTW, this is not a recognized mental or physical illness.
10Hauling in one over sized gohmerts bag for corrupt and crazy Tom DeLay. Equipped his bag with an endless loop of Saguaro Sarah screeching her way further into irrelevance.
Don’t look now, McCain, but the view from your front porch really sucks.
11They actually used the word “affluenza”? Well, it IS a terrible condition. Personally I think 14 yrs up oughta be out chopping prickly pear in a pasture if they even have a fender bender unless they are so scared spitless that they promise their lives in service to the community. Now that I think of it, I think an hour of prickly pear chopping/vacant lot clearing/trash picking up oughta be worth school credits and a required course, not optional, must pass to graduate. I remember once on Long Island that the fifth graders were in trouble for a food fight in the cafeteria. I said you ought to make them clean it up. The principal, shocked, said “Oh, their parents would never approve of that.” I, who had one of them, said “I would.”
12Further “worst Texan” nominees, in some cases going beyond politics:
George Prescott Bush, having finished off his Cracker Jack box in cracker land, migrated to Texas in hope of becoming Land Commissioner.
Jeffrey Dale Williams, who was pastor of The Church of Corinth in Corinth,Texas until he got arrested this spring following a highly unusual counseling session for a troubled female teenager. According to the local police, shoving a chair under the doorknob in his office and keeping the kid there for two hours while repeatedly begging her to show him some “eye candy” didn’t seem to fit generally accepted counseling techniques.
New Boston resident Sharon Richardson, who sent ricin-laced letters to President Obama and ten-New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, in an attempt to frame her husband.
13Um, you mean “ten worst of 2013” (not 2012) right?
I’d nominate Dewhurst’s barber and maybe Cruz’s makeup/cosmetologist.
Keep up the great work. Saw you live in Bryan, TX with Wendy, hope you get to present with her again. Really great combination IMHO.
14For such a marvelous state, Texas does have one unfortunate similarity to a septic tank: the biggest chunks seem to rise to the top.
15Add Can’t Tell Time Doo-hurst to that list!
16Good observation, Teh Gerg. The pool being what it is, we can probably speed up the lap band surgery, deliver an industrial gohmert suppository to Chris Christie and sneak him into the pool along with Tom Corbett, Pepe LePuke Page, Darrell Issa, Mike Lee, Jim Demint, Marco Rubio, Steve King, Joe Wilson, and Tim Huelskamp.
But to be fair to Texas, let them choose their poison between toxic politicians and nuclear waste.
17As a born and Proud Texas Liberal, lists like this make me feel ill and ashamed of the way My Texas has been hijacked by right-winged conservative dingleberries who tend to claim to be “Christian”, of all things!! Enjoy you trip, JJ!! Back in the early 80’s, I was stationed at Edwards AFB, smack middle in the Mojave Desert. LA was a 90 minute drive, but always worth it! 🙂
18We could also throw in former Williamson County D.A and later judge Ken Anderson, the guy who didn’t just ignore, but concealed exculpatory evidence and sent Michael Morton to prison for a murder he didn’t commit, estranging him from his son. In fact, the whole danged WmCo “justice system” which calls itself “tough on crime” but is really tough on anybody it wants to be, guilty or not. Yeah, Ken lost his judgeship, but he should have gone to prison, in my books. This is the same guy who ran as a Democrat then switched his coat as soon as he was well into the DA seat, and turned hard-line Elephant thereafter. Finally convicted this year after a plea bargain that kept him out of jail, so I think he counts for this year. Likewise that east Texas judge (reported here, but I can’t recall her name) who was instructing the DA on how to conduct a case in her court.
But wait–we haven’t tackled the state school board’s textbook committee. They’re still standing athwart good science textbooks and history books and trying to indoctrinate all Texas kids as Tea Party & religious bigots.
And was it this year or the previous that some state legislator said he just couldn’t hear women legislators when they were talking, and that’s why he talked over them? Him, too.
19I must say there won’t be a lot of singing any songs about what a wonderful year it has been in Texas or anywhere else it would seem. Such a sad state of affairs across this Nation and we can thank the Repukes/teapartiers for making the holidays so miserable for so many!
20I’m with Nancy Jane on this one. Macy’s is a corporation and a New York (Newwwww York???) one to boot. Wait, they can’t “to boot” can they? Hmmm. Let’s find a new list for Macy’s and substitute Gohmert, as good a reason as any to stay the hell away from Tyler and Longview and District 1.
The bad news of course for us Huacoans is now that Stockman has thrown his tea bag into the senate race, the Nuge could re-emerge from his burrow in west McClennan County. Fortunately its deer season so crazy is occupied for another month.
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