Holy Crap: No Wonder The Hurricanes Keep Going There
Okay, so it’s one thing to discover that your New Orleans, Louisiana, parish priest is making whoopee. With two women. At the same time. And the women are semi-professionals. And they have leather and whips. While your priest is partially wearing his religious garb. In the church at night. On the altar. With special lighting so it can be filmed. And they left the windows open for all to see. Someone did and called the police.
I mean, that’s one thing.
But, it’s kinda another thing that the exact same priest had recently taken over the chaplain position at the Catholic high school when the priest who had the job resigned last summer over “inappropriate texts” with a student. I don’t think the inappropriate texts were answers to the geometry test. And on the day the alter sex priest was arrested, the inappropriate text priest decided to announce that he had sexually abused a minor in 2013. Are they having a contest or something?
Archbishop Greg Aymond went to the church days later for a church ritual to restore the altar’s sanctity, the station reported.
I do not even want to know what weirdness that would involve.
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
Too weird to comment upon!
1All the holy water in the world wouldn’t be enough to cleanse that altar. Ugh.
2Maybe they should burn the whole thing and salt the ground.
3My Catholic upbringing seems dull compared to what young people are treated to today. Nor was I ever sexually abused by a Boy Scout leader.
4I always wondered whatever happen to Gladys Cravitz.
5Gosh–my life as an atheist is much too ordinary. I might stop by that place to see how they liven up their services. Makes my “Holy Roller” grandma look tame.
6“Hocus Pocus, Dominocus.”
That fixes it.
7They all got nekkid and slapped each other with raw liver. Then. Then it really got weird.
8Were they making a video for Trump’s thousands of pole watchers?
9Hopefully, there was Clorox in addition to the frankincense.
10To paraphrase of of my favorite movie lines, “Forget it, Jake, it’s Lousy-Anna.”
11Wonder if Jerry Falwell Jr. was the cameraman? Asking for a friend.
12Biden needs to get the details on the purification rite. Bathe White House is gonna need it!
13Not only did they desecrate the altar, they were all over the organ too.
14I’ll bet whenever there is a service in that church, the parishioners’ imaginations run wild. No amount of sanctification is going to get rid of that.
15Best comment ever heard about the Roman Catholic church is that it is best thought of as a pedophile procurement organization. If you think about it, it seems to fit the profile.
16“On the altar. With special lighting so it can be filmed.”
Here’s my theory.
The priest heard one too many confessions, and figured he’d try out some of this stuff for himself. The leather and whips sounded a bit like the time honored tradition of self-flagellation practiced by fervent believers in the Middle Ages, probably even more holy on an alter.
And if he misread the room, now he has a video confession for the Archbishop. It’s the 21st century after all.
17Paul @ 16. It’s been going on for a long time. Read Boccaccio’s ‘Putting the devil back in hell.’ And that story was old in the Tercento.
18Here’s my theory:
1. Storms go where the air pressure is the lowest.
192. Lousy-Anna is chock full of vacuum-headed Republicans.
3. When they all talk at once, the resulting vacuum draws in
any storm within a thousand miles.
4. Lousy-Anna Republicans talk A LOT.
5. Ergo, and ipso facto, they done to theyselves.
“Archbishop Greg Aymond went to the church days later for a church ritual to restore the altar’s sanctity, the station reported.”
Trump had a similar situation in Moscow when he had to sleep in the same room where his hated enemy ‘don’t ever humiliate me on national TV like you did at the WH Correspondence Dinner’ Obama previously sleep. His escort Natasha, highly recommended Russian prostitute Golden Showers that are know to restore ‘sanctity’ to almost any awkward situation
20@Sam Davis #14 – “Not only did they desecrate the altar, they were all over the organ too.”
You, sir, win the internets today!
21Charles Phillips @19: as someone with professional experience in computational fluid dynamics, meteorology, and climatology, I endorse your theory. It may not be exactly right mathematically, but is bang-on politically and educationally.
Malarkey: I submit Mark@9’s comment for your consideration, “thousands of pole watchers”. Was it a typo and he meant “poll”, or was it as in “pole dancers”? Either way, it also deserves recognition as winning the internets.
22Wow. They just can’t seem to change. When my late husband was attending a private boys school run by an order of brothers (not priests), one of the faculty members turned up dead in a house of ill repute. There was a lot of snickering over that. Plus later on, as in years passing by, the local bishop was nabbed with a snootful and behind the wheel. There was a lot of publicity about that plus time in a dry out rehab.
23Mark at #9 – I think you meant “Poll Watchers”, but your comment is hysterical and appropriate.
24@Papa #3 : Update: The bishop is burning the altar and consecrating a new one. For reals.
Question is, will tthe new one have stirrups and eye bolts for the blessed linen restraints built in??
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