Hummus Recall
This makes perfect sense and you guys need to quit making fun of Ben Carson for confusing hummus with Hamas.
The soft-spoken conservative mispronounced the name of terrorist organization Hamas several times in a speech to Jewish Republicans. Instead he called the group “hummus” – the name of a popular Middle Eastern chickpea dish (also available and delicious at your local Texas grocery store).
Reporters at the event said Carson’s distortions of Hamas drew chuckles from the crowd. Those following along on social media also poked fun at the malapropism. (Does Barack Obama have a plan to defeat hummus? Does it involve pita bread?)
Well, Mr. Smartypants reporter, surely you know that there’s been a big recall of hummus recently.
Hummus can now officially kill you. Ben Carson is a medical doctor and this is his expertise.
So, do you have a plan? I mean, other than the recall. American cannot be great again until there’s a hummus plan.
Go figure. Carson turned down being secretary of HHS because he “lacked federal experience” in a field that he at least had quite a bit of knowledge about, only to accept the job at HUD based on the fact that his sole experience is living in a house.
1If you want hummus, get some sesame seeds and roll your own. Then you only need to worry about a recall of the sesame seeds. And any other ingredients you choose to add.
2Rule #1 do NOT place chick peas on my salad.
3Rule #2 do not pulverize those horrible things into a paste, season and expect that I won’t notice it’s still chick peas.
Rule #3 do not repackage Mental Ben and expect that we won’t notice that Dr Stabby is still certifiably crazy and incompetent at any speed.
Don A in Pennsyltucky
Rule #4, if you roll it, there should be some reasonable expectation of smoking it.
4Rule #5 do not roll my food in corn meal, then throw it on the grill, when dropping it in beach sand first would probably have a more pleasant effect.
Rule #5: Sprouts are not a garnish. I have grass in my front yard. I’m not paying for it.
(Oddly… I like chick peas. So, yes I’m weird. But I’m still not eating sprouts!)
5BTW: Dr. Stabby’s title will be Token.
6Correx: Sprouts should be Rule #6. I will learn to count. I promise.
7@ JAK. If I could count I wouldn’t be a lawyer. Would have an honest job like playing piano in a bawdy house.
8If all the “hummus” in the universe were recalled and destroyed I personally would shed nary a tear. Not even a tiny inconsequential one.
9I was in such a hurry at first to get something else done that I thought the caption was about a humor recall!
10Make your own. It’s much, much cheaper and tasted better than the stuff made in a factory.
You just need a food processor and know how to open a can of chickpeas. (I don’t actually like chickpeas; but, make an exception for hummus.)
11The absolute first thing I did during this year’s open enrollment window was make sure Dr. Ben was not in my plan. The second thing was modify my health care directive to state that if I emerge from an extreme medical event a Republican euthanize immediately.
12I think it’s fine Ben is concerned with hummus. After he fails in his attempt to lead HUD with no relevant experience, hummus will complement him well, as a key ingredient, when he becomes the fall-afel guy.
13The first call Kroger made was to Sabra. The second was to the FDA.
Trump is president-select. He’s gonna get rid of the FDA. So the next time there’s poison on my local grocery store’s shelves, it’s gonna stay there.
Problem solved.
I guess.
Does the president-select eat food? Gee, I hope so. What will be coming to the shelves of the store where his staff shops? One little dinner party that hosts Trump and Pence and Ryan could _really_ solve our problems now, couldn’t it?
14FBI gonna gotcha!
15I don’t like hummus and I don’t like Token Mental Ben. I do like my garbanzos! I like that name better than chick peas because I like saying it. Say it with vigor and enthusiasm! It’s fun! G A R B A N Z O S ! ! ! ! !
If I should wake from a particularly traumatic experience, euthanize a snacilbupeR. If I don’t awake, euthanize a snacilbupeR anyway. Why not?
16O, the Hummanity!
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