I Kinda Have My Doubts

April 02, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, we have a little fun game you can play along.

Donald Trump just said

 

Screen Shot 2016-04-02 at 12.52.23 PM

“If I win, all of the bad things happening in the U.S. will be rapidly reversed!”

Okay.  All?  Did you mean all in the sense of everything?

Racism

Acne

When your ice cream cone drips all over your hand

Comcast

Injustice

NFL Stars battering their wives

That thing when you run out of bobbin while sewing and you don’t know so you just keep on sewing but you’re not really sewing because you ran out of damn bobbin

Cancer

Tiger Wood’s golf swing

Ants at picnics

Baptists

Armed robbery

Chip-proof nail polish that always chips

Please feel free to add to the list.

 

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0 Comments to “I Kinda Have My Doubts”


  1. Linda Phipps says:

    Yeah, well, Obama was asked why he didn’t fix everyting about 8 minutes after the inauguration.

    1
  2. Slow cars in the fast lane

    2
  3. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Linda Phipps, that shiftless Obama! Why didn’t he fix all of Dubya’s disasters the day before his inauguration? We know the snacilbupeR were working to finalize their obstruction plan(s) ahead of Obama’s inauguration.

    Did Donnie just promise to clip $carah’s vocal cords?

    3
  4. Chloe Bear says:

    Hunger
    Homelessness
    People who die while waiting for an organ donation
    Sexism
    Hate-spewing politicians
    Drought
    Zika Virus
    Ebola
    basically all the plagues — updated like AIDS and the above
    climate change
    facists and facism
    slavery

    4
  5. e platypus onion says:

    and don’t fergeit,M&Ms chocolate always melts in my hand long before it ever gets close to my mouth. Even frozen chocolates.

    5
  6. Lower back pain?
    Depression?
    Mold?
    Termites?

    6
  7. TrulyTexan says:

    Repuplicans
    The “How I Met Your Mother” finale
    All the debates
    Fox News
    Congress
    Mass shootings
    Individual shootings
    Every horrible thing passed by congress
    Every great thing blocked by congress
    Trumps candidacy

    7
  8. my lack of a romantic life?

    Fix that Donald!

    8
  9. Donald Trump’s version of “bad things,” which has been plaguing America, will be reversed.

    9
  10. Trump being taken seriously as a presidential candidate
    Cruz being taken seriously as a presidential candidate
    Kasich being considered a “moderate”
    Bernie supporters who won’t vote for Clinton in Nov.
    Republican majorities in the House and Senate
    climate change
    deforestation
    the surge of extinctions nearly all human-caused
    my bad back
    my bad knees
    unadopted cats and dogs in shelters
    the cats and dogs that haven’t made it to shelters
    current music being so bland and boring compared with the stuff I grew up on
    the NRA
    tasty food being fattening
    LGBT-bashing
    those blasted ants that get into the kitchen
    entropy

    10
  11. AKLynne says:

    Freezing nights right after you set your plants outdoors.
    Mosquitoes
    Holiday lights that won’t light because one bulb burned out.
    Spiders in the house
    Moss in the lawn
    Rain right after you wash the car
    Allergies
    Walmart

    11
  12. Old Mayfly says:

    Clueless rich white guys with bad hair-pieces pontificating about government regulation of American womens’ personal choices regarding pregnancy.

    12
  13. George in Lee County says:

    Not just acne, but more particularly, acne among teen age boys. Hey, Trump, you ever try to get a date when your face is covered in acne. Go man, take care of it even if you are not elected!!

    And how about the conspiracy among plant nurseries: You know, the one where the last killing frost of the season happens about two weeks after tomato plants go on sale at the local nursery.

    And what about flatulence among 50year-old + lawyers, who stand up to address the Court or a jury, and rip a fart??? Take care of that and the people of America will erect a monument to you even if you loose the election!

    13
  14. SallyinMI says:

    Find real jobs for the Palins
    Stop the weekly snowstorms in MI-we’ve had one every week since March began…right when we started bragging about our ‘mild winter.” Two more on their way-tonight and tomorrow night.
    Rabid evangelicals who want ‘their’ God installed as the leader of the USA.
    Contraception for anyone who wants it-free and accessible.
    (that’s how you end abortion, you idiot Republicans)
    End Citizens United
    Infrastructure building for the next 20 years so there is no more poisoned water like Flint.
    No ME wars
    End nuclear proliferation forever
    Shut down Fox
    Arrest anyone who signed the letter to Iran as a traitor to the US
    End fracking everywhere

    (Man, Trump is gonna be BU-SY)

    14
  15. Marion (formerly known as MM) says:

    Nuclear power.
    Nuclear weapons.
    Fracking.
    Air pollution.
    Police brutality.
    Mass surveillance.
    Environmental degradation.
    Gohmert.

