Here, Let Me Ruin Your Memorial Day Weekend for You
Right here, as one of the friendly free customer services we offer here at the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., I will completely ruin your entire weekend.
Remember that goofy guy Tucker Carlson? Well, when he got too weird for teevee, he got himself a website. It’s “The Daily Caller.”
And he’s giving away guns to get his sheeple to the polls. He’s giving away a gun every week between now and November 6th. Is that sending a message about what to do if Republicans lose again or what?
.
It comes in three colors, y’all. Seriously. Even got the Bill of Rights on it. Seriously. No, seriously.
Each gun is engraved with the Bill of Rights and comes in one of three colors.
See, I told you. Three colors. The Bill of Rights.
I think it’s just Tucker’s way of saying, “Have a great Memorial Day weekend. Shoot someone.”
Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.
Wait, wait, WAIT! I think I saw this on the RAT (Redneck Appytude Test)
Tucker Carlson is giving away a gun a week between May 20th and November 6, 2012. How many FMK9C1 9 mm handguns engraved with the Bill of Rights will Tucker need?
A) …Sept, Oct…carry six, divide by…uh, a lot!
B) How many you got?
C) 24, if you round your answer.
D) As many as he wants, this is Amurrica, durnit!
E) The bow-tie sissy boy? I don’t want his guns.
The right anser is C, but if you ansered that yore clearly a librul ivy tower math alitist, so you don’t git no points. If you ansered D, you are a true patriut 4 points. If you anser A you are tecknickly coreck 3 points. If you anser B, you are a ecomonic bizness genyus 2 points. If you anser E I admire yore spunk but whatsamatter with you? its free guns! 1 point.
1Ohhhh, mother of pearl (handle).
2Dear Lord. And I thought the Chaves County Republicans had won the How Creepy Is This contest by raffling off a rifle as a fundraiser!
3The entire bill of rights? really? can you read it? And, all important question, did they make the 2nd amendment bigger and bolder, because, well…
*sigh*
You haven’t ruined my weekend, JJ, but you sure make me glad to live in Oregon. Well, western Oregon. Well, northwestern Oregon… oh dear…
4He reminds me of a verse by Mr. Frank Zappa from 1968:
Bow tie daddy dontcha blow your top Everything’s under control
5Bow tie daddy dontcha blow your top ’cause you think you’re gettin’ too old Don’t try to do no thinkin’
Just go on with your drinkin’
Just have your fun, you old son of a gun Then drive home in your lincoln
You know this doesn’t really ruin my weekend, I don’t think that for any of the winners this will be their first gun. Its just another to add to the collection for when the big bad govinmint comes for their weapons.
6We could also sign up for his contest. Imagine how much he would enjoy having his contest turned on it’s head if “liberals” started winning his guns. And if the “liberal” winners sent in photos of his prizes being used as a paperweight, meat tenderizer, maybe target practice with a Tucker Carson poster. It’s in the bill of rights, right Tucker?
7Where is Jon Stewart when you need him??
I passed on Tucker a long time ago.
Now….. I’ll just pass on his free guns.
A publicity gimmick….. is a publicity gimmick….. is a publicity gimmick.
8Somehow I couldn’t imagine Tucker even holding a gun, much less shooting one. But who knows? Now that he dropped his Jr. High graduation bow tie and went with the ’70s open shirt look there’s no telling how wild ‘n’ crazy he is now.
9I love Rick’s idea and was going to sign up…hey, I’m a Texan, live on a big spread with snakes (no oil) and could use an extra gun with or without the Bill of Rights. It would be pretty great to know where at least one of them was, right? I mean, left. Oh gosh, I’m so conflicted. I’d really, really like to enter the contest but I. Am. Not. Giving. My. E-Mail. To. That. Idiot.
10The good news is that every gun will be engraved with the very first article of the Bill of Rights, Amendment 1: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
Bad news is, it is going to be too small to read.
11What was Tucker Swanson Carlson’s (DOB – May 1969) reason for not serving in the First Gulf War when he was only 22 (at the start of) or the Iraqi/Afgahn Wars when he was 34?
12Check out this web site for a demonstration. If you can braid your beard like the demonstrator – maybe Juanita’s beauty expertise can help with that – you may qualify for a discount!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TUUnLXnXrc
13It sadly reminds me of Pima county Republican’s auctioning off a Glock (after Giffords was shot in Tucson) for a fundraiser–since it wasn’t the same model gun…they couldn’t figure out why people were upset.
14We need to start thinking up slogans and fast–the Republicans are coming after O as being down on companies and holding up Rmoney’s years at Bain as a good thing–using Soylandra as a weapon and the Staples that survived his raptor attention as what America needs…that is ruining my weekend–sigh!
Bow-Tie Boy is heir to the Swanson teevee dinner dynasty – he is sillier than Dubya and GoodHair combined~little boy Tuck, what are you lacking that giving gunz away to IMBECILES will complete you?
Criminy, they get STOOPIDER by the day…hour…minute…second… and
BTW,
You posters are FRIGGIN’ HILARIOUS~thanks
15Not all the Bill of Rights…just the important ones, like…say, the 2nd?
How much space would that take? Especially after you’ve ground off the serial number…
16Trust baby Tucker just tries everything to get attention and keeps failing. All his sense is in his “dancing feet,” and we know how bad those feet are. No rhythm, no coordination and no feet if he tries out one of the guns. The give-a-way is just another ploy to get clicks on his site. It must be difficult to get people to read his crap.
17Sister A:
I’m with you – how could anyone possibly read the font they’d have to use to put the entire Bill of Rights on that handgun.
18I too live in Oregon. Oregon is a Stand Your Ground state. I have taken a sabbatical from dating ever since the last guy I dated (an Oregon native) told me he stopped carrying a concealed weapon, after many years of doing just that, because he was tempted to shoot someone just for their annoyance factor. Did I mention he expected praise for his decision?
*Le Sigh*
Hey thanks for the info. I think I will sign up for one of those guns…you know incase the Republithugs win.
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