Holy Crap: Mall Demons Edition
Well, the Steeple People are a determined bunch and while I appreciate them saving me from the Illuminati and assorted devils, I think maybe there’s a limit, especially at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
Four former security guards are suing G4S Secure Solutions for $3.5 million, claiming the international security company’s kiosk in a Gresham shopping center was run by a devoutly Christian supervisor who told employees their gay family members were going to hell, played videos about the Illuminati and warned that the security kiosk could be attacked by demons.
Her name is Sarah Houser. When the guards complained about her referring to the security kiosk as “church,” covering the walls with Bible verses, they were fired. They said Houser held prayer meetings and told them that gay people are going to hell. I have no idea where she thinks Democrats are going but I suspect most of her demons at least vote Democratic.
Good news for demon magnets, though. G4S Secure Solutions also has security teams at UK Foreign Commonwealth Office in Afghanistan and a Google Data Center.
Thanks to Brian for the heads up.
Laughing. Those ladies live in another dimension. Hope the guards get at least some of that $3.5 mill. They’ll need it for their own personal security guards.
1I remember years ago when a reputable Bible professor said that times were changing. I am pretty sure he wouldn’t have believed what’s going on now.
I want to know what Tax exemptions she applied for, you know John Oliver’s Church doesn’t seem so outlandish now.
2See? This kind of looney-tunes religiosity, right here in bleeding-heart liberal land, is why I kind of get my panties in a bunch when self-righteous lefties (and yes, I’ve been one) laugh and point at the wingnuts in southern states for being backwards and superstitious. Wingnuts are everywhere, and I bet I’m not the only one who knows it because at least a few are family members. It might be – MIGHT be – more codified in the South, but there’s no shortage of that kind of BS right here in the Pacific Northwest.
3John Oliver’s Church and Flip Wilson’s church of “What’s Happenin’ Now!” LOL
4Y’all, it’s worth going to the article in Willamette Week (link in JJ’s article) to read the comments. There are some wickedly witty ones!
5Houser thinks that gay people are going to hell.
That means she thinks that Democrats are going to hell because of course all Democrats are gay.
6I agree with Texas Expat – the commentators are like JJ’s posters – a cut above the norm.
7“Who’s going to Hell?”
8“People like you.”
“Who’s going to Heaven?”
“People like me.”
(pause)
“You need to work on your threats.”
Our Lady of the Perpetual Exemption, John Oliver’s church, has sadly been disbanded due to would-be members mailing in their “seed” (and it wasn’t money) which overwhelmingly raised the EWWWWW factor. Now that Saint Security Kiosk and Bible Belters has taken over the mall, perhaps the previously mentioned mailings will find a home.
9What hold has Houser got on the powers-that-be at G4S Security Solutions? Or are they as loopy, and does the G4S stand for “God For Us”?
Whichever, I’m glad that’s not a mall I will ever have any reason to visit.
10So y’ll should know that my post-retirement income plan includes my yet to be founded “Church of All Worlds (and Radiator Repair Shop)”. Radiators and souls saved, while yew wait.
11Has this person been checked for Mad Cow Disease?
12You wouldn’t believe how many of them church ladies drink to the point of insanity! That’s the point just beyond annoyance.
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