Okay, I feel bad for a lot of y’all because it’s gonna get hot where you are.  You know, Texas hot.

Hot enough to melt dirt.

So hot we had to feed the chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

Hot as high school love.

So hot that potatoes are baking in the ground.

So hot that you need pot holders to turn your steering wheel.

That hot.

So, here’s some clues from a girl who knows hot.

Go right now and have them install a swimming pool or a creek in you backyard.  If that’s impossible, buy one of those kiddie pools.  Sit in it while holding an umbrella with a big ole fan on you.

Drink about the same amount of water it takes to fill the swimming pool everyday.

Ice cream.

Fill your cooler with ice. When you can’t take it anymore, stick your head in it.

Volunteer to work at the Costco frozen food department.

Do not shop – stores can’t keep up with the heat.  And if there’s a power failure, which is likely, nobody has cash to pay but that’s okay because none of the store clerks know how to make change.

They say eating hot food will make you feel cooler. They lie.