Holy Crap: From Now On God Only Speaks to Sarah Edition
Sarah Palin is hearing voices again. She’s just passing along a message …
God wants Obama to be impeached and God “does not drive parked cars.” Y’all, seriously, I do not know where the whole “God does not drive parked cars” came from. It’s pretty much my observation that God drives whatever God wants to, whenever God wants, to wherever God wants.
When you listen to this, help me out. These new speech patterns she has, you know, with the very odd rhythm of unconnected phrases and random emphasis … is that a thing?
Yeah, I think it’s a thing.
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
Yeah, odds are it’s a drug or an alcohol thing. The woman has some serious problems. I managed to watch about three minutes of it, and she is more wacko every time she gives a speech.
1Just watched the 52 seconds you linked to. It was like a very creepy church meeting. Her next career choice seems obvious…tv evangelist. I think she’s working on her material.
2Who is this “we” she rattles on about? Does she have worms? Me and my worms are gonna dethrone god?
3The glasses — they would look good next to Rick Perry dontcha think?
4Hmmm…how can one lose one’s mind if one had none to begin with? Is a puzzlement.
5As someone who has worn glasses since I was nine, I resent Ms. Palin co-opting my intellectual look.
6Especially since she’s brainless. I am very grateful she and Rick Perry never mated and reproduced….the word salad would have been unbearable—not just funny strange like those two….my, oh, my!
I think the “driving parked cars” is one of those phrases that means something to the religious right. It means something like in order to let God control your life, you have to be doing something. God can’t take the wheel if your foot is on the brake. (Why not? Can’t he cut the brake line?)
7scary to think that she was a (or could have been) a heartbeat away from being leader of the most powerful nation on earth…..
8Let’s give Sarah Palin the credit she deserves. The woman keeps exploring new frontiers of stupidity and incoherence. She is the Queen of Dumb.
9Bovine spongiform encephalopathy (BSE) in its final stages?
10Palin is a “rill” village idiot! It’s beyond me who would even pay to see/listen to her.
11Is she turning into Ann Coulter, but without the benefit of two working brain cells?
12It’s a slam poetry thing. Don’t ask me why she’s doing it, though.
13She’s drunk or high.
14That was scary. She truly sounds brain-damaged to me. But then I never did think that she would recognize a logical, rational train of thought if one hit her in the small of the back.
15On the parked car thing, I think she ran into a valet named Jesus and became confused. Seeing as how that is her state of existence is seems so natural.
16“… is that a thing?”
Yeah, a dumb thing. And creepy as hell too.
17“Were not going to give that up to someone who wants to play God”?
ROTFLMAO
Good Grief. Has Sarah met Ted Cruz and his dad?
18Elise Von Holten says: @ #6–
“I am very grateful she and Rick Perry never mated and reproduced…”
What a pitch for a scifi/horror/fantasy movie:
“Spawn of Zombie Succubus and Cthlulhu Attack From the Depths (of idiocy)!”,
19aaiiieeee….
Certifiably insane comes to mind.
20If God was going to talk to us through someone, I think He would pick someone who could actually string a coherent sentence together.
21God drives a Pontiac.
22You can see it in the Genesis verse, “In His Fury, God drove Adam and Eve out of the garden.”
“Park cars” translates as resistance to God. Only a change of heart can overcome that resistance. Its a DYI thing. Those epiphanies like Paul had while on the road somewhere just don’t happen very often at all.
23Going farther out on the limb of Über Christian Dominionism, Ms. Palin is seeking new sources of revenue from the gullible people of this country, who are willing to hand over their hard-earned income to every grifter on the stage.
24Have no clue who/what she’s addressing. I guess it’s some people. I reckon she’s being paid. And yeah she’s workin’ it to be some televangelist I’ll never watch but be forced to pay for on my shitty cable system like the rest and home shopping.
25Sorry Ginny,but Fury was a Plymouth auto or a coal black stallion on Saturday morning teevee when I was young and dumb.
