Hello, Y’all, From Texas Where Satire Never Dies
You’ve probably already met Jenna Ryan, a 51 year old Texas realtor who attended the January 6th attempted overthrow of the United States government.
Bless her heart, she never learned that there’s a difference between guts and gall. And she has parlayed herownself into a little ole 60 day stunt in prison, where she intends to do a lot of yoga and lose 30 pounds. I am hoping it’s 30 pounds of gall.
Jenna took the trip to the capitol on a private jet where she had been invited by “a cute guy” on Twitter or TikTok or Instagram or some damn place you meet other nice people. She marched into the capitol tweeting on her cell phone, promoting her business, and trying to make a name for herself on rightwing radio. Seriously. Oh yeah, and she also wanted a book deal.
She then decided that she’s a victim. Yeah, y’all are suppressing her.
She went so far as to assert that the backlash she has received is akin to the experience of “the Jews in Germany.”
“They’re making fun of my skin color. They’re calling me an ‘insurrection Barbie,’” she said.
I dunno, Jenna, but it seems to me they’re making fun of everything about you. I mean, you weren’t born with that stoopid hat on. And women didn’t die for your right to vote so you could push your business while overthrowing democracy.
“You guys, will you believe this?” Ryan said on Facebook Live while inside the Capitol, according to the sentencing memo. “I am not messing around. When I come to sell your house, this is what I will do. I will f—ing sell your house.”
So, anyway, Jenna went to prison last month and I hope she’s shedding some of her privilege.
Meanwhile, some really mean people set up a political PAC for her to enjoy while she’s doing yoga. It’s called Stop the Persecution of MAGA Blondies. It claims she filed it but she’s in prison right now so I kinda doubt that. Cue the whine machine – they’re making fun of Jenna again.
“Insurrection Barbie” is simply classic! She, however, is too clueless to get any of this. She just can’t understand why anybody would make fun of her! I’m not planning on wasting a single breath trying to explain it to her, either.
1Jenna should consult with Devin Nunes as to how one sues imaginary cows to combat satire. Some call what is happening to Jenna as being pwned, a combo of punked and owned. Here in good ol’ boy country Nevaduh we just call it being trick rolled. Or, as the commercial says “what plays in Vegas stays in Vegas.” What they fail to mention is that would be your wallet if you sample the wrong street goodies.
2Ummm, that email address with the so-called PAC tells you all you need to know.
3The roles she has in the PAC are “Founder and Treasure”. I really hope “Treasure” isn’t a typo. XD
4AK Lynne @3 – as George Takei might say, “Oh, Myyyyyyy!”
5“When I come to sell your house, this is what I will do. I will f—ing sell your house.”
If I’m looking for someone to list my home for sale, I think I’d prefer an agent without an entourage of podium kleptomaniacs, carpet trompers who only stop when they put their feet up on the furniture, and bare chested horn helmeted maga-mega-mouths. But maybe that’s just me.
6Wow! What she said! Sounds like just another jerk who thinks he/she can fart a birthday cake with all the candles lit and not fry her butt! Smart! Real Smart!!!
7Well isn’t she just special. 60 days is only enough punishment to get the grift going for sympathy $$’s. That’ll be the case for many insurrectionists.
8I don’t like to categorize people by their hair color but can’t help calling her a dumb blonde. No offense to anyone.
60 lbs. in 60 days!? Don’t you Texans feed your jailbirds?
9I presume that with a prison sentence and criminal record that her credentials to sell real estate are revoked.
10So when she gets out of the pokey she’ll have to earn a living in some other manner? I could make a few suggestions…
I have a friend who used to teach writing at the women’s federal prison in Bryan. I don’t know which prison Barbie is in but the officials in Bryan LOATHE the prisoners, so enjoy!
11Ms. Jenna [convicted felon] Ryan’s RE brokers license is still showing active on the TREC [link below]. She does have some impressive coursework listed there.
A revocation is surely coming?
Of course, since the TREC is part of the Rethug controlled Texas gubmint, it might just be ‘IOKIYAR’.
Hope somebody keeps an eye on this.
https://www.trec.texas.gov/apps/license-holder-search/?detail_id=999972700
Alternate Name: “FIRST PLACE REAL ESTATE”
12Jenna’s ‘Club Fed’: Federal Prison Camp, Bryan (FPC Bryan), where Jenna’s probably the best educated inmate anyway.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_Prison_Camp,_Bryan
“The Federal Prison Camp, Bryan (FPC Bryan) is a minimum-security United States federal prison for female inmates in Texas.
…
Jenna Ryan 25912-509 Serving a 60 day sentence.
[7] Participated in the 2021 Capitol Attack.
https://www.dallasobserver.com/news/frisco-real-estate-broker-and-capitol-rioter-jenna-ryan-surrenders-to-federal-prison-13098960
.
Offenses 4, 5, 6, 8, 12, 13, 14, at minimum, listed below should be good enough to pull her RE license forever.
