Holy Crap: Going Straight to Gay Hell Edition
This morning I wondered at my keyboard —
What the hell is the punishment for buying a tasty alcoholic beverage at 2:01 am in Fayetteville, North Carolina? If they need military grade weapons to enforce it, remind me not to bar hop in Fayetteville, North Carolina.
I’d like to change that. Remind me never to go to Fayetteville, North Carolina.
Today is President Jimmy Carter’s 90th birthday. He’s spending it building houses.
However, preachers in Fayetteville, North Carolina, are celebrating by using weapons grade gospel to say that Jimmy Carter is going to hell for saying that Jesus is some sort of “hippy gay Jesus.”
While speaking to students at Grand Rapids Community College last month, Carter had responded to a question about LGBT rights.
“I never knew of any word or action of Jesus Christ that discriminated against anyone,” the former president said, adding that discrimination based on sexual orientation was like prejudice against a person for their skin color or financial status.
But, that’s not right.
In an online “sermon” for the Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville, North Carolina, Senior Pastor Sean Harris and Student Pastor David McManus expressed outrage at Carter’s remark.
“We’ll embrace the hippy, you know, Jesus loves everybody kind of picture of Christ, and ignore the fact that, you know, he was very exclusive in who he dealt with, and who was in the Kingdom,” McManus opined.
“We pray that Carter is converted, and that he doesn’t go to hell,” he concluded. “The reality is, we all go to heaven or hell. And when you have so disregarded so much of the Bible, you wonder. I mean, you just wonder. You don’t have a warm fuzzy that the man is born again.”
Phew! I bet Jimmy Carter is relieved that Baptist preachers are th eons deciding who is going to heaven.
I know I am, too.
Thanks to Deb for the heads up.
It’s only that I had a migrane(sp?) last night and didn’t get any sleep and dragged myself out of bed at 11:00am that I am able to see this pop up . . . .
Don’t they even hear themselves???? I’ll be ever so grateful if there is a god that I end up in Jimmy Carter’s Heaven/Hell when I go.
1“he was very exclusive in who he (Jesus) dealt with”
I recall the money changers at the temple being dealt with by Jesus. Matthew, Mark, Luke or John didn’t mention whether they were gay.
And what about his comments to the wealthy that it would be easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle? Probably not just the gay rich either.
2I love Jimmy Carter. He served quietly, then went from President to homebuilder of the kind closest to Christ of any ex-POTUS, ever. Habitat gets regular donations from me on purpose.
3You’ll notice that the good(?) pastors didn’t offer a single instance which proves what President (emeritus) Carter said. They simply asserted their own interpretation of who they think Jesus associated with leaving out the prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers, and others considered undesirable back in that day.
4President Carter building homes or the ‘chosen ones’ fleecing their flocks, is there even a question of moral between the two examples? I’ll take swinging a hammer with President Carter any day over slinging the bull with the haters.
5Is that what McManus calls his church, the “Kingdom Country Club?” No LGBT allowed?
Bet another bunch of folks aren’t allowed in there either, with it being “exclusive” and all…
6Let’s go to the Bible and see who Jesus was clear about:
Whores, lepers, the poor, children, that short guy in Jericho, the Good Samaritan i.e. the foreigner, “the disciple Jesus loved” in a totally non-gay way, and the thief crucified next to him were going to heaven.
Who was going to hell? Rich guys, chief priests, hypocrites – especially the theatrically religious – and money changers.
Jesus was a 99 Percenter!
7Ditto JJ’s earlier visitors and amen. President Carter is about as close to a saint as I’m liable to see in my life. If he’s not going to be in Heaven, I’ll be happy to go wherever he ends up, and I doubt I’ll have to put up with any KKKristians there. Won’t that be heavenly?
8“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye”
9I’m sorry, but these two pastor types really have their shorts in a knot over this Heaven and Hell nonsense. The Southern Baptists evidently are flummoxed that they don’t have one James Earl “Jimmy” Carter under their mind control. Keep on hammering Mr. President.
10Yep President Carter is in DFW Thursday building with Habitat.
11You know I tried following the link you know but the link you know took me to a page you know with a big ole you know picture of the reverend you know harris and you know I kinda you know forgot you know why I you know followed the link you know cause you know I didn’t you know have a you know point.
12They have NO idea who Jesus was, or what He stood for.
13Jesus hug out with prostitutes, not preachers.
He knew which was the better class of person.
14“We’ll embrace the hippy, you know, Jesus loves everybody kind of picture of Christ, and ignore the fact that, you know, he was very exclusive in who he dealt with . . .” Yes, Jesus was exclusive. He dealt with sinners, prostitutes, thieves, lepers, the terminally ill and demon possessed. He did not deal with the rich, the leaders, the self-satisfied.
This so called “preacher” needs to go back to Sunday school and learn what’s actually in the Bible, not to try to rewrite it to fit his prejudices. The primary level would be appropriate.
15I’ve always figured that the Jeebus,being who he was and where he was from, probably looked a lot more like Yasser Arafat than the Wehrmacht recruiting poster minus shave and haircut representation we usually get in western art.They’d probably not let the guy into this phony’s “church”. Probably couldn’t get into the country club this charlatan undoubtedly belongs to either. I don’t know about anyone else but that photo of the reverend made my gaydar clang.
