He’s Two Years Old

April 12, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I rarely tell tales about my fabulous redheaded grandson, but this one seems appropriate now.  He had just turned two when his Uncle’s birthday party was at a fancy restaurant.  I had promised him cake and he was not going to let me off the hook.  When the cake arrived he was gloriously amazed.  “Gigi,” he said in amazement, “it’s cake AND it’s chocolate.” Until that moment he thought all cake was vanilla and all chocolate was M&Ms, but here were the two favorite things all in one.  It was adorable because he’s, you know, two years old.

Now I take you to Donald Trump, who is supposedly older than two years old.

He’s describing the night he took ole Syria down.

I was sitting at the table.  We had finished dinner.  We’re now having dessert.  And we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you’ve ever seen and President Xi was enjoying it.

And I was given the message from the generals that the ships are locked and loaded, what do you do?

And we made a determination to do it, so the missiles were on the way.  And I said, Mr. President, let me explain something to you.  This was during dessert.

We’ve just fired 59 missiles, all of which hit, by the way, unbelievable, from, you know, hundreds of miles away, all of which hit, amazing.

It’s so incredible. It’s brilliant. It’s genius.

And that wasn’t even the looniest thing he said in the interview.

And yes, by the way, they all hit. The ground. They all hit the ground but not much else.

 

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0 Comments to “He’s Two Years Old”


  1. I just watched clip he said Iraq at first, oops.

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  2. charles phillips says:

    Somebody, PLEASE HELP ME!!! My eyes are rolling so fast and so hard I’m screwing myself into a wall!

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  3. Does Trump realize that while military technology may have aspects of genius (in a nasty way), none of it is his genius?

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  4. maryelle says:

    Trump takes credit for everything, even the chocolate cake.

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  5. Maryelle, and even the time of day.

    Hey, those genius rockets were so good they completely missed Assad’s front door. Tell me that wasn’t intentional.

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  6. Oh my…bless his heart.

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  7. @Tony

    My maternal grandmother and grandfather descended from families which originating around Baldwyn, Mississippi. I can hear EVERY female in those clans, upon hearing this story, gently shake their head of curls, and say “Oh my … bless his heart, but he’s purty.” No doubt many of them voted for him, and would again.

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  8. two crows says:

    I swear to you, this is a true story:
    Tonight, I was watching Tweety on the teevee machine when I couldn’t take it anymore. So I turned it off and got on email and wrote a friend the following:

    “What I would give for a president who could speak at a higher than 4th grade level.”

    Then I got on here and read this. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

    Only, JJ I believe you hit nearer the mark. Two years old is far closer than my assessment.

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  9. two crows says:

    @ Maymoon:

    I guess we can thank our lucky stars he didn’t say “Nebraska.”

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  10. I didn’t approve (usually) when Obama did this stuff but at least he didn’t strut around like a banty rooster in a coop fulla hens. Not even when he took out bin Laden.

    I’m sure Trump got such a thrill from his awesome power and subsequent press-fluffing that he can hardly wait to do it again. He’s probably feeling about the same way as he did when he first discovered masturbation.

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  11. JJ, can we please have your gorgeous grandson as President? I know he’d do a better job. He’d be competent and sane and compassionate. What a nice change that would be.

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