I Just Thought About This
Do you know who is still alive? Dick Cheney.
He’s 79 years old. H
e’s had five heart attacks, the first one when he was 37. He’s had bypasses, pumps, stints, and probably a bottle of glue. He had a heart transplant ten years ago. He shot a guy in the damn face, and a pellet or two landed near the guy’s heart and five years later it almost killed him.
And Cheney’s still alive.
That just doesn’t seem right.
Maybe it’s living proof that the good die young.
TANJ!
1you forgot war monger
2Don’t believe all that heart surgery and stents stuff. Like his fellow members of the order Blattodea, he doesn’t need one. Instead of blood he has ichor, and it just sorta sloshes around under his carapace.
As for a heart transplant, that’s probably a cover story for when he got caught eating one from a White House intern.
One reason I miss Hunter Thompson: when the Dick finally gets squashed or accidentally goes into a kitchen that’s been sprayed with Black Flag, and when the EPA finally reluctantly issues a toxic waste disposal permit, and the lead-lined coffin with Cheney’s corpse is buried at some cross-roads, he needs the kind of obituary that HT wrote for Nixon.
God’s truth: the first time I went to the Dept of Energy’s headquarters in Washington, they had a portrait on a wall in the lobby. I figured it was some departed DoE administrator, but then slowly I realized it looked like Cheney. But it was smiling, and I had only seen him snarling and glaring. It took several minutes before the dawning horrible realization came: it WAS a smiling Dick Cheney. Who knows how many puppies he had to kick, and small children to kill and eat, before they were able to coax that expression on his face.
3When I think about Dick Cheney my response is quite similar to a scene in Young Frankenstein:
https://youtu.be/0VkrUG3OrPc
4Vice (2018) – “He Saw An Opportunity” scene [1080p] Clip 3:27
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdzOh-yW_xk
5Surly Professor @ 3,
Put a wood stake through his heart before they seal the lid shut.
6Millions of taxpayer dollars to keep him alive.
7Papa, do they make wood stakes that small?
8Cheney is evil and evil does not die; it must be destroyed.
9In the UK, we have a saying that the devil looks after his own. It seems to fit.
10And his evil spawn is still living
11I *think* this is how this is supposed to work (I am a Yankee).
“Well bless his heart”…
12What a waste of a good heart.
13I bet some young and deserving person who was next in line got bumped so that they could keep Chaney alive.
Megasoid@5: did you (or the video makers) have in mind George Washington Plunkitt with that phrase “he saw an opportunity”? For anyone who has not read the sage of Tammany Hall, Project Gutenberg has you covered: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2810/2810-h/2810-h.htm
The end of his explanation of honest versus dishonest graft has:
14———–
If my worst enemy was given the job of writin’ my epitaph when I’m gone, he couldn’t do more than write:
“George W. Plunkitt. He Seen His Opportunities, and He Took ‘Em.”
———–
Old Fart@12: well done for a Yankee. However, it has to be modified for roaches like Cheney: “Well, bless his shriveled, blackened lump that sits where most folks have a heart”.
15“He shot a guy in the damn face, and a pellet or two landed near the guy’s heart and five years later it almost killed him.”
Right, and the guy [Austin atty Whittington] later on basically apologized for getting in Dick’s way, since Cheney dodged all blame in true Rethug form..
I’ve been getting some pungent whiffs of Rovian/Cheney stench around the tRump creep campaign for a while now.
I have no doubt that Parscale has put both of those coprolites [and others] on juicy ‘consultant/advisor’ contracts. tRump represents the apex of contemporary Rethuglican ideals.
.
PS- I found out where Darth’s ‘undisclosed location’ is:
Dickshooter, Idaho [really]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dickshooter,_Idaho
I’ve been meaning to suggest that after the Dems clean house in Nov that all the US’ RWNJs that will be in a frenzy be allowed [or rounded up] to relocate to their new ‘homeland’ centered around Dickshooter. First we build a wall though.
16It’s a remote area in SW Idaho bordering the whack areas of OR and NV, so they’ll fit right in without displacing too many decent folk.
Mike @ 1:
17Louis Wu couldn’t have said it better.
Unless he’s a Protector at the time. Then he woulda found a way. Obviously 😉
Rick @ 4:
When I think of Cheney, 2 images come to mind. One is Burgess Meridith as the Penguin.
The other is an impeccably rendered photo of Cheney, bare-chested, with his belly hatch open, revealing the robotics within. It was the cover of a paragon of journalistic integrity. Like The Sun, or The National Enquirer. I had to buy it. It’s around here somewhere. I kept it as proof.
Since it’s Memorial Day, let’s not forget the multiple draft-dodges. Six, wasn’t it?
18Dick Cavett often comments upon hearing of a celebrity death
19“Why is it never Dick Cheney?”
Buttermilk Sky, yup, it was six. If we had a real press corps, one of them could probably goad Trump into some one-upmanship. “Well, I had SEVEN bone spurs. And they were perfect spurs, on both feet”.
When my cohort came up for the draft, a high school friend of mine had a birth defect that prevented him from opening his right elbow at more than a 90 degree angle. He was classified 1A, and given a waiver that he did not have to do push-ups in basic training. But Cheney “had other priorities”, unlike the rest of us.
[Fond memories of doing AIT, practicing attacking a fake Vietnamese village in Kansas. Very realistic, grass hutches and all. Having to charge through 3 feet deep snow sorta diluted the verisimulatude, though.]
20Could not believe how cool and competent the victim was after he got shot! Still can’t figure that out. Did Cheney promise to pay him off immeidiately of not sooner?
21