16What a choice! Between a man who has followed what Jesus taught and a man who has twisted those ideas for self-aggrandizement . I’ll stick with Jimmy.
17Teh Gerg, “primary level” would be too advanced. Give them a coloring book, remove all the white and yellow crayons from their boxes and watch them fumble at coloring their white mind image of their Jesus.
The KKKristian and Dominionist brethren worship a god of their own design, one designed to make them right and mighty and to hell with everyone else. “Share” isn’t in their buybull.
18Very few have really studied the gospels or the history of the time or their culture so almost NO preacher knows what they are talking about.
19Also Carter is helping people by DOING something,
the fat cat preacher raking in money from the gullible.
Which one should I listen to????? Tough decision? NOT!!!!
We’re paying their taxes, BTW. Can’t we at least do something about that?
20Yeah, yeah, Jesus was exclusive in who he wanted around him. Prostitutes, drunks, tax collectors, poor people, Roman soldiers, foreigners…
…anybody but those who made a big deal of their religion, took the seats of honor, bragged about their piety, and told other people they were going to hell.
Sometimes you wonder if these people have even ever READ the Gospels, esp. Matthew.
And that face. Please, dear Lord, when you show mercy to that fellow, for mercy’s sake do something with his face. Let it look friendly, and gentle, and loving, and kind and not so completely crazy-mean.
21I’m not at all sure that I want to go to Baptist Heaven, especially if people like Harris and McManus are there, while Carter and gays aren’t.
It would be Hell.
22Never met up with Jimmy Carter while he was here in Washington, but there is a spin off of a sort from Habitat for Humanity. Its called Habitat Re-store. Folks around here donate dang near anything and everything from their house and yard, as long as its useable. There’s a section here of the county that gets flooded big time when it rains and everything they own gets ruined. They can’t afford contractors so they do the work themselves and go to the Re-store to get kitchen cabinets, stoves, refrigerators, bedroom sets, and all kind of furniture and things right down to sauce pans. This is where those 2 pastors wouldn’t want to be seen and if they did they would consider it slumming. Right in the midst of the struggling masses living paycheck to paycheck on minimum wage. Lots of them don’t look at all like them pastors, or speak the same language. These people won’t give up on their wet homes and they help each other. No country clubbers here. And I’ll take these people over what purports to be people any day.
23PKM, you get the prize for “buybull”. Great play on the word and that’s about what you get from those whited sepulchers.
24Great article, JJ, but there’s an error: Jimmy Carter’s birthday falls on the first of October. Hypocrite Domionist preachers? Who cares when they were born!!
25“You’re going to hell.”
26“Who’s in hell?”
“People like you.”
“Who’s in heaven?”
“People like me.”
“You need to work on your threats.”
Gotta say that President Carter is a true Christian who walks his talk – and helps not only Americans here with his Habitat For Humanity Work (what a great example he is!) but also for the work his foundation does overseas to eradicate the guinea worm that causes extreme pain to its host – people! http://www.cartercenter.org/health/guinea_worm/index.html
President Carter is definitely a person to admire for his selflessness as well as his commitment to others. I had the distinct honor of listening to him talk about his foundation’s work a number of years back and I was totally impressed.
Those pastors? Not so much 🙁
27Can’t add a thing. Those people are not worth talking about. So I won’t. President Carter, on the other hand, deserves all the good karma he gets. What a guy. A real example of what christians used to be before they redesigned themselves into the present form. It’s their own fault. They don’t even deserve our pity.
28Here is the definitive, factual, scientific evidence of exactly what heaven and hell are: (It’s long but entirely worth it. Trust me.) (Of couse, the 2 idiot pseudo pastors in the post are wrong.)
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
The following is the actual answer turned in by a student to a question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term exam. The answer was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the internet, and that is the reason we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you’, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ……… leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
29Senior Pastor Sean Harris and Student Pastor David McManus of the Berean Baptist Church, since you feel entitled to say that Jesus was “exclusive” and that Jimmy Carter is destined for hell, i feel entitled to identify the both of you as servants of the Antichrist.
30I tend to think that all these Hellfire and Brimstone preachers go to Hell and that’s what’s causing global warming.
31The pastor is dead right that Christ was pretty damn exclusive on who he associated with: lepers, tax collectors, prostitutes, poor fishermen, and the marginalized of all kinds – and the Roman centurion and his “boy”/slave, which in historical context would probably have been assumed to be a sexual relationship ( http://queeringthechurch.com/2013/03/15/let-us-remember-march-15-th/ )
The people he was dead against, were people like Pastor Harris himself – those who saw themselves as religious police, and saw scrupulous adherence to rigid law as more important than the most important commandment of all – to love God, and to love your neighbour as yourself, and those who clung to their riches instead of following the Gospels.
32It’s totally like, you know, as if Carter were so totally like correct …. totally, you know.
Who knew that “valley speak” was a Republican tongue.
33So it was “hippy Jesus” who loved everyone. Sorry, but that was the entire message of the New Testament and His reason for coming. They. Just. Don’t. Get. It.
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