Here’s the Truth
This morning I got an email from someone who wanted to know if I’m gonna keep the Beauty Salon open now that the election is over. Having been on the internet machine since 1997, you don’t have to check with Nate Silver to know odds are pretty good that I’m gonna hang around.
Besides, the Texas Lege starts meeting this January, and, Honey, that’s when the real fun starts.
In fact, it almost already has.
Meet Peter Morrison, a Texas GOP official, and the Loon du Jour.
Peter Morrison, Notoriously White
Mr. Morrison is all in a tither that Vermont has the same government that we do in Texas and there’s something just not right about that. He’s not real sure what that “not right” is, but he’s almost positive it has something to do with Barack Obama and the “maggots” who backed Obama.
No, seriously, he said maggots.
And he’s also disgusted with “non-whites” (who appear to be Asians and Hispanics in his mind), whom he accused of voting for the president on an “ethnic basis.” Not that Mr. Morrison did not vote for Obama on an ethnic basis, you know.
So, all this boils down to Peter Morrison wanting Texas to secede.
Let me stop here and tell you something semi-important. Mr. Morrison was selected by the State Board of Education to screen textbooks in Texas.
I know you remember the judge in Lubbock who predicted that there would be a civil war if Obama won. So it appears that there’s some infighting over who gets to be Robert E Lee.
The train to Crazy Land is at the station loading up. The Beauty Salon will remain open until it pulls out of the station.
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
I’m glad you’re keeping the beauty shop open. Over the past couple a months, you’ve become a daily stop on the regain my sanity tour.
1Oh, Good Grief. Here we go again.
Guys, just move to Somalia. No government, no taxes and no gun laws. Best part? They guys with the most guns rules, which is perfect for y’all. You can make your own rules & live happily ever after.
2Wow. Guess I’m a maggot, then. But that makes sense!
1) Maggots are white. I am very, very, VERY white.
2) Maggots are plump. ‘Nuff said.
3) Maggots are beneficial in medicine, as they debride wounds, eating away the diseased or unheathy tissue, leaving the healthy tissue alone and thriving.
I guess I’m Team Maggot. There should be cool jackets.
3So they try to secede? What do they think a hundred thousand soldiers at Ft. Hood will say about that? I mean, who do they think they are threatening, the Vermont National Guard?
4Doesn’t Texas threaten to secede every few years or so? After awhile that gets to be old news! Good Lord, JJ, how in the world do you and Bubba and the rest of the carriers-of-sanity genes actually survive? I guess by reading your blog everyday … I’m in CO, but I look at this blog several times a day and I’ve shared you a lot!!
Hang in there … Love & Hugs!!!
5Let’em go. I live in Michigan. We’re a donor state. We give more to the federal government than we receive . Texas is a parasite state. Lives off the rest of us. We’ll be glad to see you leave the union and give us donor states all of the government facilities in Texas that we paid for. I know lots of Texans don’t agree with Perry and his secession crowd. But, they don’t control the state.
6Asians and Hispanics? They just lump them all together, anyway. Heck, Sharon Engle couldn’t tell the difference.
7Oh no, JJ’s gotta stick around long enough for George P. Bush to run for office. The fun’s just beginning when Poppy Bush’s li’l brown ones are the GOP’s secret plan to reach out to Latinos.
8*Angle*
9daChipster says:
*Angle*
Heh heh, daChipster said ‘Angle’.
Best name of the day- Hardin County Republican Party chair Kent Batman. Bat**** Crazy’s husband?
10How come when some of the former white majority, become the minority they’re so threatened? As Christians they must have followed the Golden Rule and done unto latinos & blacks & asians & other whites what Jesus would have wanted them to do. If they did, they have nothing to be worried about.
11Remember the comment I made a few days ago to this article that JJ posted?
https://juanitajean.com/2012/11/07/someone-else-is-taking-it-pretty-hard-too/#comments
At the time i was making a joke, but now it looks like reality mimics humor! The next step is for Morrison to gain title to a few square miles in Big Bend Country and begin to fortify it …
12I liked the part where the Republican County Chairman sighed and said he guessed he’d have to start reading Morrison’s newsletters….
13As a “maggot” from Vermont I have to say I’m pleased with his comparison. This is pretty much a Lilly white State and we voted BIG for the Dems. And don’t forget , Bernie is our Senator.