26She just meant get up and get going. One of my faVorite Bible verses is when Moses told the people fleeing Egypt to just pray to God and he will take care of you. God said to Moses, tell the people to quit praying and start moving. I’m for that. Seems to me that the GOP has already preempted the seats of power and trying to take even more. Google koch brothers and incandescent light bulbs. They’re fighting in Congress for incandescent light bulbs. I thought it was funny in the GOP platform but they ARE. WE’RE the ones who need to get up and get moving. You want me to make you a yard sign?
27Here’s the earliest reference I could find:
http://constitutionallyspeaking.wordpress.com/2009/12/04/god-doesnt-drive-parked-cars/
I don’t know where $carah picked it up, and I don’t care.
28Gawd does not need a car, it is everywhere…supposedly.
29Origuy and Maggie are right. Zyxomma–I notice the 2009 date–looks like Sarah has been using that phrase for awhile now.
Was just thinking that American Taliban/evangelical insanity is out in the open now. Back in the ’90s the crazies outside women’s clinics would call the cops & complain that pro-choice escorts were “trying to push us out into traffic” etc., & we’d suggest, “Tell the officer what you were telling us about the demons on the parking lot,” but the anti-choicers knew better than to do so. Now their crazy world-view is right out there on the 6 o’clock news, not to mention State Houses and the US Congress.
30I watched the shorter clip. I recognize and remember the lip-licking and cotton-mouthy noises from my misspent youth, so my guess is pills.
31She is either drunk or on pills. This is bad even for her
32Let us not forget that it was Senator John McCain who inflicted this colossal idiot upon the American people. Thanks to McCain we are now forced to hear if not listen to whatever gibberish the voices in Palin’s head are screaming.
33Boy she sure looks “purty” though. Much like the rest of us, empty vessels went out for us twenty years ago when we were in college. It really says something that she’s sticking around.
34She looks and sounds demented to me.
35To e platypus onion: You’re right. It was a Plymouth. Or FURY—the story of a horse, and a boy who loved him. Peter Graves played the dad.
36I think this is a pretty good indication that Sarah is writing her own speeches.
37Nobody drives parked cars. Parked cars do not move.
38Nobody drives parked cars. Parked cars do not move.
39It’s been a long time since I sang it, but doesn’t “Onward Christian Soldiers” have a line about God not driving a parked car into battle at verse 37 of the 5th revised standard version?
40I swear god was Meatloaf’s chaffeur in the song-“Paradise By the Dashboard Lights.” Stands to reason someone had to be there to do the play by play. If god wasn’t there,how could it have been paradise,darn it?
41Jesus Take the Wheel
42It may just be the perception of this one atheist, but I believe that the atheist movement is growing a lot faster than the theocratic movement.
I wonder if Mrs. Palin understands how much she is helping our side?
43Okay, time for an intervention. Somebody has to step in and prevent this woman from harming herself and others.
44First, I am speechless on SP ‘s current attempt at communication, but I think perhaps, just perhaps, the
45“parked cars” comment refers to recent news footage of President Obama ‘driving’ a car simulator and making the comment that it’s been a long time since he’s been behind the wheel of a car. (WA Post 7/15 ‘Obama tests self-driving car’).
Nope, after reading the 2009-link above (after sending my comment!) I now see it’s just weird timing and her long used weird expression. :-/
46And to think that this pathetic individual actually was a candidate six years ago for Vice President of the United States.
47Thinking of my late husband just reminded me of something he said about SP. He spent a lot of his youth tinkering with old fashioned radios. At one point he was temporarily in the far north and discovered that radio transmissions acted strangely, disappearing and then re-appearing, sometimes fading just enough to be intriguing and popping up again as sentence fragments that didn’t make any sense. I will clean up his conclusion on SP’s speaking “talent” a little. “She needs her radio fixed.” Anyone else out there want to guess the word her used instead of radio, knock yourselves out.
48@Julie — just what I’ve been thinking. At this point it’s hard to say who is more delusional, Sarah or her family.
49God told me He really can’t stand Sarah Palin.
50