My buddy Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen not only makes the best hamburgers in America, but he also knows stuff.  Lotsa stuff.  Stuff you can’t even imagine.

Alfredo calls Rick Perry “Goldwater with good hair,” because he suspects that Perry will perform about as well as Goldwater did.

Plus, Perry’s kinda a rightwing radical extremist like Goldwater.  I mean, only kinda like Goldwater because even Goldwater favored gays in the military.

Alfredo sent this article over to the beauty shop today with our lunch order.  You’ll like it.  It’s work and Momma safe.

Alfredo says you can use his idea if you want to, and you don’t even have to pay him.  But, dammit, quit ordering you hamburgers without mustard.  Without mustard, it ain’t a hamburger – it something French.