14But if the crazies have their way, we would like : Austin, Houston, parts of Dallas, Willie Nelson, the Beautysalon, Fort Bend Democrats and some other things to be named later. BBQ, Pralines, cobbler and biscuits, would of course be negotiated.(We’re not big grits people up here, we are partial to Polenta, kind of the same thing)
And by the way, I wouldn’t suggest threatening us, we’re Progressives and we’re “Packin'”.
Well Carol, I’m in Houston, and I would be happy to be a Vermont colony, but please don’t make me move to where it snows! I’m delicate, you know.
15He must hate all the big cities in this state. They went for Obama.
Here is a sad situation: I never put my Obama bumper sticker on, after a friend told me her car was keyed twice for having one. There were tons of Romney/Ryan yard signs – much more than Obma/Biden. Yet, this area had more votes for Obama. What that really says is that one side is really geting nervous about the sanity and civility of the other side.
16Maggot?
17Just took a look at His photo again, went to the mirror- and I ain’t the maggot…
Just leaves one qualifier.
El Paso, Texas: The only city in the United States that could be nuked, and nobody’d notice the difference.
But no, New Mexico doesn’t want it.
And NO, they can’t have our water!!!
18A traffic reporter in Tulsa gave directions and advice to listeners who had stated they were moving to Canada if President Obama was re-elected. See here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/08/jeff-brucculeri-traffic-romney-supporters-canada_n_2094572.html?utm_hp_ref=media
19Wow. Vermont singled out as the antithesis of a Tea Party state? Well, I am flattered. No, y’all can’t move here.
20But seriously, Texas has some work to do, but the tide of history is against those ignorant racist tea baggers. I believe the Republithug super majority in your legislature was broken on Tuesday and that is just the beginning. The coffee-colored people are on the move and the old guard will just have to get out of the way.
Thanks again, Señor Morrison, for complimenting Vermont.
I think it would be fascinating to see what would happen to any Texas politician who actually got close to making secession a possibility.
21Well, personally I would rather be a maggot than brain dead like Morrison and most of the Texas Lege. Jes saying.
Juanita Jean, I’m so happy you’re not closing TWMDBS as we have a lot of work to do to increase the number of Democrats in Congress in just two years and to rip the reins of Texas out of the cold, dead hands of Perry.
22Under no circumstances shall you close The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon! We have to be able to trade craziness stories between Mississippi and Texas. And there will be craziness. I just hope the most violent thing that happens is my jeep gets keyed…again… And all I have on there right now is a “blue dot/red state” sticker. And I still get keyed.
I also have a bit of doggerel for the Salonites here, and especially for Lorraine in Spring…
23—–
Try Somalia, all you Teapartiers
That’s where you’ll really have fun!
They have no government; no one pays taxes…
And everyone owns a GUN!
—–
Lorraine’s suggestion of a Tea Party move to Somalia is spot on. They are going to have a hard time finding a first-world country that isn’t even mildly socialist…
Oh, the crazy is sure out there, and it’s feeling mean & nasty & butthurt right now.
If you have a strong stomach, take a look at this:
http://www.libertarianrepublican.net/2012/11/the-end-of-liberty-in-america-only.html
“I strongly urge all other libertarians to do the same. Are you married to someone who voted for Obama, have a girlfriend who voted ‘O’. Divorce them. Break up with them without haste. Vow not to attend family functions, Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas for example, if there will be any family members in attendance who are Democrats.
…
What I plan to do this week, is to get yard signs made up, at my own expense, that read, “EBT is for Welfare Moochers.” I will put the signs out on public property off of the right-of-way so it’s entirely legal, in front of every convenience store or grocery store that has a sign out saying “EBT Accepted Here.” I may even do some sign waving in front of these stores, holding up my “EBT is for Welfare Moochers,” sign, and waving to passers-by.
If I meet a Democrat in my life from here on out, I will shun them immediately. I will spit on the ground in front of them, being careful not to spit in their general direction so that they can’t charge me with some stupid little nuisance law. Then I’ll tell them in no un-certain terms: “I do not associate with Democrats. You all are communist pigs, and I have nothing but utter disgust for you. Sir/Madam, you are scum of the earth.” Then I’ll turn and walk the other way.”
Note that these sentiments seem to be widely shared in the comments….
Now, having shared this with you, if you all don’t mind I’m going to go scrub my brain with bleach.
24Where is he going to secede to? Mexico? Cuba?
25Vermont did seem to be the most Democratic state in the country– can’t recall which graphic I was using, but I wanted to know if MD was as %Dem as MA– in fact it was slightly more, yay us, but highest was VT at 67% for Obama.
