He Just Couldn’t Help Himself
Ted Cruz has a big world map in his rumpus room. He sticks a pin in each country where he has pissed people off. He’s pretty much got it covered. Well, except for Australia.
He took it as a personal challenge. And, of course, he had success without even trying real hard.
And like his hero Donald Trump, Cruz conducts delicate international relationships with the learned hand of Twitter.
I love the Aussies. Their history of rugged independence is legendary; I’ve always said Australia is the Texas of the Pacific.
The Covid tyranny of their current government is disgraceful & sad.
Individual liberty matters.
I stand with the people of #Australia https://t.co/9elCF0KRA3
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) October 13, 2021
Michael Gunner responded …
Mr Gunner hit back, telling Mr Cruz that Australia had a duty to protect aboriginal Australians, “the oldest continuous living culture on the planet”, who have suffered from grievous infection rates this year.
Mr Gunner said: “Nearly 70,000 Texans have tragically died from Covid. There have been zero deaths in the Territory. Did you know that?
“We’ve done whatever it takes to protect the Territory. That’s kept us safe and free. We have been in lockdown for just eight days in 18 months. Our business and schools are all open.
Of course Ted knew that. He just didn’t care. His lies go unchallenged here because we just all normally assume that if it comes out of his mouth … it ain’t pure.
And y’all, one more thing. Why does he have to ruin everything? You wanna watch a whole city cringe? Hang this picture on one of the overpasses.
Ted Cruz’s primary care physician is a proctologist.
1Feeling better about Sawx’ chances for having seen that photo. I mean, somewhere there’s probably a picture of, I dunno, Corey Lewandoski wearing a Sox jersey, but when it comes to immense buttholes who ruin everything they touch, as yall know too well, Ted’s the big enchilada…..
2Horizontal stripes across the spare tire ain’t a good look for us fat farts. Astros gotta have a better fan jersey than that he coulda got. Probably picked out for him by the good friends that told him “Yeah, of course, you should boogie out of town to Mexico during the ice storm of the century.” And posted pictures.
3Ted needs to customize his Astros shirt.
4For the sake of accuracy.
Block out the -tro-.
Fled is a world-class contortionist.
5He manages to continually put his foot in his mouth while his head is up his ass.
That’s an ugly shit eating grin if I ever saw one. Agree with Rick- drop the “tro” but I’d add “hole” at the end. And maybe Big above it.
6Like the Aussies told him, the Astros should tell him they don’t need him.
Steve, I think I m starting to see a pattern emerge, so who am I to buck a trend.
7I remember years ago hearing people comment that somebody had a smile on their face that couldn’t be wiped off with a sh**ty mop.
But to my knowledge that theory’s never been actually tested…..
“It’s a baseball uniform stuffed with chicken sh!t.”
“What is Ted Cruz?”
8I can hardly wait until January 2025, when we will read,”former Senator Ted Cruz . . .”
9I’ve seen a headline that got it wrong: “Ted Cruz humiliated by Australian leader”. It should be “Ted Cruz humiliated himself … yet again”. All the Aussies did was point it out to him.
10Grandma Ada- for not only Texans but all of us, I hope you’re right because that’ll mean a lot of other political A holes will be “former”. I can only dream of that.
11“What’s not as smart as an appliance?”
“What is Ted Cruz?”
12Ted handed his head once again. And he never seems to get tired of it.
13I hope the weight gain isn’t health related.
Teddy grew the beard and `tache to *try* to look important .
14It’s the fact that it’s tucked in. Only posers wear their gear tucked in. Oh wait, never mind….
15Is that picture of the umpire in a gay softball game? After being attacked by a starfish?
16Quite becoming.