    15
  16. Sandia Blanca says:

    Gov. Greg Abbott.
    Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick.
    Anti-sciencers on boards of education.
    Small-dicked gun worshippers.

    16
  17. Gindy51 says:

    He sounds like he’should running for class president in Napoleon Dynamite’s school.

    17
  18. Rasty Bob says:

    Drumph will never tell a lie. So will the rest of them.

    18
  19. wheat and gluten allergy
    sugar addiction
    not married to Olivia Newton John, Kim Baysinger, Christie Brinkley or Cheryl Tiegs
    somewhat less than the typical white man’s vertical leap
    somewhat to far less intelligent than Albert Einstein
    less muy macho than Fernando Lamas

    I’m waiting Donald every day until 3 for these bad things to be remediated. Back to 1967. No pressure.

    19
  20. Elizabeth Moon says:

    Brown-headed cowbirds
    Sea level rise
    White nose syndrome in bats
    Overfishing
    Bad copy editors
    Men who won’t read books by women
    Gamergate
    E-book piracy
    Adulteration of drugs
    Careless/lazy/ignorant/greedy food manufacturers
    Law enforcement that breaks laws
    Tea Party
    Libertarians
    Secessionists
    NRA
    Loose dogs chasing/killing livestock and game
    Aging
    Domestic violence
    Sexual assaults in colleges
    Guns on campuses
    “School to prison highway”
    War on Drugs
    War on Women
    War on Children
    War on Persons of Color (esp. men)
    Feedlots instead of pasture beef/pork
    the “Border Wall”
    Airlines’ war on passengers
    Passenger Rail
    …..etc, etc, etc.

    20
  21. People who leave their shopping carts in the aisle and walk off.
    Drivers who don’t signal for a turn until the last second, even though they see you waiting for them.
    Toe nail fungus.
    “Easy open” packaging that’s anything but.
    Flabby upper arms.
    Old men who walk around with their mouths open.
    Time Warner Cable.
    The neighbor who asked me if my vote “counted.”
    Parents who don’t vaccinate their kids.
    Anybody who starts a sentence with “I’m not a scientist…”

    21
  22. I Really Hate the Bobbin Thing!

    22
  23. Slow wifi.
    Sports dominated by boys/men.
    Fossil fuel use.
    Corporate welfare.
    Grotesque CEO income.
    Any use of the prefix “bro”.
    Texting while driving or walking.
    Bullies.
    Parents trying to live through their children.
    Mean girls.
    Mean boys.

    23
  24. maryelle says:

    Cancer, heart disease, stroke, alzheimer’s, dementia, birth defects, diabetes, obesity, autism, learning disabilities, free healthcare for all, yuge increases for education, free college, scrap the cap on social security, respect for teachers, unions, nurses, all public servants, guaranteed rights for LGBT’s, Voting Rights restored, Voter ID laws rescinded, strict regulation of Banks and Wall Street, mortgages secured,the War On Christians refuted, strict gun legislation, gun manufacturer’s held financially and criminally responsible for every single gun death, solar and wind replace coal and oil, fracking outlawed and the end of the Republican Party. Drumpf must resign!

    24
  25. If Donald Trump reverses himself will that involve time travel? And might we end up in an endless loop of this Repub primary? (Sort of like a horror version of Groundhog Day.)

    25
  26. That Other Jean says:

    OK, Donnie, in addition to all that other stuff already mentioned, you can get to work on

    Ending ocean noise pollution that disorients whales and dolphins
    Ending all gerrymandered political districts
    Setting standards and monitoring for home-schooled students in all states
    Educating all Congresspersons in basic human biology

    26
  27. fierywoman says:

    The bobbin thing — jeez, I feel like I just found another one of my tribes !!! xoxo to all people who sew.

