Happy Thanksgiving
A message from Nick Carroway.
It’s a cross we all have to bear. I get to spend Thanksgiving with the in-laws. Ms. Carroway has thrown down the ultimatum that if politics comes up she might very well become a widow. As you might have gathered, the in-laws are Trump supporters.
In nearly 20 years of marriage I have never brought up politics with them. This hasn’t stopped them from doing the same. I’ve learned new things about Trump I never knew. For instance, he’s a brilliant businessman. I’ll bet you didn’t know that one. He’s also an economic genius. That’s a new one too.
I bite my tongue to keep the peace. I know Ms. Carroway has gotten into it with them. I just bite my tongue. I don’t know if that makes me wise, foolish, or weak. So, at any rate I will be on hiatus for awhile. I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving.
That reminds me of the time a Thanksgiving dinner turned into a discussion of creationism versus evolution. The big crushing argument the creationists brought up was that “Darwin recanted on his deathbed.” My reply that science uses evidence, such as moths with light-colored wings getting scarcer in areas where tree bark was darkened by soot weren’t received well.
(I didn’t mention that if God loves the free market, which is based on Social Darwinism concepts, why would God act like a communist-type central planning commissar and design each animal individually?
1Easiest way to save money on Christmas gifts: Talk politics at thanksgiving.
2I decided a long time ago that putting up with stupid people just wasn’t worth it. However, I’ve been very lucky in the friends I’ve made and the family that is nearest to me, so this isn’t something I have to tolerate.
3I’m quite thankful this year that we cannot have the loud, Trumpist in-laws here for Thanksgiving. Christmas has come early!
4My in-laws (husband’s siblings & their families) all live in Florida, and are planning their own super-spreader Thanksgiving event there. Most of them are Trumpers, and some have really gone wacko lately. I mean, even more wacko than usual. We were invited, but politely declined “for covid reasons”. One of the siblings has stated that covid is a hoax, so you can see why we aren’t going! The arguments are gonna be lit this year, though, especially once they start drinking.
5Nick, just keep smiling. I know the drill. Their definitions of brilliant businessman and economic genius come from a world far, far away. I guess they don’t read any books or have any hobbies or any progency that might be discussed. Hopefully they will all get drowsy after eting all that turkey.
6We’re socially distancing and staying at home….just the two of us. I have, though, self-induced “early onset Tourette’s syndrome”. When politics talk starts I just start making random words…..mostly I quote road signs like “left lane is for passing only”, or “bridges may ice in cold weather”, or “fines double, road work ahead”. Keep this up for a minute or so and then just mutter quietly. They leave me alone and NO ONE messes with my plate.
7When politics and religion enter the discussion, people way too often fall back on their foundation ideas and will go no further. Some people become hostile when those foundation ideas are brought up. It can quickly become a losing proposition.
8Mashed potatoes make great projectiles.
9Happy Thanksgiving to all. Be happy. Wherever and with whomever you celebrate this year, be thankful. Be very thankful that you are not having dinner with Moose (Donnie) and Squirrel (Messy).
10I was disowned by family because I am a Democrat. So celebrate alone.
11My wife declared that she only cooks Thanksgiving dinner for Democrats. We had a smaller crowd the first year, but we recovered.
12Once an in-law on the GOP side of the family asked how I can stand working with “all those liberal professors”. You mean with myself? But last report was only 2 on that side of the family are still GOP so there’s hope.
As for Thanksgiving- never was a fan of indigestion. Nor actually, of being host for a bunch of vegetarians and picky eaters (jr only eats pizza? really?). The last straw was when a niece was an hour late because she “had” to go shopping. By that time, all our kids spent the day at in-laws (we got Christmas). So- smallish turkey, only the trimmings spouse and I like, and we eat alone in the kitchen and talk to kids later by phone. No house cleaning, no dressing up, no cooking stuff I don’t like, no sharing leftovers. All things to be thankful for.
13My brother is a Trumper. 🙁 When he starts in on politics, I get up and leave the room, no matter what I’m doing or who else is there, no explanation, no apology. I started 3 years ago, and now he more or less shuts up.
14Just enjoy Thanksgiving – we that much closer to 2020 being in the rear view mirror!
15Thanksgiving is too-short of a holiday for international students to fly home to see their family and make it back for classes. So every year I put on a Tex-Mex feast and invite all of my department’s grad students over. Over the years I’ve had Israelis and Palestinians, Russians and Poles, Turks and Armenians, and even Irish and English sharing a meal without warfare or harsh words. This is not a formal event; everyone pitches in chopping onions and cleaning up afterwards.
What is it about families that makes this impossible?
Anyway, here’s my wish that the whole gang here at TWMDBS not only gets through the event without gunfire, but actually some plain unmitigated enjoyment.
16Having a long-term interest in conversions of various sorts, I am interested in how participants in various Republican/Trumpian world views are going to handle the loss. Not interested enough to go talk with the few Trump believing people around me, but if you are going to interact with some, I’d love to read how they cope.
