Hi! I’m Trixie, Your Friendly Weather Girl
You’ve heard about the big hurricane headed straight for Tampa? Personally, I’m with Pat Robertson on this one – hurricanes are God’s way of punishing evil people.
But, I am willing to use my whole two hours at meteorology school to solve all the problems this might cause Republicans.
So, the way I see it, the Republicans have three choices:
1. Stand outside the convention hall and blow all their hot air counterclockwise, neutralizing the hurricane rotation.
2. Duck, cover, and shut the hell up.
3. Quit being spiteful in the eyes of the Lord.
Since #1 and #3 are almost impossible for them to do, I would suggest that #2 is their only viable alternative. I will even send duct tape if that will help.
I did have to laugh last night when a Republican official said that they had a contingency plan if their convention had to be cancelled. Yeah, vote Democratic.
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first smile of the day. thank you.
1Probably the best hope for the Republican party these days is to vote Democratic.
Suppose Pat Robertson will say the hurricane is God’s judgment on the GOP for their war on women? I’m not holding my breath.
2Love the billboard so much, I just might schedule a vacation in Tampa. AFTER they clean up all the stupid and mean slime trails left over from the Repubs.
3Seriously, where is Pat Robertson when you need him?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_Katrina_as_divine_retribution
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvxHExoZqug
4The crazies who dominate the GOP are turkeys. What do turkeys famously do when caught out in a storm? They look up, with their mouths open, and drown. And those turkeys gathering in Tampa always seem to have their mouths open. Hmm!
5They gave up naming hurricanes with only women’s names quite a few years ago (a good thing, of course, since it was mildly discriminatory), but for the first time I regret it. Why Isaac? Why not Irene or Isabella or Imelda? If the Repubs do get smote I wish it would be by something that connotes lady parts.
6Sir Isaac just maybe, if we are lucky, cause them a lot of problems~only at the RNC part of Tampa, not for the “Real Americans” who are Democrats~
Signed,
Fake Snowbilly Grifter
7Juanita,
Your line “It’s Houston”, duh, makes me laugh – people outside Texas in particular are CLUELESS as to the oil and gas industry and its TENTACLES….I began my legal career in Austin in 1975 where my boss was Exxon’s “outside counsel” (hell, Exxon only had 120 in-house lawyers then) and he practiced before the Texas Railroad Commission. I can really confuse what is left of the Drill Baby Drill…know-nothings~you could also have said, “It’s Dallas” or simply, “It’s TEXAS for Pete’s Sake”, I’m running for office~
8Sorry, wrong story, but ya’ll know that~
9If the hurricane hits the Republican convention, they won’t need any assistance from FEMA. They remember the good old days of George Bush, and have Brownie already stationed on standby in Baton Rougue, ready to do another heck of a job.
10Aruba, Jamaica, Isaac’s gonna blow ya
To Bermuda, Bahama, those who hate Obama
The key called, Siesta, won’t be a fiesta
On the Florida Coast
There’s a place called Tampa Bay
It’s where Conservatives play
At being humans and such
Speakers on the stage
Will try and steal a page
From the Democrat’s script
And pretend they are not full of rage
Way down in Tampa Bay
(refrain)
Aruba, Jamaica, Isaac’s gonna blow ya
To Bermuda, Bahama, those who hate Obama
The key called, Siesta, won’t be a fiesta
Down in Tampa Bay
They’ll get there only to get blown away
And they’re not even gay
Way down in Tampa Bay
That’s how, it’s done, per Pat Robertson
They’ll float out to sea
Mitt, Paul, and their coterie
Who hate all girls and anyone in poverty
Just a hurricane
Gunning for the King of Bain
And his acolyte slugs
Thumping Bibles while Atlas shrugs
Way down in Tampa Bay
(refrain)
Christie’s nice, as a floating device
All the experts say
That after Tampa Bay
That there will be no way
For them to win at all
Down in Tampa Bay
(repeat refrain to fade)
11Okay, let’s put this sucker up for Grammy. Bitching Betty and the Sequined Backhoes are headed to the recording studio.
12daChipster, better and better. With each post.
13Is it too much to ask that all of Florida just sinks, gets blown away while all the blowhards are there…pretty please
14If fat boy Limbaugh (my new iPod keeps spelling it limb ugh) is going to be there it would be a dream come true…just wishing
daChipster, when do I get that song on YouTube?
15@Elise … no, no … I have relatives and an old high school classmate living in Florida … in fact, her and her hubby live in The Villages … don’t know which side of the aisle [or Isle] they are on … but we can only hope that Hurricane Isaac is choosy and only pick off the RNC crowd!!
@daChipster … excellent song writing … love it!!!
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