    27
  28. For starters
    Mississippi,
    Louisiana,
    Alabama
    oklahoma
    S carolina
    N Carolina
    Utah
    tennessee
    georgia
    Idaho

    28
  29. House centipedes (those damn things are disgusting and FAST!)
    The skunk that walks past my bedroom window every night during the summer
    The unconscionable number of calories and fat grams in fettuccini alfredo
    The kid in my second grade class who spends most of the day with his finger digging around in his nostril

    29
  30. two crows says:

    The Great Ice Shelf in Antarctica melting
    Duke Energy dumping Arsenic in holding ponds and then the dam breaking and that water spilling into a river from which drinking water is drawn — and nothing happens to Duke’s CEO
    Unwed mothers
    Deadbeat fathers
    Kim Jung Un
    Putin
    Inequality
    Citizens United
    War on Women
    War on Drugs
    War on anyone with more pigment in their skin than Trump
    Mitch McConnell
    Voter suppression in neighborhoods that are likely to vote Democratic
    Mother Theresa died. How did he allow that to happen?
    The battery in my mouse dying just at a crucial moment in my game

    30
  31. Incorrect use of the verbs “lie” and “lay.”
    No pets allowed hotels
    Littering

    31
  32. charles r. phillips says:

    Pepperoni made from anything but pork.

    32
  33. Citizens United
    Antiabortion laws
    Hate radio
    Voting restrictions
    “Religious freedom”
    Prosperity gospel
    Reality TV

    33
  34. Mary Smith says:

    Although it’s already been listed: toenail fungus
    potholes
    squirrels in the attic
    squirrels on the bird feeder
    squirrels in the legislature

    34
  35. Clean up the water in Michigan and everywhere else the corporations have dumped their chemicals
    The Koch brothers and their minion politicians
    NFL non-profit status
    Cops killing or harassing people for no reason other than they can
    Banks
    Moochers, grifters, & evil people like Sarah Palin, Dick Cheney, Pat Robertson, et al
    Squirrels eating all the bird seeds even when they have their own food
    Trump’s own followers
    Strong winds knocking over humongous trees
    Stupid people and their guns
    anti-vaxxers

    35
  36. lazrgrl says:

    Incorrect use of apostrophes. And the bobbin thing! (And forgetting to lower the presser foot on thick fabric and making a rat’s nest of thread on the back of the seam)

    36
  37. Crazy Quilter says:

    Yes, yes. Please fix the empty bobbin thing. I’ve got miles to sew before I sleep.
    Get rid of Koch brothers and all their ilk.
    Write investment information and insurance policies in word of no more than two syllables, in English.
    Wasps.
    Neighbors that let their ‘pet’ cats run wild.

    37
  38. Marcia in CO says:

    It would seem most everything in the entire U.S. of A. and around the World has been covered in these 37 comments! I don’t believe there is anything I can add within Comment 38.

    38
  39. Sam in San Antonio says:

    Post nasal drip

    39
  40. YES!! Please fix the damn bobbin problem.

    40
  41. El Gonzo says:

    The adoration of clueless conservasheep for people who spend their entire careers stabbing them in the back.

    41
  42. I remembered a few more things:
    ice melting and polar bears dying
    bees dying
    fix all the potholes
    horrible rush hour(s) traffic

    42
  43. More specifically, Alzheimer’s in humans. (We are doing great on curing it in mice now.) Throw in Lewy body dementia, too. It may be even harder for patients and families.
    Dogs who think they need to go out in the night to run off the skunk in the yard. Not funny, guys.
    Yes, the bobbin thing. Also the thing where you run out of paint with a little strip left to go, and the next batch doesn’t quite match.
    Ted Cruz’s voice – sound and contents both. Though I figure if Trumpkin gets elected, we might indeed hear a little less from DetesTed.

    43
  44. Marge Wood says:

    pay checks that run out before bills do.

    44
  45. cell phone use of any kind while driving

    45
  46. Soon of a gun! The reincarnation of Merlin the Magician! Just gave into his eyes . . . No, don’t do that. There isn’t enough brain scrub in the world to get rid of what you would see!

    46
  47. fierywoman says:

    Lost adult teeth that immediately regrow perfectly.

    47
  48. slipstream says:

    If it’s not too much to ask . . . the Cubs win the Series?

    48
  49. xavierbreath says:

    Incontinence in older women..

    49
  50. Yes lazrgirl! This too! “(And forgetting to lower the presser foot on thick fabric and making a rat’s nest of thread on the back of the seam)”

    I hate that too!

    50