But beware: there are possibilities which could be uncomfortable. The book “When Prophecy Fails: A Social and Psychological Study of a Modern Group That Predicted the Destruction of the World” lays out what happened in one group, theorizing: “the inevitable disconfirmation would be followed by an enthusiastic effort at proselytizing to seek social support and lessen the pain of disconfirmation. “
17Good luck Nick. My sister and brother are not talking to me now. My brother said if I voted for Biden he’d never talk to me again. Probably best. Unfortunately, the next time I see either one of them will likely be at a funeral.
18Just a suggestion, because many Trumpf supporters are extra worked up about the race being called for Biden, you should be prepared that they may bring up the election anyway. Have your Biden mask handy so you can cover your face and not talk politics. Just a thought.
Nick, isn’t it possible that you have been or may be exposed to the Coronavirus today or tomorrow? You would need to self quarantine to protect the health of those Maga loved ones. Jus’ sayin’.
19My discussions with family at Thanksgiving dinner usually focused on my crazy, questionable vegetarian diet.
“You sure you don’t want some turkey? Just a little?
“Are you getting enough to eat? (12 different food items are on my plate)
“Can you eat pumpkin pie?
These days they’d probably think my vegetarianism was a protest against corporate farming, hence corporations, hence I must be a socialist and we’re right back to politics. If they don’t already, by next year OAN will probably have A War On Thanksgiving segment to that effect.
20My Thanksgiving for several years has been with all my neighbors at a community wide dinner…probably a hundred people give or take. The ladies all outdo themselves in cooking, and it feels like the dinners at my grandmothers when I was growing up. Politics are not a topic, fortunately. Not this year, however, because everybody is hunkering down at home. I probably said this on another post. It sounds to me like I’m repeating myself. Anyway, I sure will miss all that great food.
21Happy Thanksgiving!
A malignant narcissist is ADDICTED to attention and praise. They need attention and the more they get, good or bad, the more they need.
22Promise Trump a TV show (with lots of pretty girls, balloons and tanks) so he can see himself on the TV every freakin day and he will leave the White House and hopefully leave us the f*ck alone until he’s properly put behind bars.
Smartest thing we ever did was refuse to fall into the “in-laws for the holidays” trap when we were young. With another young couple we declared the “Sorry, prior engagement” move, and the four of us celebrated T-day in peace and harmony. This is the only the second year in 51 that we haven’t had guests, and some years back I decreed (with ample advance warning) that we were not going to have *ANY* politics at the table. Everyone thanked me. Ever since we’ve talked about books, music, people we know, everybody’s private joys and sorrows…but not politics. Wish I’d done that earlier. Sure made for pleasanter dinners.
Of course, being known as people who *would* escort you out of the house and into your car if you started a political row…might have helped. (There was a notable party here where we SHOULD have done that, and we discussed it with the other guests after the drunken, verbally abusive boors left. Promised that not only would they never be invited again, but we would remove them if they or anyone like them showed up again. In hindsight, they were born to be Trumpists and we should have chucked them out in the first half hour.
Related news: husband’s OTHER brother (not the one who got Covid in early summer and his wife died of it) and his wife now have Covid. Yes, he voted for Trump. (So did the younger, I’m sure.) This one told my husband he didn’t LIKE Trump, but he had to vote for him because of abortion. He’s also the one who started that “not going there” stuff because of the day he called me up and said “You tell that husband of yours to get himself down to Mom’s for Thanksgiving” in a nasty “I’m the top gun in the family, you better obey voice.” And out of my mouth, in the smoothest Lady of the House voice I ever produced, came an instant “I’m sorry, but we have another engagement.”
We did once invite the younger brother and wife to our Thanksgiving when his mother was coming, and his older brother once…and they acted like themselves both times.
23Papa @11:
24Here’s to hoping you’ll enjoy the holiday.
2020’s almost done.
That’s something to be thankful for.
We’ll still be hanging out in this fine establishment.
Happy Thanksgiving.
My daughter in California has ordered me a Chuy’s enchilada plate with guac for Thanksgiving dinner, and she and her family are going to join me by Google Duo for the meal. Last saw them live the day before I went into isolation in March (I’m old and have a lung condition), but my thanksgiving is for their frequent video calls. And my kids and I are all Biden fans, so no family fights!
25Nick, can’t you truthfully decline for Covid reasons? As some health experts have said, a happy family Thanksgiving might result in a sad familyless Christmas.
26Nick,
I would say you are wise. Better to please your Missus and stay quite. Let her fight her parents.
@Jane & PKM 10,
27I am offended by your remark. Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle J. Moose are patriotic Americans who understand the importance of pulling together to defend democracy. Donnie and Messy are much closer to Boris and Natasha, but lazier and less intelligent.
My contribution is the secret to candied sweet potatoes that will make everybody happy: When mashing the potatoes with molasses or sorghum and cinnamon and butter, stir in at least half a cup of frozen concentrated orange juice.
28Something just reminded me of how to stop anyone talking politics at the table. Just say, “I’m tired of all this political blather. I would rather talk about religion or sex or both at once! Who’s with me!”
29