I Answer My Mail While My Husband Is In Jail
Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has been indicted for two first degree counts of securities fraud, and with a third degree felony for failing to register as a securities adviser with the Texas State Securities Board.
He’s so crooked that he has to screw on his socks in the morning.
It is important to remember that all of these things happened before he was elected Attorney General. So, watching him try to blame Obama for his indictment is a load of fun.
To rally the Republican troops before his trial, Mr. and Mrs. Paxton have taken their show on the road. She writes songs, plays the guitar, and sings.
Here’s her latest song.
Pistol Packin’ Mama
by Angela PaxtonI’m a pistol packin’ mama, yes I am
I’m a pistol packin’ mama, yes I am
I’m a pistol packin’ mama and my husband sues Obama
I’m a pistol packin’ mama, yes I amI was adopted as a little bitty babe
I was adopted as a little bitty babe
I’m so blessed to have 2 mamas, and my husband sues Obama
I was adopted as a little bitty babeI grew up in a tiny Texas town
I grew up in a tiny Texas town
Ninety people, cows, pigs, llamas, and my husband sues Obama
I grew up in a tiny Texas town
Tragically, it goes on and on and on.
I guess she’s working on something to rhyme with prison.
Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.
Hey, at least she isn’t bustin’ windows and dinner plates out of frustration.
1Makes you wonder if TX GOPpers vet anyone when they run ’em for office…
2OMG – I thought you were kidding. This is embarrassing for Texas. With our luck, it will go viral.
3Cheryl, the Pox of Texas, Loopy Louie, has already gone viral on C-SPAN. Other may attempt to rival Louie as king of the st00pid, but he has his little horns locked in place on that one. Whereas Dancing Delay merely set the bar on corruption under which the others slither in competition.
4An 8 year old mentality.
5I run my mouth without using my brain
I run my mouth without using my brain
This song ain’t got no comma and my husband sues Obama.
I run my mouth without using my brain
I want you to just die if you’re a homo
I want you to just die if you’re a homo
I’m rightwards of Osama and my husband sues Obama
I want you to just die if you’re a homo
I spent the money that my husband stole
I spent the money that my husband stole
This song is one big fail and my husband’s going to jail
I spent the money that my husband stole
I’ll stand by him until he goes to prison
6I’ll stand by him until he goes to prison
He may have gone too far but I-O-K-I-Y-A-R
Then D-I-V-O-R-C-E in prison.
Some people just have no shame or class: Mr. and Mrs. Paxton are perfect examples.
7I’m an old cowhand from the Rio Grande
8But my legs ain’t bowed and my cheeks ain’t tanned
I’m a cowboy who never saw a cow
Never roped a steer ’cause I don’t know how
Sure ain’t a fixin’ to start in now
Oh, yippie yi yo kayah, yippie yi yo kayah
-Bing Crosby
Good Grief!
9I sing my songs and I moan
I sing my songs and I moan
My husband did sue Obama
I ended with all this trauma
I’m raising my kids on my own.
I’m a RW pistol packing minion
and my hubby’s going to prison.
Yea, my hubby’s going to prison.
The End.
10Such talented lyricists frequent this salon!
Here’s a simple version of “Joe Turner Blues”.
Adagio (mournfully, until he’s convicted)
11They tell me, Ken Paxton’s come and gone.(jazz riff)
They tell me, Ken Paxton’s come and gone. (“)
He committed fraud,
Left his wife, to sing this song. (“)
What a perfect match. The karmic wheel just keeps turning and it will be interesting to see how this runs it course.
12This is from Angela, the “guidance counselor”? Really? She should keep the day job, cause neither Nashville nor Vegas are calling soon.
13OK,
“I got my pistol, Ken’s got his’n
At least ’til he goes to prison
I’m a pistol packin’ Mama yes I am.”
Sorry, Frank Zappa (RIP) I’m definitely not.
14Boy, that is p.i.t.i.f.u.l.!
15His mug shot shows a cute s#*t eating grin
16His mug shot shows a cute s#*t eating grin
His mug shot shows a s#*t eating grin, it’ll get him laid while in the pen
His mug shot shows a cute s#*t eating grin
What has Ken Paxton done lately?
Been Indicted for securities fraud
Soon to spend time in the crowbar hotel
Pissin’ and moanin’ to gawd.
Oh bury me not on the old prairie
where the deer and the antelope roam
Paxton’s a crook,they’ll throw the book
Be awhile before he’s coming home.
From jail Kenny can’t sue Obama
Sure hope wifey gets conjugal days
She was born in a tiny town in Texas
Sleeping alone because crime doesn’t pay.
I’m sure there’s a moral to tell her
A lesson she’s sure to regret
What goes around comes around
Be it either Karma or Kismet.
I shouldn’t rejoice in other’s miseries
17This time I give epo a pass
For the Mr and Mrs are drizzilies
They both just got kicked in the A-Butt. 🙂
Note that suing President Obama is not the same as winning a lawsuit against him. People can sue about pretty much anything and have.
In today’s news: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/10/13/new-york-city-woman-sues-her-nephew-for-127000-for-exuberant-leap-into-her-arms-at-his-birthday-party-that-broke-her-wrist/73867150/
18Can anyone talk Guy Clark into giving Mz. Paxton and DaChipster some songwriterly advice? Like, “Don’t?”
19It’s lights out time in prison, yes it is
20It’s lights out time in prison, yes it is
Kenny’s cellmate’s ardor has arisen, it’s lights out time in prison
Those screams I hear from prison sound like Ken.
Sorry, Henry. Prison rape isn’t any funnier than the other kind.
21Let’s consider affirmative words that remind us of misprision of office. Any in-decent lawyer can provide us with examples of misprision … well paxton is such a good example!
22For once my verse daemon refused to play–printably, that is. I think the Muse is offended by Miz Paxton’s verses, so he’s in a snit and using language Mama would not approve.
When “suing Obama” is the only positive thing you can say about your hubby, honey, you really should just go home and wash the dishes. And give back to the citizens of Texas the taxpayer money he wasted suing Obama.
23I apologize, Cookie. I let my schadenfreude take over for my judgment.
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