When I first heard about Dat Guy’s phone call with the President of the government ON Taiwan (as the United States refers to that polity) I assumed he was too dumb to know better. That assumption was not shaken when, immediately in the aftermath, Dat Guy Tweet-whined “she called ME,” as if to say, “Hey, I was just being polite. It’s Not My Fault!”

There’s Only One China… and several flags, it turns out.

But recent reporting by the Washington Post and others has nameless functionaries involved in the transition leaking that tweaking China’s nose with Taiwan was Dat Guy’s “plan” all along. That “talks” had been going on for some time about what to do with those relationships. If so, no one seems to have notified the Resident-elect.

All the optics and leaks are so confusing, that we are left with three general explanations for what’s going on. None of them are what we’d call “good news.”

Bad News: Dat Guy knew all about the secret plan, was implementing it when he pretended to take her call for no particular reason other than she’d made it, then excoriated China in his subsequent tweets, all to strengthen his negotiating position by causing China to lose face, which, of course, they exist solely NOT to do. Then, some low-level morons leaked the secret plan to the Washington Post. Well, that would be bad, if they can’t even maintain a secret plan past the first week. And the leak would undo any leverage.

Worse News: There WAS no secret plan, and Dat Guy is so completely out of touch with world politics and diplomacy that he simply didn’t know Taiwan’s status, but couldn’t be seen to be such a stumble-bum. So they leaked to WaPo another of his schoolboy excuses: “I MEANT to do that.” That would be worse, to have the most powerful nation in the world run by a dilettante.

Worst news: There was a secret plan, but no one told Dat Guy, and they just steered him into what calls to return, unwittingly. Once he – or rather, the clueless cotillion of confederate catch-farts around him -figured it out, they leaked the plan as part of the internecine warfare that seems to have dogged this campaign since Paul Manafort came on board. That would be worst of all because the dilettante leader of the most powerful nation in the world will be a puppet controlled by a cabal of unelected creeps.

I lean towards this last explanation. Manafort’s influence on substantial policy was maintained by his acolytes even after he left the campaign. Its greatest influence was on the candidate’s already warm feeling towards the Slavic peoples on both a personal (wives 1 and 3) and professional (Alfa Bank, et al) level.

For that reason, language promoting relations with Taiwan and excoriating China was also in the GOP platform, overshadowed by the changes in the plank regarding Ukraine’s relationship to Russia.   The situations are analogous, but the GOP took TWO OPPOSITE TACKS in dealing with the territorial ambitions of the two major nuclear players on the Asian continent, including the one we really need to hold North Korea in check.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.

In more of these “congratulatory” calls, Dat Guy has stepped squarely into the middle of a mess with Pakistan, stumbling around policy that seems to tighten our ties with their weak government, which is controlled by their military, and managed to upset India with moronic promises to broker a deal on Kashmir. In addition, GOP/Dat Guy’s policy on Afghanistan seems designed to allow that country to fall squarely into Pakistan’s sphere of influence.

All of this squares with the warm embrace of Putin and HIS ambitions, destabilizing American relationships from Istanbul to Islamabad, from Tehran to Taipei, from Budapest to Beijing.

It’s global thermonuclear Risk: in China and India, Resident-elect Dat Guy has managed to piss off 1/3 of the WHOLE WORLD POPULATION. But what’s worse is the destabilization of the delicate nuclear balance between not ONE, not TWO, but FIVE nuclear powers on the Asian continent: Russia, China, India, Pakistan and North Korea.

All in the first month since his election.

I don’t mind that Dat Guy doesn’t know everything about international diplomacy on Day Minus 50; I mind that he’s never seen an episode of The West Wing.

All the cool kids have been Netflix binging Jed Bartlet since 11/8/16 – wonder why?