I’d love to see those people secede. They make lousy Americans in my opinion because they seem to hold in contempt everything we stand for, from We the People to Huddled Masses Yearning To Breathe Free. Would hate to lose you and the Beauty Salon, though!
26Listen, honey, you gotta keep the beauty salon open til your fingers don’t work no more and then you can get one of them fancy computers that type what you talk. Then if you gotta quit we are going to secede from Tayuksis and start our own beauty salon but they ain’t nuthin’ like you, Juanita Jean. You say thangs that the rest of us kinda gasp because we ain’t got the nerve to say it. Oh I lied. I don’t have the nerve. I jist read all the nervy folks. I did get in a big argyment at the polls on election day but I’ll let you wonder jist in case I fergot to tell you about it.
27p.s. I ain’t agin’ Perry bein’ around. I think he oughta get a job as a truck driver, don’t you? I can imagine him telling stories at truck stops. You think the other guys would believe him?
28As a Proud and thankful customer to The Shop, I look forward to the way JJ & Co. will steer us thru the upcoming craziness of The Ledge; God knows we got our work cut out for us. 😉
29I want to know what the Sam Hill this Morrison fellow has done in his 33 years? Was he ever in the U.S. military, or did he strut around in some little local “militia” group that got drunk every weekend in their little cabin in the woods and talked big about what they were gonna do. Did he ever do one damn thing USEFUL for anybody? Or is he another loudmouth smartass who badly needs to grow up?
‘Cause here’s the thing. This is my country, and this is my state. Nobody is going to take my state out of my country without going through me, and I mean that literally. NO I don’t want Texas to leave the USA and by the way–I don’t appreciate being told somene wants to get rid of us, which includes me, who isn’t going to budge. I think the Texans talking secession are traitors, and I will tell them so. They’re also stupid, because look what happened last time. They should just get the hell out, but not try to take the state with them…because there are plenty of us (gerrymandered into invisibility, mostly) who have a deep and abiding love for Texas IN the United States.
I will bet you dollars to donuts that Morrison hasn’t ever so much as broken a sweat doing anything for the country OR Texas.
30I’m from a Canadian family. Spent a lot of my colorful youth there. I would love to see all the see-sechs try to make a successful life in the Great Big North. First of all, you will have to impress the border guards with your stability. Canadians are famous for keeping calm and carrying on. Not carrying arms, mind you. Just carrying on. And the Mounties! God, you will love them! Now that they haven’t worn the dress red uniforms in years, you can’t tell them apart from the rest of the crowd, but Lord love your butt, honey, they will hear you. That leads me to the judicial system. Yuh know how in this country a body can keep a law suit going until the Second Coming? Doesn’t work that way in Canada. Don’t believe in it. You got maybe one or two chances at most and thats it. Its there way of making sure one particular Yank doesn’t get in — Orly Tatz! And no I don’t care if I didn’t spell her name right! Oh, and the taxes! The U.S. has the mother lode of deductions. Canadians fiscally are like New Englanders. Buy it new, wear it out, make it do. Requires a great deal of maturity. So see-sechs. You are warned!
31Was this Nation founded on socialist principles or principles of liberty? It’s a simple question.
Was Thomas Jefferson a communist or a libertarian?
Was it: “Government is best which governs least.” Or rather”
“From each according to his ability; to each according to his need.
When you leftists make fun of libertarians with your snide remarks, you are making fun of the United States and the founding principles of the Nation.
32Amen EMoon
33I stole this from a commenter, (on this story) on TPMuckracker. He didn’t say I couldn’t.
“Let the mooching ass Red States secede as this old piece of comedy points out:
“Dear Red States
We’re ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we’ve decided we’re leaving.
We in California intend to form our own country and we’re taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren’t aware that includes New York, Hawaii, Oregon,
Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially
to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America
(E.S.A).
To sum up briefly:
You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get those ignorant fools at Ole’ Miss.
We get 85 percent of America ‘s venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama .
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch
of single moms.
With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the
country’s fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92%
of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95% of America’s quality wines (you can
serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of
the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living
redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese
Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US
mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99%
of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush
Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed
by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the death
penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that
Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you
are people with higher morals then we lefties.
We’re taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.
Sincerely,
A Citizen of the Enlightened States of America”
PS. We also get the best baseball teams. (Miemaw).
34184 1 •Reply•Share ›
Eric, Honey, go back over to the children’s table and stop bothering the adults. Sweetie, you lost. Big time. Learn to live with it or join the Taliban. We’re not against America; we’re against you. So, take it very personally and quit hiding behind a quote taken completely out of context.
