Hey Ted, Can You Loan Me a Dime?

July 27, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Well, this is just dandy.  Two billionaire brothers, usually intensely private, just dumped $15 million on Ted Cruz.

ted-cruz-really-24784_186x186The brothers made their money in fracking and stay very low profile because they belong to a crazybutt church that takes every single word in the Bible literally which means they cannot explain if Adam and Eve had belly buttons.

As of last year, they owned more than 310,000 acres of land in the state, making them Montana’s largest private landowners, according to The Billings Gazette.

Today, Forbes pegs their net worth at about $1.4 billion each.

At the heart of their life, still, is the Assembly of Yahweh, which preaches a mix of Christianity and Judaism and holds the Bible as infallible.

They gave this damfool $15 million to make their religion seem normal.

Neither Ted nor the Assembly of Yahweh are normal.

 

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0 Comments to “Hey Ted, Can You Loan Me a Dime?”


  1. Ted will be on The Daily Show tonight with Jon Stewart.
    Should be interesting.

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  2. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    That is ironic. The Assembly of Yahweh looking to Daffy Cruz Jr. for the specter of normalcy. A of Y must be one of the sects that doesn’t believe in print, TV or the internet, or they’d be running from the spawn of Daffy Cruz, Sr. Dumbass meet delusional; you can divvy up the who is who between yourselves.

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  3. AliceBeth says:

    Let them waste their money. It does not bother me one bit.

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  4. Wa Skeptic says:

    The Separation of Church and State is more needed now than ever.

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  5. There is no tellin’ up from down with these people. What they won’t look out for is that their good fortune could be their downfall. Daffy Cruz???? Come on, people!

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  6. So what are their names?

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  7. Marcia in CO says:

    I just shake my head in disbelief …

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  8. Hollyanna says:

    If they really are determined to pee their money away…he probably views it as blessings raining upon him. Just another delusional religious nutbag!

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  9. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Debbo that would be Dan and Farris Wilks of Texas. Fracking bozos have their eyes set on some BLM land and are out to buy themselves a president. Rich obviously, but not too bright.

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  10. maryelle says:

    Listen to the sound of $15 million flushing down the toilet.
    Might need the plunger to help it on its way. Carnival Cruz has no chance of getting the nomination nor winning the presidency.
    Mr. Grandstand may add to his income, but this is not money well spent.

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  11. No wonder they’re a bit strange: Farris has 11 children, according to Forbes. Dan has a mere 6, but he’s a few years younger. They’re willing to foul everyone else’s air, soil, and water (in the name of Yahweh, no doubt, but I’ll bet they wouldn’t be willing to move their families next to a fracking site.

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  12. maryelle, you say they are flushing $15 million down the toilet, but I suspect that it is money well spent. He may not become president, but for people worth almost $2.5 billion between them, $15 million is a pittance. And a small price to pay for having a sitting US senator in your pocket.

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  13. If they believe every word in the Bible is literally true then they haven’t read it, or their brains shorted out on the parts that contradict each other. No wonder they think Cruz is sane and moral, a concept that makes me gag.

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  14. Looks like Ted didn’t make it to the Daily Show, Jon can hardly contain himself

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  15. Elise Von Holten says:

    That face would curdle milk…with such a big cash infusion, you would think he could get a real smile going, instead of his usual smirkyness.

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  16. Marge Wood says:

    I don’t care if they take the Bible literally. What I care about is, do they feed the hungry and clothe the naked and house the homeless and be peace makers. Is their man Cruz interested in those issues?

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  17. Marge Wood says:

    And I’m sure that Cruz look is what got Cruz to be the teacher’s favorite one to hate because he probably was polite while sneering at her.

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  18. Pancho Sanza says:

    Some people’s faces just seem to scream “Punch me!” I don’t know why. Scott Walker’s face says “Slap the smirk off of me”.

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  19. publius balonius says:

    I always catch a whiff of Eddie Haskell in the air.

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  20. capitol dave says:

    I’m really sorry, PKM, but all I could see when I read your post was that Daffy Cruz Jr, was the sphincter of normalcy, rather then the specter. I shall try to be less juvenile in the future.

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  21. @Pancho Sanza
    You bring up a good point. I have a 4 D-cell flashlight with which I’d like the chance to whack a couple of those boys.

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  22. AliceBeth says:

    Eddie Haskell is the perfect reference. Slimy, smarmy and totally insincere.

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  23. Where are the birthers?

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