Hey, Marco, And You’re Not Much of a Man Either, Man
Marco Rubio has decided that the best way to run for President is to empty your brain.
Don’t laugh. It got Sarah Palin the nomination.
Marco has decided to bring new levels of achievement to the field of flip flopping.
In an interview published in the December issue of GQ magazine, Michael Hainey asked the potential 2016 presidential candidate how old he thought the Earth was.
“I’m not a scientist, man,” Rubio replied. “I can tell you what recorded history says, I can tell you what the Bible says, but I think that’s a dispute amongst theologians and I think it has nothing to do with the gross domestic product or economic growth of the United States.”
First off, man, are you suggesting that creationist are scientists?
Second off, man, have you come to the earth shattering conclusion that not taking a position on any issue frees you from flip flopping? You flipped a coin and it landed on its edge?
Third off, man, do you see any correlation at all between being able to make a decision about reality and being able to make a decision about economics? Man? Do you?
There’s an old Texas politician story about a mayoral candidate being asked about building more city parks. He replied, “Some of my friends are for building more parks. Some of my friends are against it. Me? I’m for my friends.”
That’s Marco Rubio, man.
You think these mans would have learned. When faced with any question of fact, reality or science the RIGHT answer is the right answer: “Science says about 4.5 billion years. I accept this number without disparaging the personal beliefs of many in the inerrancy of the Bible. But I stand for what I believe in.”
That’s how Chip Collis, retired political operative, would counsel his candidates to answer.
Marco’s way says, “I stand for nothing except my own career, and say whatever is necessary not to hurt it.” How’d that work out for the LAST man, man?
As for the bifurcated teaching of reality, I have a simple solution:
Sunday School: Rock of Ages
Public School: Ages of Rocks
If he keeps this up, well, I have a list of….
Other Things Marco Rubio is Not, Man:
A philosopher
1An economist
A particularly good reader
A doctor
A son of political refugees
A future President, Vice President or two-term Senator
Hey Marco, Tell us where you think oil comes from, man.
2@Lorraine … hand raised … oh, oh, oh, I know the answer to that question … OLIVES … LOL And maybe some of those canola things!!
3Hey, Marco, Tell us how well you’ve managed your personal finances, man.
Hey, Marco, Tell us about how close you are with your good friend, David Rivera, man.
4@Marcia You win the internets today!
5Sniveling, ain’t he? When your political future depends upon being the dumbest rock in the box, so as not to turn off your electorate, rest assured that Republicanites will raise aggressive ignorance to an art form. I am convinced that should the GOP ever discover an under-served cannibal voting bloc, they’ll be eating YOUR children by lunchtime. Yummy!
6That would be the same Marco Rubio who is a member of the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation?
7Question: How many bones are there in the human body?
Marco: I’m not a doctor, man.
8man! what in hell does this mean?: “I can tell you what recorded history says, I can tell you what the Bible says”
9not only does this not say anything, it’s simply nonsense. recorded history doesn’t have anything to do with the age of Earth and neither does the bible. he’s simply shown he’s willing to say any nonsense to align himself with all comers.
A clear case of alienating the reality based community in order to pander to a specific interest group. Would Mittens call that a “gift” to the fundamentalist, KJV is literally true, conservative, right-wing, straight, white, males?
10@publius bolonius – Maybe we could take advantage of the dumbest rock in the box approach by selling an updated version of the Pet Rock –
11Republican Pet Rock Ina Box
* Guaranteed under 6000 years old!
* Will not change position!
* Walked on by dinosaurs AND people (proves creationism)!
* Like the American public, does not need Health Care!
Wow man, like, cool, daddy-o. Yeah, Marco’s one hep cat. Not only is he not into science man, but revealed that he has favorite rap artists, a genre that’s been around for 25 years. Take that, Beastie Boy wannabe Paul Ryan!
Great way to show relevance, man. To Republicans over 60 he’ll sound like their dream of a GOP voice for ethnic youth. To actual young people he’ll just sound like a dork.
12@ Lorraine … oh, wow … I won! Woohoo!
13@Rick
100% fat free! Also.
I like that idea a lot. Too bad the Teabillies are impervious to satire, but many a lib will purchase one just for a good laugh. Hmmm, think I’ll make a mock-up (one of my past jobs) for some no cost fun. Who knows? Might make a good Xmas goof gift. If I actually get-around-to-it I’ll send it to JJ
14Well, this might be proof that Republicans are not that bright and completely misread the election. They seem to think all they have to do is “reframe” their message for women and Latinos and that a few Hispanic guys pushing the same junk will solve their problems.
Repubs thought that they did not do a good job of explaining conservatism to everyone, or that the rest of us did not understand their message. The fact is we got the message. Corporate fascism and feudal theocracy are not that appealing to a lot of us.
15The election post-mortem continues, and man, they just don’t get it, man. Oh man, they just keep whining, man. So, is this the new GOP, man? And is this how you’re going to be the new “with-it, man” party who understands where it’s “groovy” and “where-it’s-all-happening” party, man? Oh, man, thanks to all of you for your astute comments — man.
16@Marcia and Lorraine, does it make it funnier or meaner if we point out that canola oil comes from the rape plant? And won’t Popeye get upset if Cruz goes after Olive Oyl?
Great answer, Marcia. Gave me the giggles.
17Marco makes Dumb look good.
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