35When someone looks crazy in Hardin County, home of Kountze, TX, they’re really crazy.
36Desperate yelps from a species that is disappearing due to demographic changes. The walls are closing in Mr. Morrison. Despite this, the Texas Republican establishment intends to work fast, through the right-wing activist judges on the Supreme Court, in an attempt to block the growing clout of Hispanic voters.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/09/supreme-court-new-look-voting-rights-act_n_2103642.html
37Juanita Jean, Eric Dondero is the name of the idiot who wrote the rant quoted in Lynne B’s above comments.
38If the definition of treason is conspiring to overthrow the government and that can be also state government, then when politicians say secede then aren’t they trying to overthrow the state government and shouldn’t their asses be in jail? sorry momma.
39Don’t worry Juanita. I won’t miss my appointments at TWMDBS. When Texas secedes we’ll still be able to visit if we come in through Arizona. Kind of like going to Cuba through Montreal or Mexico City.
40Eric,
“the founding principles of the Nation” included counting Africans as 3/5 of a person, slavery, and suffrage limited to land-owning white men.
Some of us are not satisfied with 18th century standards and we would like to bring America into the 21st century. Are you coming or do you want to stay behind?
41I still have my Austin/Travis County secede from Texas bumper sticker. But it is too late! Even as a Travis County resident, I am now represented by Republicans/Tea Party crazies at every level of government thanks to redistricting!
42I remember the Republicans saying something a lot from 2000-2008, after the Florida recount, after not finding WMD’s, after an “unspecified” orange alert right before the 2004 election, etc. What was it they always said? Oh yes, now I remember, “get over it.” Dear Republicans, we won, it’s our turn, get over it.
43Bravo Juanita Jean. I read his piece of sh*t column and all I have to say is, “you were Far too cordial!”
44Put a rattlesnake down his pants and turn him loose in a large desert.
Damn, I’m So mad I had to spell ck ‘desert’!!
@Lynn B – Thanks to the link to the Eric Dondero mini-manifesto. He made a lot of suggestions about how to behave in a supermarket checkout line, what to do to your neighbors lawn, etc. I don’t believe he made a single comment or suggestion that his heroes the founding fathers would have done to fight injustice, real or perceived. Hopefully he finds his one room cabin in the woods away from all Democrats (real or perceived), and it’s off the grid, and without an internet connection.
45I have to suspect that those family & acquaintances who he promises never to speak to again, will be mighty glad of that.
46I’m a maggot
He’s a maggot
She’s a maggot
We’re all maggots
Isn’t it sad they can’t be maggots too!
(*sung to the old Dr Pepper jingle)
And btw the WINE WILL BE FLOWING in New Baden tonight! In case you missed it, my Ags BEAT THE HELL OUTTA BAMA !!
WHOOP! So we have Sumlin in Aggieland, tearin it up with Mike Sherman’s recruits (love you Mike, THANK YOU) and Barack Obama safely ensconced in the White House for another four years…
Did Christmas come early?!
47I truly hate the way come of my fellow Texans throw the word “secession” around. That question has been settled, and a whole lot of young men died settling it. We are not all right wing nuts here in Texas. The gerrymandering of our districts was done because we Democrats were asleep at the wheel, and are notoriously bad at getting out the vote in off-year elections. That insane lege and the Tea party senator with which we are stuck are a couple of the end results. We need to turn out the vote in the non-presidential years, and send these people back under the rocks from whence they crawled.
48Instead if talking about Vermont and calling those of us who voted for PBO “maggots,” Peter Morrison needs to be hitting the books to learn more U.S. and Texas State history. Way back in 1869 the Supreme Court heard a case known as Texas v. White. Although the case dealt with bonds, the SC also ruled that once a state joins the Union, it cannot secede. It’s people like Morrison that put foolish ideas in the minds of the uninformed. I’m a retired high school social studies teacher, and I can’t imagine anyone thinking that Morrison is qualified to screen textbooks in Texas when he doesn’t know anything about his own state’s, or U. S. history. There are a lot of people like Morrison here in GA, too, and I do wish they’d build a few hundred space shuttles and self-deport to Mars. There, they’d get a chance to demonstrate how self-reliant they really are and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps would be a reality.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_v._White
49The suggestion that repubs go to Somalia has a problem. There aren’t many white people there, so the tea baggers might feel a bit out of place. There is another country that also offers limited government, free for all crony capitalism, and almost everyone is white. Russia. Remember to pack warmly.
50