Texas Real Estate Commission
§541.1 Criminal Offense Guidelines:
https://www.trec.texas.gov/agency-information/rules-and-laws/trec-rules#chapter541
Ҥ541.1 Criminal Offense Guidelines
For the purposes of Chapter 53, Texas Occupations Code, the Texas Real Estate Commission considers that a deferred adjudication deemed a conviction under §53.021 or a conviction of the following criminal offenses directly relates to the duties and responsibilities of a real estate broker and real estate sales agent
*** because committing these offenses tends to demonstrate a person’s inability to represent the interest of another with honesty, trustworthiness, and integrity *** :
1. offenses involving fraud or misrepresentation;
2. offenses involving forgery, falsification of records, or perjury;
3. offenses involving the offering, paying, or taking of bribes, kickbacks, or other illegal compensation;
4. offenses against real or personal property belonging to another;
5. offenses against the person;
6. offenses against public administration;
7. offenses involving the sale or other disposition of real or personal property belonging to another without authorization of law;
8. offenses involving moral turpitude;
offenses in violation of Chapter 21, Texas Penal Code (sexual offenses);
9. offenses for which the person has been required to register as a sex offender under Chapter 62, Texas Code of Criminal Procedure;
10. felonies involving the manufacture, delivery, or intent to deliver controlled substances;
11. offenses of attempting or conspiring to commit any of the foregoing offenses;
12. offenses involving aiding and abetting the commission of an offense listed in this section;
13. repeated violations of one criminal statute or multiple violations of different criminal statutes; and
14. felonies involving driving while intoxicated (DWI) or driving under the influence (DUI).”
§541.2 Criminal History Evaluation Letters
13Pursuant to Texas Occupations Code, Chapter 53, Subchapter D and §1101.353,
*** a person may request that the Commission evaluate the person’s eligibility for a specific occupational license regulated by the Commission by:
submitting a request on a form approved by the Commission for that purpose; and
paying the required fee.
Sandridge, you forgot:
15. Being dumber than dirt.
14One of the few positive aspects of military service is learning to live with people you otherwise wouldn’t associate with.
But I’m ok with this approach. Maybe she’ll earn something.
15I think you all looking at the real estate licensing and thinking there will be a revocation may be a trifle optimistic about consequences.
The charming Realtor … harming cRealtor ?? …. is only adjudicated as guilty of a “misdemeanor count of parading, picketing or demonstrating in the Capitol.”
I don’t think Texas real estate is all that concerned about parades…. other tourists don’t have THEIR license pulled, so why would it happen to Jenna?
16john in denver @16, In the end it might play out as you think, which will be a damned shame.
I hedged it by pointing that very probability out, due to ‘Rethugs’; and also quoted “§541.2” which allows anyone to challenge the fitness of a license holder [these statutes apply to all state licensed occupations].
However, the other statutes [partially quoted] enumerating the actual actionable offenses resulting in revocation, only use the status word “felony” for just –one– listed offense, #15 involving DWI/DUI.
So any of the others, some quite broadreaching, ambiguous and inclusive, could be either –misdemeanors–, felonies, or just as ‘#8 offenses involving moral turpitude’, which could be almost anything.
Given the general acceptance, among rational people, that January 6 was nothing less than domestic terrorism and an attempted first ever US coup d’etat, there is no valid reason to let this traitorous bitch resume her former fiduciary occupation.
17But of course this is Texass, sooo…
PS: Besides, a 60 day sentence in a federal prison isn’t a minor matter in anybody’s world.
Not that I personally consider ‘Realtors’ as paragons of virtue in any possible way either. 75% of my dealings with realtors resulted in my [thorough] due diligence uncovering malfeasance and outright fraud. I won’t ever deal with one again, I simply handle things myself with the help of a RE lawyer, ever since the last RE ripoff attempt.
18**offenses against real or personal property belonging to another
Given the damage to the Capitol building, I’m wondering if this’ll be covered.
19Well, bless her heart.
20Speaking of satire one of the best books ever borrowed from my Grandpa’s library: “The Neighbors Are Scaring My Wolf.” Written by Jack Douglas circa 1968, it is very apropos of the times in which we find ourselves, especially when dealing with conservatives. And, who among us does not have at least one of “those” neighbors? Sarcastic SOB that I can be at times, am thinking of locating a few extra copies to share with a few certain people. Yeah. Futile. The satire will most likely fly over their pointy heads or bounce off their tin foil hats.
21I’m guessing Jenna has never been surrounded by so many Black and Latina women, and she never will be again. It’s not as if she ever sold a house to one.
22She made herself a target; her stay won’t be pleasant. She might lose 30 lbs but it will be a result of running and hiding from the other prisoners.
Of course, we’ll be treated to the spectacle of a book telling how her “christian” faith helped her make it through this “persecution”.
23I’m sure 60 days in prison will seem like a long time for this jenna person and even if she has issues with her RE business, it doesn’t compare to the trauma this democracy has gone through. And much of that trauma is going to go on for years, which is the punishment I think she and her coconspirators should be receiving.
24Ok, this should be fun. A couple of Texas favorite dumbs eating each other:
https://www.rawstory.com/donald-trump-2656404167/
25Someone should get her together with the Qanon Shaman. Based on wardrobe alone I think they are soulmates.
26This lady has re-branded her “realtor” business as “Jennifer Rodgers” due to the negative publicity she has received when she entered the Capitol during the insurrection. She has absolutely no remorse, and thrives off of attention as if it is oxygen. For years, she’s overrun the comment section of North Texas news and politics with nonsense. I believe it was revealed in court documents that she has terrible finances, living above her means to try and convince people that she’s a success.
Just like her hero!
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