.

UPDATED:

Juanita’s blood ran cold at the announcement.

Political operatives in Austin tell me that Perry’s campaign team has been quietly polling voters outside of the Lone Star State to gauge his chances on the national stage. With the November 2012 election 22 months away, Perry is hoping to gain some early traction.

“Now, I know people say that American isn’t ready for another prissy, ignorant, Texas Governor who is charmingly unburdened by intellectual function.  But damn, people, look what America elected last November,” she cautions.

Verdelia claims that she’s strongly considering opening “The Miss Verdelia Center for the Study of Rick Perry, Fire Ants, and Rattlesnakes.”  She will issue national media alerts when any of these things might threaten the well being of the citizenry.

Rick is being inaugurated today and here’s the list of “donors” (Read: corporate rapists) who are paying for the event.

From Rick’s inaugural address today

The frail, the young, the elderly on fixed incomes, those in situations of abuse and neglect, people whose needs are greater than the resources at their disposal – they can count on the people of Texas to be there for them.

We will protect them, support them and empower them, but cannot risk the future of millions of taxpayers in the process. We must cut spending to keep our economic engine on track.

Translation:  Yeah, we’ll help the poor, the lame, children, and the elderly, just so long they don’t actually need anything.