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“Has anybody else but me ever noticed that John Boehner only cries about himself and how wonderful he is?” Juanita asks  the assembled coiffure-needy this morning.  “He doesn’t cry about little children who are sick, hungry,  needy, or horribly misinformed about the federal deficit.  He doesn’t cry about old people who can’t buy their medicine, don’t have enough to eat, can’t pay the electric bill, or tragically unable to make their yacht payments.”

“John Boehner only cries about John Boehner,” she announces.  “Oddly, I do, too.”

“John Boehner is a phoney.  And, you know what?  I think he knows it,” she suspects.

In a bill filled with cuts and the death of needed federal programs for people that Boehner doesn’t cry over is this little tidbit —

But buried deeply in these 359 pages of ugly surprises is a provision that would mean one community in America would do a lot better than all of the others. The legislation added an estimated $450 million for a particular bit of defense spending that the Department of Defense did not ask for and does not want.

The item is a down payment that would obligate the federal government to future payments that could well be three or four times the increased spending added to this particular piece of legislation, with a big portion of the funds flowing to two cities in Ohio—Cincinnati, where Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) grew up, and Dayton, the largest city in his congressional district.

“Son of a motherless goat!” she shouts.

“We should have seen this comin’ a mile off,” she continues.  “We know that beauty is only skin deep.  Same deal with fake suntans, except that the fake part goes all the way to the bone.”