Here’s Little Break
This is not about politics. It is about snooty. Coffee snooty.
I get alerts from something called Woot! It’s not as good as it was a couple of years ago because it was really good so they sold it to someone else for a boatload of money and someone else ruined it. Still, I occasionally get a good deal there on weird stuff.
And speaking of weird ….
This morning their main deal was this jewel.
It is a coffeemaker that posts Instagrams of itself, Facebook chats with other coffeemakers in the neighborhood, tweets comebacks to Donald Trump, and makes your day better because your coffee was brewed at 103 degrees instead of the subpar 104. It also knows how high you are. Well, they call it your altitude but we all know what they mean, right?
And a bargain at about $160.
I disrupted everyone within 30 feet with my laughter at this one.
1Prescient. Our last cup of coffee deserves to be perfect.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ew01FGfOZdE
Forget 2525 and a billion years, Zager & Evans. Try the first 100 days of Donnie.
2Products like this make me want to cuss almost as much as the gubmint.
Makes me think of this:
http://i.imgur.com/2H8gZq5.jpg
3Nope. Not gonna do it. Not gettin’ one.
I refuse to own an appliance that’s more active on social media than I am. Or which takes better selfies.
4I’m gonna wait until they introduce the HAL9000 model with a full red power light, instead of green. Then when I walk into the kitchen first thing in the morning I’ll be greeted with:
G o o d m o r n i n g D a v e…
5I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I’ve still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in my ability to brew coffee. And I want to help you.
I wonder if it conforms to the Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol?uot
6Crap like this is the universe’s way of telling you that you’re making WAY too much money.
7“Pour-over?” Is that the gold standard for coffee brewing? That looks like what I do with my unautomated VERY old-school Melitta 6-cup filter holder. Which makes dandy coffee every day and has for the last 35 years. No, it’s not ready to drink when I stumble down the stairs in the pre-dawn to get ready for work, but whatever. I notice they don’t talk about how to clean the thing. If I can’t put the parts into the dishwasher, fuggedaboudit. And my altitude? Not high enough, that’s for sure.
8This is not coffee pot based, but this seems like a good place to share a lovely little ditty from a Wapo comment:
“CyIam
2:49 PM CST
“I wish I was in the land of Tom Cotton.
9Democracy there has sure gone rotten.
Look away! Look away! Look away,
Dickish land.”
I refuse – REFUSE – to have a damn old coffeepot smarter than I am. I had to work like a team of dogs to git educated and I will not take second place to something that gits its smarts from a damn wall plug!
I’m switching to tea!
10At last! The perfect appliance for people with more money than sense, who don’t mind being in thrall to a coffeepot smarter than they are. And cheap at the price.
11You had me at tweets comebacks to President Dimwit….
12I’m with Maggie! Drink tea!
13Here’s a horrible thought (funny though). Picture this: the White House. Early AM. A nekkid cj wanders out to get coffee. The pot takes his picture and posts the whole episode on ytube.
And now… there’s a crock pot (slow cooker) out there with it’s own downloadable app! You can set it up with everything inside and send a message to start cooking and it will message you back updating its progress and alerting you when its done!
I once owned a VCR. Remember those? It had a feature where you could program it to record 8 different shows over 14 days. Wow. Nothing better I would want to do than spend an hour programming that thing before going on vacation. Or how about the microwave with a 3 hour delay start feature! For God’s sake… why?
If you want to understand this country, study up on how technology has infiltrated our lives. I call it the Microsofting of America. It’s changed how we think. And not for the better.
14‘Handcrafted cup of pour-over coffee’…..I confess I am bumfuzzled by this one. But then I make my own ‘handcrafted cup of pour-over tea’ every morning…the little filter basket thingy sits right in the cup, and all I have to do is throw in tea leaves and boil water in a kettle.
Of course, I’m at 3500′ altitude, so the water is is probably 109 degrees, instead of 112, but what do I know? In any case, without wifi, or cell reception, at my house, I’m unsure just how I’d program the darn thing anyway!
15JAK, I thank my lucky stars that my old crockpot missed the technology explosion. Have had it for years and it depends on ME! I didn’t mind the idea of timers that turn lights on and off. I though that technology was soft and inoffensive. Now I’m beginning to wonder . . .
16So.. I didn’t spend 160 bucks on the project but before I bought my own 2-cup Herr Coffee for my desk, I endured the heinous problems of the department coffee pot being a long dog leg from my office. The other coffee pots were across an elevator lobby in offices occupied by suits and one down four floors in the basement. To solve this overwhelming problem of not wanting to walk ALL the way to the coffee pot down the dog leg, a couple of us hung an IP camera across the hall from the coffee pot and zoomed in on the pot in sufficient detail to determine the level of coffee in the pot. It’s IP address approximated ‘IT.COF.FE.POT’. Eventually we were found out. The 2-cup Herr Coffee was cheaper and irritated the suits far less.
17The French press (I don’t know why it’s French, but it works great) is where it’s at for making coffee. I despise drip machines because the result tastes terrible no matter the brand or price. I just dump in coffee and water, wait a bit, push the plunger, and get good coffee. I suppose I could get it a little quicker by having a timer start up the electric kettle to heat the water, but that’s more trouble than I’m willing to go to.
18Tilphousia! Bwahahaha…. Good one!
I want do a graphic of Ted Cruz in his paisley robe looking at Trump next to him in his Jockeys and thinking “Low class bastard!”.
19Micr! Bravo! I knew some engineers in my youth who did much the same thing with their entire environment. At the time I thought they were simply taking their ideas too far and maybe they were even lazy. Now I see they were the forefront of today’s techie lifestyle. And I even married one. LSU! LSU! GEAUX TIGERS!
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